Unfinished Business | Critical Role RPG Episode 100

Unfinished Business | Critical Role RPG Episode 100

MATT: Hello everyone, and welcome to tonight’s
episode of Critical Role, where a bunch of us nerdy-ass voice actors sit around and play
Dungeons & Dragons. (cheering) MATT: For our special 100th episode, which is
crazy. (cheering) MATT: So, you may have noticed, we have a new set.
Our crew’s been kicking ass and working hard to get this done in time for this episode, and we’re
pretty keen on it. so welcome to the visual upgrade to Critical Role. That includes the
glasses, the hats, and the various accoutrements. I should probably put mine up too. LAURA: They’ll be here forever. MATT: Perfect, that’s what was missing. Right in
my lav. Anyway, welcome. The start of the episode. All day, the energy from the community on the
internet has been just overwhelming. The stories, the messages, the art. It’s been intense. That’s
because of you guys, all of you. There are so many people to thank for the fact that we’ve been doing
this as long as we have, and enjoying it as much as we have every step of the way. Thank you to
everyone here at Geek & Sundry that brought us in, and had faith in this weird little show. Thank you
to my incredible cast that really make the show. I set the table, you all actually make the dinner. TRAVIS: Eat it. MATT: You all eat it. Thank you to everyone who’s
been a part of it. Thank you to Orion Acaba and Tiberius, who started this adventure with us
before going off on his own, thank you to all of our amazing guests we’ve had: Wil Wheaton, Felicia
Day, Will Friedle, Mary Elizabeth, Chris Perkins, Patrick Rothfuss, Noelle Stevenson, Jason Charles
Miller, Phil Lamarr and Ashly Burch who we had on one of our one-shots, which was fantastic. And
tonight, returning to this next chapter of the story, we have Jon Heder. LAURA: Kit Buss! MATT: And Kit Buss who came in! Our fantastic
artist, Kit Buss. We’ve had a few guests. LIAM: Tom Hanks was great. LAURA: He was wonderful. Renee Zellweger was
phenomenal. SAM: You guys missed the Dalai Lama. (laughter) LIAM: Such a min-maxer though MATT: Barbarian the whole way, I wouldn’t have
expected it. MARISHA: And of course, the latest, Jon Heder. MATT: Jon Heder, who will be here. But thank you,
everybody, and more than anyone that I just mentioned, the community. You guys, you guys who
have somehow taken our crazy adventure into your hearts and come along and laughed and cried and
tensed your butthole at the moments we did. TRAVIS: Tensed. Your buttholes. MATT: Yes. LIAM: Never stop. MATT: Never stop. You guys, it is an honor, it’s a
privilege, it’s overwhelming, it is humbling. It is truly magical, of anything I’ve experienced
outside of this wonderful girl here. LAURA: Who’s that? SAM: I think he was talking to you. MATT: I was pointing at Taliesin. TALIESIN: Yeah. MATT: But no, thank you all so very, very much.
We’re all so happy to have you here. And let’s get into our announcements for the evening. (cheering) MARISHA: There’s so many. MATT: First and foremost, our hundredth episode
tonight is sponsored by Marvel Puzzle Quest, returning once again. Thank you so much for being
our amazing sponsor. Sam? If you want to. SAM: I’m going to do a super fast throw out–
well, I’m not going to rush them, ’cause they are our sponsor. Marvel Puzzle Quest, everyone,
great game. Download Marvel Puzzle Quest, available on the App Store, Google Play, and Steam. New
characters are added every two weeks, and you can play as heroes, villangers– Villangers? Villains,
the Avengers, X-Men, Spider-Man, and more. Speaking of the characters, I’m going to do a
quick trivia quiz with Taliesin Jaffe here. Master of comic books. I’m going to read a list of
characters available on Marvel Puzzle Quest game. Some of them of them are real, some of them are
yoga positions. You tell me which is a character and which is a yoga position. Ready? TALIESIN: Yes. SAM: Spider-Man. TALIESIN: Marvel character. SAM: Flying-man. TALIESIN: Uh, yoga position. SAM: Firefly. TALIESIN: Marvel character? SAM: Yoga position. Devil Dinosaur. TALIESIN: Devil Dinosaur is definitely a Marvel
character. SAM: Invisible Woman. TALIESIN: Marvel character. SAM: Wild Thing. TALIESIN: Both? SAM: Yoga pose. Medusa. TALIESIN: Marvel character. SAM: Bird of Paradise. TALIESIN: Yoga position. SAM: Yes. Cow Face. TALIESIN: Marvel character? SAM: Yoga pose! The Hood. TALIESIN: Oh, Marvel character. SAM: The Warrior. TALIESIN: Yoga position. SAM: Yes. Ares. TALIESIN: Marvel character. SAM: Extended puppy. TALIESIN: Later. Yoga position. SAM: Correct, yay! Marvel Puzzle Quest, everybody.
Get it wherever you get your games, today. MARISHA: Watch him on the Wednesday Club.
Shameless plug. TALIESIN: There will be another shameless plug
later. MATT: We all laugh now, until the announcement of
the Extended Puppy comic series at Comic Con in a few months. SAM: We’re also supposed to give a quick shoutout
to Backblaze for sponsoring the first set of episodes of… MATT: Of, if you want to go ahead and discuss
this– who wants to pick this up? We have– SAM: Did I skip? Did I skip? It says on my page!
I’m sorry! MARISHA: No, it’s okay. As a lot of people already
probably know, we announced it in our press rollout, but in honor of the hundredth episode, we
now have episodes zero– which is all of our backstories– through ten in podcast form.
Critical Role podcast. And then what’s going to start happening is, towards the end of the month,
we want to start rolling out one a day, on work days. Five a week. Don’t kill us. All right? Every
day to catch up, ’til we get back on track. TRAVIS: (sings) It’s the end of the month. TRAVIS & MATT: (sings) Wake up, wake up, wake up,
It’s the end of the month. TRAVIS: Bone Thugs? Thank you, Matt. MARISHA: There’s a podcast. TALIESIN: You can find it on iTunes, you can find
it on Google. MATT: Google Play Music, or the Geek and Sundry
website. LAURA: Yeah, there’s definitely– all the links
are on geekandsundry.com. MARISHA: Yes, and Google Play, and yeah. The stuff
like that. LAURA: Can we talk– can we talk about this thing
now? MATT: Yes, we can. So, getting into our merch and
part of the celebration of the hundredth episode, Laura. What have you got in store? LAURA: Oh, well, thank you for asking, Matthew.
Well, number one, we have our amazing Scanlan concert tees. MATT: Yes. LAURA: As being worn by the buff and glorious Sam
Riegel. Gorgeous. Just gorgeous, with all the tour cities on the back and everything. And then, also,
a commemorative item for the hundredth episode. We worked with David Mack– Who is, like, this
amazing artist. He’s– you know him. Tell some of his work, ’cause– LIAM: Oh my gosh, he does covers for everything.
Daredevil– LAURA: Jessica Jones, I saw Jessica Jones work.
Kabuki. All of it. So he does this amazing watercolor work and he did an amazing art print
for us, so– LIAM: Here it is. LAURA: Without further ado. (cheering) LIAM: (sings) Look at this motherfucker. SAM: The intensity. The glamor. LIAM: The splatter. LAURA: I mean, I’m so excited about this. Number
one, just because it looks so freaking amazing. But then, he incorporated all of this amazing
stuff like quotes and everything that has to do with the characters, and things that mean so much
to us as the characters. And he just worked with us nonstop to try to make the most amazing thing
for you guys, and I’m so proud of it and so happy. LIAM: It’s farkin’ beautiful. LAURA: And we have this amazing gold emblem in the
bottom. I don’t know if you can tell, but it’s like extra shiny and fancy. It’s a special Vex.
And the paper’s really heavy, and so it’s super, super special. So– ASHLEY: It feels like it was– like it’s a
one-of-a-kind watercolor. Like that’s what it– up close, it’s crazy. LAURA: It looks like he painted it on the page. SAM: 400 thread count. (laughter) MATT: And we’re only selling the one. LAURA: Venetian silk. LIAM: Also, like our shirts that you can’t tell
how soft they are until you’re wearing them, like the Joe Mad poster that was so beautiful but until
you saw it in person you didn’t get it. This thing in person is unbelievable. LAURA: So yeah. This will be available for one
month and one month only in the Geek and Sundry store starting today. And then after that, it is
gone. And we’re doing the same thing that we did last time, which is also offering a limited
edition signed version, so if you guys want to check that out, that’s only available for three
weeks so we can try to get as many signatures before Ashley has to leave. ASHLEY: Sorry. TRAVIS: (sings) Sorry. LAURA: So yeah, three weeks from today you can get
the autographed. Starting today, only for three weeks, and then it’s gone forever from the store. TRAVIS: We already got copies, right? LAURA: We already have copies, yeah. ASHLEY: I love it so much. LAURA: Thank you David. Thank you for being
amazing. We love you. TRAVIS: Yeah, it’s so nice. MATT: Thank you, David. Really appreciate it, man.
Awesome. And what else you guys got? MARISHA: So, The Slayer’s Cake– the members of
The Slayer’s Cake– Yes, have a new product they have just released. SAM: Is it a baked good of some sort? MARISHA: Well… LAURA: We should show them. MARISHA: I think, you know, they worked so hard on
making a commercial, so we should let them– LAURA: We should let them talk about it. MARISHA: So here is a commercial from The Slayer’s
Cake. SAM: Oh, hello there. I’m Taryon Darrington of The
Slayer’s Cake. The Slayer’s Cake, your pals in a pastry pinch. Go now? Okay. (clears throat)
Heading to a fancy banquet and not sure if your hosts are undead? (gasps) Slayer’s Cake. Say it’s
Winter’s Crest, and you don’t know what to get your secret Sarenrae. Possibly because you’ve
never given a gift before. It could happen. Slayer’s Cake! We even have miniature cakes for
that special gnome-one in your life. LAURA: Those are cupcakes, Tary! SAM: Oh, okay, well, I mean, mm! But hey, if I
still haven’t convinced you, don’t take my word for it! Are we still– LAURA: Mm, delicious. ASHLEY: Wow, so light, and I would know, I’m a
cleric. Er, what? SAM: So come on down to the Slayer’s Cake, located
in downtown Whitestone. Look for the big unsanitary bear. You can’t miss it! And don’t
forget, don’t step in bear shit! MARISHA: Bumper VO. The Slayer’s Cake, open till
6PM, 7 on weekends. Closed Thursdays for adventuring. Slayer’s Cake aprons available now.
What? We have aprons? Tary, you didn’t tell me we have aprons! (cheering) LAURA: Wait, wait, can you see me? There it is! So
we had the aprons made, which we’re so excited about. I didn’t do it, Ben did it, and he’s
amazing. Ben did this! He made cupcakes with the Slayer’s Cake logo for us for the 100th episode.
We can eat them! So I’m passing them around. ASHLEY: What if we save them forever? LAURA: I’m just so excited about this, you guys! I
kind of just wanted to get the apron made so I could personally have it. MARISHA: I know, I know! TRAVIS: She’s not lying. She wanted to have the
apron. TALIESIN: Oh! Cupcake down! MARISHA: It’s fine, it’s fine. Don’t worry about
it. I’m taking that one. LAURA: I don’t know if I want to wear this the
whole episode. I might. I’m going to hang out. Oh yeah, save a cupcake for Jon. Wait, Matthew! TALIESIN: Matt, Matt! MATT: I don’t want any of your shit! Don’t want
it! Brian, eat it. I don’t want it. Don’t! I have things to do! MARISHA: Give it to Heder, give it to Heder! TALIESIN: Heder’s got one. MATT: All righty, so, thank you very much for
those announcements, guys. Other cool things coming up. Our fine friends at Wyrmwood, we have
an awesome spot to show during the break today, showing some of their awesome craftsmanship and
their partnership, showing off their products as well. There’s an amazing giveaway at the mid-break
that we’ll show you guys when we get there, so stick around for the mid-break when we get to that
point to see the process of what they do and how they do it and all the awesome things they produce
there. You can find their stuff, by the way, at wyrmwoodgaming.com/criticalrole for free domestic
shipping with the promo code– Liam? LIAM: Yes! MATT: What’s the promo code? LIAM: Oh. Uh, I don’t have any of the shit in
front of me! Critrole? Is it Critrole now? It’s Critrole again? It’s back? SAM: Wyrmwood’s has always been Critrole, hasn’t
it? LIAM: Critrole. LAURA: It’s hard to remember because it’s been
such a long time since you said it. LIAM: No one told me. MATT: That’s okay. Anyway, thank you very much.
Looking forward to that at the break. Also, those asking about campaign guide information, for the
Tal’dorei campaign guide. All that is up on the Green Ronin website. You can go there, go ahead
and find out when it’s coming out, how to find it, all that fun stuff, and I hope you like it. Soon,
I guess. Also, we have an awesome infographic up on social media and the website, put together from
our friends at CritRoleStats, Andrew and all you awesome guys. So they’re awesome, go check that
out, a lot of fun trivia elements about how long we’ve been running the show, and apparently
how many nonexistent characters live in my brain. We’re in the 500s. LIAM: It’s just the tip of the iceberg, Matt. MATT: That has to be certifiable on some level. LIAM: Campaign four, I’m waiting for it. MATT: Give it time, I’m sure. SAM: Matt, that soda pop looks like you’re
drinking it out of a wine glass. MATT: We are running out of receptacles for soda
pop, Sam. SAM: Okay. MATT: Also, I’m going to be at A-Kon tomorrow. Fly
out in the morning to Texas. So, looking forward to seeing you guys in Dallas. LAURA: What were you thinking? MATT: I agreed to this a long time ago! And it
all just coordinated. LIAM: Freakin’ Willy Loman, man. ASHLEY: Do you at least have a late flight? MATT: No. TRAVIS: Does it start with an ‘AM’? MATT: Yes. LIAM: Take a break. Run away upstate, for the
summertime. TRAVIS: Take a break! Sing it, Liam. LIAM: Take a break! MATT: Nonstop. SAM: Halfway through announcements. LAURA: Our infographic is no longer valid! MARISHA: Completely outdated, immediately. MATT: That’s okay, it was nice while it lasted. So
see you guys at A-Kon in Dallas, Texas. Talks Machina, always live, Tuesdays, 7PM Pacific time
on Twitch and Alpha. Talk about this crazy episode next week. Hosted by the fantastic Brian Wayne
Foster. Thank you for eating my cupcake. Still, surprisingly. All right, Signal Boost, new
episode, with? MARISHA: Jeff Lewis. Everyone knows him and loves
him from the Guild. Check it out. MATT: Or as Waluigi in “There Will Be Brawl.” MARISHA: Or as Waluigi. He’s been so many things.
Everyone knows who Jeff Lewis is. Go watch it. MATT: There you go. And we have some other cool
announcements coming up in the coming weeks, so keep an eye out and an ear out for each episode.
We’ll have a few more fun things that we can announce as the month goes on. So, that, I
believe, will bring us to — LIAM: Well, I have a little thing, I just have to
share this. Friend of the show, Kiki– not our Kiki, the other Kiki who’s made so many vestiges–
brought me a little something today. (laughing) LIAM: There it is. Got to lose those. Oh yeah. LAURA: No, no, no, maybe Vax needs glasses to see
in the dark. LIAM: Maybe he does! Maybe he does. Look at my
shoulders! I’m like Travis Willingham! Is this what it feels like, Travis? TRAVIS: Yeah, I have to put them on under each
shirt. It’s a real bitch. LIAM: Man, I’ve been Crossfitting all day! That’s
like stitching knitwear, right? Crossfitting all day. LAURA: Ah, you’re hitting me with your shoulders. LIAM: Cacaw! LAURA: That’s amazing. LIAM: Thank you, Kiki. Thank you. Oh my god. LAURA: You’re phenomenal! LIAM: This will sit in my office and scare my
children. Yeah. MATT: Appreciate it, Medhiv. All right, guys. We
ready? Let’s dive in now to tonight’s episode of
Critical Role. [dramatic music] MATT: Welcome back, everyone. So. You all right,
Jon? TALIESIN: He’s jacking in. SAM: He’s jacking in. MATT: And the lava’s connected. Welcome back, Jon!
Glad you could join us again. (cheering) MATT: All righty. So, picking up where we left off
last time, Vox Machina had just completed their adventure in the distant countryside of Wildmount,
interfacing with the Darrington family and apparently their long-acquired debt with the
Myriad, a criminal syndicate on that side of the world. After making a deal that would salvage
elements of the Darrington family, you made your way back and encountered a half-orc bardbarian by
the way of Lionel, who was there on behest of his boss, Aes Adon, or, as you were immediately
referred to as, the Meat Man. Immediately. You were brought to a nearby tavern in Whitestone
where the vicinity had been rented out entirely and you met with a large, intimidating-looking
gentleman. Scarred, pockmarked, ready to go ahead and wheel and deal some business with you. After
some interesting conversation and some sly insights by Vex’ahlia and Keyleth, it was
discovered that the Meat Man was indeed your old compatriot Scanlan under an illusion, to attempt
to notify you that he’d discovered something quite dangerous on his side of Exandria. You discovered
that this fantastic bardbarian Lionel had been working for him under his Meat Man guise in
Ank’Harel for the better part of a year, and while set on a mission with a number of other
compatriots of his, Lionel had stumbled upon an area called the Smouldercrown, a mountain range not
terribly far from Ank’harel, what seemed to be a cavern structure that led to an underground
pyramid, similar to the ziggurat that you guys had been keeping an eye on underneath Whitestone,
which also contained its own small black spherical orb in which they were feeding magical items
towards, it looked like. However, they were discovered in that tunnel and Lionel was the only
one to escape with his life. The rest fell behind and were left for dead. Upon notifying Scanlan, or
the Meat Man, of this information, he knew it was pertinent to return and get this to you in
person. After which, apologies were made; some were accepted, some were not. But it was generally
decided by the team that, based on this information, you needed to make your way to
Ank’Harel post-haste and discover what exactly resides beneath the mountains of the Smouldercrown.
You gathered up the following moment, well rested, all met up at the base of the Sun Tree in the
center of the square, and that’s where we left off. So, as you’ve gathered your materials, your
weapons, your armor, what you think you may need for this trek, you’ve all gathered around the base
of the Sun Tree. Some shade has been thrown, but you have gathered. So, what do you wish to do? SAM: We’ve gone through the Sun Tree or not? LAURA: No, we’re right outside the Sun Tree, just
before we’ve left Whitestone. TALIESIN: I just want to make a point that I’ve
alerted everybody in the government– everybody reasonable– where we’re going, why we’re going,
and that there should be people watching the Ziggurat underneath Whitestone 24/7 while we’re on
this mission. Anything happens, be prepared for anything. LAURA: You’re so brilliant, darling. MARISHA: I don’t understand. There’s not a lot of
shade. It’s noon. TALIESIN: We’ve been throwing it, it’s not here. LIAM: Thrown from a distance. LAURA: I think we should probably head out. MARISHA: Yeah, yeah. Where in Ank’harel? LAURA: Where are we going, Scanlan, again? Shadowy
Mountain? MARISHA: Do I know anyplace that’s near? MATT: You’ve been to Ank’harel, you’ve been around
quite a bit, and you’ve seen a number of trees. The city itself, within the walls, through magical
means or otherwise, there is an interior oasis within the city itself. There is the sand and dust
that blows in from the outside desert that surrounds it in Marquet, but there are a number of
ponds and rivers and large palm trees and other types of trees that are risen. There are small
clusters that form almost minute forests throughout the city, whether they be a park to
wander through or a means of harvesting whatever the trees have to offer for the people that live
there. But you’ve seen a number of trees and it’s easy enough to make your way there. MARISHA: Okay. I’ll do the oasis. MATT: Okay. As Keyleth reaches out, Lionel, you
watch as the small half-elf red-headed girl reaches out and touches the tree, and suddenly the
trunk splits open at the base, and you watch as what seems to be a glowing doorway of divine
energy appears. MARISHA: Go, go! Six seconds, go! Go, go! TALIESIN: I help shove. SAM: I should note that Doty is coming with us as
well. LIAM: Hey, quickly! LAURA: Sure, I’ll note that Trinket is coming as
well, even though it’s a fucking given. LIAM: I shove my sister through the tree. TRAVIS: Warming up. LAURA: I mean, just kidding, I love you Tary. LIAM: You’re not here, I just shoved you through
the tree. I made it up, I created it, right there on the fly. TRAVIS: We all go through the tree, yeah? ALL: Yeah! MATT: After an incredibly long, well-stretched six
seconds, you all eventually make your way through the doorway into the center of Ank’harel. The
temperature difference is stark, it’s immediate. Whereas you had a gradual transition to Ank’harel
last time you were there, going from the Whitestone colder, more damp climate to the
immediate dry heat of the central Marquet desert is just immediate, it’s uncomfortable– it may be
comfortable for some of you– and your mouth immediately dries out for a moment, and you have
to adjust to the new atmosphere. Looking around you, you’ve emerged from the outside of one of the
central oases, which is kind of near the Lux Run where you originally entered the city. There, you
see the streets are bustling and busy. It’s starting to get closer to later in the evening
now, on this part of Exandria. You can see the sky’s starting to get a little darker. There’s an
element of dusk that will probably be setting in about an hour. But here you are. LAURA: Well, Scanlan? JON: Why didn’t we do this before? It’s so much
faster! Why did we take a 500-day journey? SAM: It was just ten days, first of all. JON: Again, I don’t get days. Why don’t we just
make that tree open up? SAM: I am very powerful, but there’s some things
that I can’t do, all right? Ever since you found out I was short, you’re much snappier and snippier
with me. JON: You’re just much smaller, I mean, I didn’t
realize. Why don’t you just go back to looking like Aes? SAM: Maybe I should. TRAVIS: Maybe you should. SAM: Yeah, because I’m known around these parts,
so that would probably be better. LAURA: Does Aes wear this stupid headband? Because
it’s really fucking distracting. JON: What headband? MATT: Perfect. SAM: I’ll put on the hat and become the Meat Man. MATT: So you step off to the side to a point where
you’re not being noticed and take on, once again, the illusory facade of the Meat Man. Stepping out
into the sunlight once more, you see the imposing figure of the Meat Man now amongst you. LAURA: You’re so scary and big. Do you have a
place that you always stay? SAM: I have many places. LAURA: That’s what I figured. LIAM: I try sticking my fingers through the fake
head a little bit. SAM: Get off! Get off! Stop it! JON: No wonder you said hands off! LAURA: You didn’t touch him this entire year? JON: He always said hands off. No matter how many
times I tried. ASHLEY: You never went to brothels or anything
like that then, I guess. TALIESIN: Probably not together. MARISHA: Have you been hugged in a year? Has
anyone given you a hug? I give him a hug. JON: Are you trying to go through me to him? MARISHA: No, I’m just giving you a hug! JON: That gives me, like, 50 extra attack points
or something, right? I feel like something cool when someone hugs me. MARISHA: Can I use my Inspiring Leader feat? MATT: If you would like to take a moment to give
everyone hugs as part of your Inspiring Leader, sure. MARISHA: You know what, guys? SAM: Oh, she’s speeching. MARISHA: Human contact’s important, you know? So
come on, come on, let’s all group hug! Group hug! TALIESIN: No! No! JON: Can I hug everybody else? SAM: The Meat Man does not hug. TRAVIS: This is a ten-minute huddle? MATT: It’s a ten-minute, like, hug it out. LAURA: Ten minutes is so awkward! MATT: I know! And not in Keyleth’s bailiwick at
all! TRAVIS: Are we attracting any awkward looks? LAURA: I feel like I would have abstained from the
ten-minute group hug. TALIESIN: I would have brought you into it. MARISHA: I keep trying to grab Vex. Come on! Come
on, hug it out! MATT: So, you brought Scanlan and Tary for this. SAM: Yes. MATT: Are they both? SAM: Scanlan stepped out. Tary’s in. MATT: So everyone except for Scanlan gets 17
temporary hit points. LAURA: Thanks, Kiki! No, no, no, Percy brought me
in. MARISHA: Brought her out of her comfort bubble. MATT: As you all slowly begin to realize the
slight display you’ve given in the center of the town, especially those of you in your darker,
heavier leathers amongst this very warm, open air. LAURA: Oh, I thought we knew we were going to
Ank’harel so we dressed for it. That’s what we said the last episode. MATT: Did you? LAURA: That’s whatyousaid, actually. You said
“you all showed up dressed for Ank’harel.” LIAM: My armor is fire set. MATT: Okay, I’ll trust you on that. LAURA: I feel like you said it? MATT: You would’ve, it’s fine. But it’s less the
attire. You’re still wearing your armor, I assume. LAURA: Yes, yes, yes. MATT: So, you’re still in heavy leathers. LIAM: Yeah, we’re just doing the whole Lawrence of
Arabia. MATT: So you’re still a display of people in
heavy leather hugging for ten minutes in the middle of this open thoroughfare. LIAM: Yeah, we’re still very awkward. At all
times. MATT: So it’s not like all of a sudden there’s a
crowd gathered around you. But occasionally there’s a few merchants across the way that are
like, “So, anyway, as I was saying…” LIAM: Bidet! LAURA: Be pleased! MATT: “Be pleased.” TRAVIS: You guys are all saying it wrong. I don’t
know why. Vax can pick it up, it’s not that hard. LIAM: I am very smart. LAURA: Where do we go? SAM: Come with me. MATT: You watch as the Meat Man leads you down
four or five different streets, dodging through a couple of alleyways and off onto the
southern-eastern side of Ank’harel. There is a modest-looking tobacco shop that is in a poorer
district, it’s a little run-down. Run-down compared to a lot of Ank’harel, which is pretty colorful
and very well-kept. So, it’s pretty decent, average fare for Emon, considered the poorer side
of Ank’harel. But you– (laughs) SAM: Was that a fart? MATT: It’s one of the various beasts of burden
that you’re walking past in the streets of Ank’harel. (fart sound) LAURA: That was awesome. MATT: To be fair, sometimes the Slayer’s Cakes get
a little… LIAM: They’re rich. LAURA: We’re working out the ingredients. MATT: Adventurers can’t get it right all the time.
So you come to this modest tobacco shop. As you lead them into the interior, one of your
employees, Doran, who is a rather scrawny-looking boy maybe of 22, 23, completely shaved head,
tanned skin, a little sallow, but he’s sitting there, balancing a long, thin, almost like a
railroad-spike-type metal rod. He’s just kind of balancing it over the wood, and as soon as the
door opens, he fumbles. “Ah. Aes. It is a pleasure to have you back.” SAM: How are things in my absence? MATT: “They have been well. You’ve only been gone
for a few hours, but they’ve been uneventful.” SAM: Oh, yes, yes, that’s right, yes. Any new
reports of the hooded people? MATT: “None within the town, not since last– oh,
hi, Lionel!” JON: Hey, what’s up? MATT: “It’s good to see you. Anyway.” (laughter) JON: You want a hug? It makes you, like,
super-strong. MATT: “Really?” JON: Yeah. At least, that’s what I– SAM: No fraternizing. MATT: “But anyway.” And he reaches down and pulls
a small wooden lever, and it’s like you see he’s having to struggle with it. And as he does so, you
hear the scraping of wood, and a chain-winch going. You watch as one of the small furrows in
the back corner slowly lifts up and reveals a narrow staircase that leads down into a
subterranean area. LIAM: This is kind of cool. JON: It’s really awesome. You guys should– we
should go. This is like our cool hideout. MARISHA: What was the guy’s name again? MATT: Doran. MARISHA: Doran. TRAVIS: Doran, you known Aes long? MATT: “For a number of months, yes.” TRAVIS: Yeah. Good guy? MATT: “We don’t converse often, but he pays well,
and the work is– the work is very rewarding.” TRAVIS: Right. Does he have a firm handshake? MATT: (stammers) TRAVIS: You should find out. Yeah, no, shake his
hand. No, go ahead, right now. MATT: “I do not presume to want to– I mean,
unless you would want to?” SAM: No. MATT: “Okay, yes, I am sorry, I do not mean to–” TRAVIS: In his custom, ‘no’ means ‘yes, I crave it
deeply’. MATT: Make a deception check. TALIESIN: Your voice got really high during that. TRAVIS: Oh, shit. LAURA: What’d you roll? What’d you roll? TRAVIS: 19. MATT: 19. (laughs) “Uh. I mean, if you–” TRAVIS: Known him for years. Really. SAM: I will just walk by him and go down into the
hidey-hole. MATT: Okay. “I think you have some incorrect
intel, my friend.” TRAVIS: No, I think you’re probably gonna need a
new job pretty soon. That was a diss. It’s all right. Just look elsewhere. That’s all I’m
saying. MATT: He sits back on his stool and takes his
little rod and jams it into the wood and huffs as you guys all make your way down there. Which, both
Lionel and Grog, you guys have to cannonball up real tight to make it through the corridor. You
drag your way through by pulling on the little bits of wood and earth that mark the exterior
walls of this descending staircase. The smell is musty. It’s not damp, but you can sense that there
is a smell of tobacco. You thought, oh, this tobacco shop’s a front. As you go down, you see
about ten feet down there is a large storage room that contains barrels of dried tobacco of all
sorts, and has a very rich, pungent, but also like a nice spice scent to it in places. Spice. Ah! You
lead them on down to the far end of the hallway. There is another door that is locked. You pull out
a set of keys, unlock it, open it. It leads down another hallway, and then eventually what looks to be
some smaller sets of barracks rooms. You see a few doors that are ajar and empty with some beds
inside. You lead down another 20 or so feet to another chamber. And as it opens up, inside, you
can see there are three tables arranged in a triangular pattern, and at the far end of the
table, there is a single– what looks like a throne-like chair. It’s very well-crafted. It’s
gold-leafed in places, it has intricate scrolling on the sides and where the armrests are, and there
you see an individual with a hooded cloak and a deep, bluish-purple color with what looks like a
red crimson slash design around the back, a number of jewelry, and they’re facing away, speaking
towards the chair, for there on the chair sits an identical large, looming human male with long,
dark hair and mustache, pockmarked skin, and is mid-conversation. LAURA: You guys really should plan this out
better. SAM: Bit of warning. Don’t use her name. All
right, so I’ll just walk up to them. MATT: You walk up to the two of them? SAM: Yeah, sure. MATT: All right. The cloaked figure is in the
middle of conversation, and speaking Marquesian, which you understand, to the effect of, “We’ve been
looking, and apparently all the shipments have “been diverted and held off until–” And hears the
footsteps and turns over and sees you. “Oh.” (confused sounds) LAURA: (clears throat) Twins. Funny. LIAM: What are the odds? MATT: Deception check. LAURA: Motherfuck. Oh, you know, like 11. MATT: “I, um.” Begins to pull a small blade out to
the side. “I am under the impression that perhaps “one of you is a doppelganger, and whoever my boss
is, would you please raise your hand?” SAM: I do not raise my hand. MATT: The other one does. “Aes, what do we do?”
And puts the blade forward, and you watch as the other Meat Man on the throne just says, “We do
nothing. I know this man, and we will do our “business. Tell no one what you saw here, but if
two more leave, I have been taken by its will and “you’ll have to kill us both. I’m just kidding,
that’s a complete joke. But no, seriously, you “really– go, go.” And the– JON: Should I go kill him? SAM: No, no. MATT: The person with the cloak kind of– JON: It’s fine, I won’t kill you. MATT: “Thank you. Be pleased.” And darts out of
the room real fast. The other Meat Man on the throne goes, “Oh, Verath, I’m gonna work real hard
to try and convince him other of that.” SAM: Sorry about that. MATT: (clears throat) “It is all right.” LAURA: Good to see you again. MATT: “Good to see you as well. You all look…
spry. You look alive.” SAM: Is anyone in the room, now, Matt, besides– MATT: Besides you guys? No, it’s just you guys and
Lionel. SAM: All right, so. We can drop all of the
illusions. They all know what’s going on now. MATT: Looks earnestly at Lionel. SAM: Even Chod. JON: Lionel. MATT: “Aye, very well.” And you watch as the Meat
Man on the throne suddenly diminishes into a smaller, gnome figure as well, only female, with
short, almost buzzed sides of her dark brunette hair that poofs into a curl there. You can see
she’s also much tanner than you remember. She is wearing what looks to be a leather tunic that’s
straining against her rather large muscles for a small gnome, it looks like she’s been making sure
that nobody messes with her while she’s in the city. LAURA: Shit. Is she buff now? MATT: She’s pretty buff. LAURA: Shit. MARISHA: You got a haircut! I love it. MATT: “You know. The hot weather around here is a
bit of a bitch this time of the year, so best to “get it taken care of. Anyway. What the fuck are
you all doing here?” SAM: I went to get them to tell them about the
thing that we found. MATT: “Right, okay. Great.” SAM: I was going to escort them there. Do you
think you have things handled if we go for a day? MATT: “Oh, that’s fine, I’ve only been dealing
with this for the past two and half weeks without “you just fine, no one’s noticed, until you came up
inside looking the same as me. That’s great!” SAM: Sorry, I didn’t know you were throning. MARISHA: ‘Throning’. TRAVIS: Yeah, is that a thing? SAM: Well, when we’re in command, yeah. MATT: “It’s not called throning, don’t listen to
him.” LAURA: How long have you been here? MATT: “Been here? Ank’harel? I’ve lost track of
time. Better part of maybe eight months, nine months?” TRAVIS: We’ve heard you’ve risen through the ranks.
Very successful, you are. MATT: “Not too bad, if I do say so myself.” TRAVIS: Well done. MATT: “This one’s almost ruined us a few times.” TRAVIS: That’s not surprising. LIAM: How are things with the old man? MATT: “They’re fine. Talks about you lot an awful
lot.” LIAM: Oh, really? SAM: Not true, not true. ASHLEY: Did you have a good year together? Sort
of, I guess. That was the last time we saw you. Have things been good? MATT: She pats the side of her coin purse, which
you can see is rather thick and makes a heavy (clinking) of clinking coin. “Not been too bad, if
I say so myself. More than I ever made playing violin.” TALIESIN: Profit suits you well. MARISHA: I don’t know if she was referring to
monetary wealth, but sure. TRAVIS: Well, if you can’t have an earnest
relationship with someone, at least she’s got money. TALIESIN: It’s also very hard to put an earnest
relationship in a coin purse. MATT: “Anyway. So. What can I do for you, or have
you just come by to say hi?” SAM: No, I didn’t, I came to make sure you were
all right, and is everything all right? Have we heard of any other attacks or incidents? MATT: “None yet, before you came in and rudely
interrupted my update from Verath over there, but “it seems that there hasn’t been any more activity.
All the hooded ones we’ve seen have all absconded “over towards the mountain range again.” TALIESIN: Hooded ones? SAM: Yeah, the ones in the mountain, in the cave.
What about buyers? Have we had any new interest? MATT: “No, not too bad. Carthol’s been working
around the clock. I believe he’s working on a new “game set. Something ivory and Issylrian in nature.
Supposed to go for a pretty penny, if we take it “across over up on Wildmount, but it’ll take a
little longer to make it. You know, one-man job. “He’s good. He’s not that good.” SAM: Just remind him to put some imperfections in
it. He always likes to make things too beautiful. MATT: “I will, I will.” LAURA: Why don’t you want to sell beautiful
things? SAM: We want to sell real things, not things that
look like they’re brand-new. If things are really old, they have dents and scuffs on them. JON: Wait, so you’re lying again. MATT: “Modifying the presentation.” JON: I don’t know who to trust anymore. SAM: You should trust me because I pay you. MATT: “I don’t know. Looks like he might be
growing up.” (laughter) JON: I have been eating more. MATT: “Oh, I can tell that.” (laughs) She sets off
the throne and comes up and leaps and smacks you on the shoulder. Pretty good hit. JON: That’s awesome! MATT: “I know. Anyway.” SAM: All right, so we’ll be gone– we’ve rested
recently, right? MATT: Yeah, the night before. SAM: So we’ll be going for a while, and just hold
down the fort while we’re gone. Also, I know it sounds stupid, but can you look into getting a few
ducks? Just as pets? MATT: “Sure.” SAM: Yeah, I know. It’s just a thank-you. MATT: “Ducks.” SAM: Yes. JON: They have awesome information. MATT: “Right, okay. Ducks it is. I’ll get right to
it. I’ll talk to my duck distributor.” SAM: Just ask, just ask us and that would be fine,
too. JON: Yeah, but ducks will know things that you
don’t! MATT: “I’ll send some word to the Fowl District of
Ank’harel to provide the proper–” MARISHA: There’s a fowl district? MATT: “No, there’s not a fowl district! I’m
fucking with you.” SAM: You should always assume she’s fucking with
you. Every time. MATT: “You traveled with this one long enough.
Figure it out.” LIAM: Wonder where she gets it from? MATT: “Don’t you say a goddamn thing or I’ll cut
your tongue out.” LIAM: Promises, promises. MATT: “All right. Go about your business. I’ve got
it here. Don’t die. Any of you. Especially you. “I’ve got ducks coming for you, don’t know what to
do if you don’t show up back here to pick ’em up.” JON: I won’t die. MATT: “Good. Don’t.” SAM: If he does, we’ll just eat the ducks. MATT: “I don’t care, then. Ducks are pretty
tasty.” JON: They’ll tell you where to bury me. (laughter) JON: They know all the proper spots. SAM: Sure. Okay. MATT: “All right, then, shoo. Night’s about to
come. You can travel over the cool evening air.” SAM: Do any of you need any supplies or anything
before we go? Are we good to travel on foot?” LAURA: What kind of potions you got available?
Healing potions? SAM: Healing potions? I can heal with my words.
Why would I need healing potions? LAURA: Just in case you run away. LIAM: Is that a no? ASHLEY: Just in case you decide to leave again,
which is probably highly probable. I don’t know. Just in case. SAM: No, I don’t have any of those. But it can be
arranged if you are short. I can have my second here look into it for you. LAURA: I have three regular healing potions and
that’s it. TALIESIN: Cleared out. LAURA: I think we’re pretty much out. SAM: Crutch, will you– JON: I have 375 grams. SAM: That’s gold. LAURA: You have 375 grams? JON: Gold, I guess. LAURA: Grams of gold? JON: They look the same. But I can buy lots of
potions with that, right? SAM: No, you cannot buy any. But the Crutch here
will look into it while we’re gone. We won’t have any until we get back, though. TRAVIS: He calls you the Crutch? MATT: “The Crutch is my work name. It’s what the
Meat Man calls me ’cause of my height.” LAURA: Oh. I see. TALIESIN: So it’s a name for when he’s ribbing
you. Ribbing. I’m just so excited by all the puns that are available. LAURA: So no healing, then? Let’s just go? SAM: No, we have to just go. MATT: “Hold on, hold on.” She walks over and
starts rummaging through a few small crates that are to the side. She’s like, “These haven’t been
organized properly.” Grabs a little crowbar and wedges it in. Pops off the top, starts rummaging
through, tossing various things out the side like small metal cups roll across the ground, come to a
stop. Pulls out a small, looks like a leather satchel of some kind that’s wrapped over the top
and the side with twine. Unwraps it. “There’s a “few something for you.” Sets it down. Pulls a
necklace off. “You’re borrowing this, but you’re “bringing it back when you’re done.” SAM: Of course. MATT: “All right. Now, which one of you but him
wants it?” JON: Oh, I do, I do! MATT: “Okay.” Throws it to you. JON: It’s really cool-looking. MATT: It’s a heavy, somewhat tarnished silver
chain that smells of old ale-stained wood. JON: Oh, I don’t like it, someone else take it. LAURA: No, no, no, I called it. LIAM: Give it to me, give it to me, I called it as
well! Dad, make us roll for it. JON: Why don’t you guys just cut it in half? LAURA: Tickle-tickle-tickle! MATT: Both of you guys make strength checks. LAURA: But I don’t wanna break it! Don’t pull so
hard that you break it! LIAM: Why would I do that? I have so much finesse.
That’s cocked. It was cocked, you say cocked eighty thousand times, and now I’m gonna use Luck,
because I wanna beat you. LAURA: You motherfuck! LIAM: Oh, it’s the same thing! So what is this,
strength? MATT: Strength, add the strength modifier. LIAM: I will. LAURA: Oh, no. LIAM: You go first. LAURA: Nine. LIAM: Oh, she beat me! (laughter) MATT: You rip the chain from his grip. LAURA: What did I get? What is it? MATT: “It’s an Amulet of the Drunkard.” LAURA: What’s that mean? MATT: “You wear that, you drink yourself some fine,
fine alcohol, might heal you a bit.” LAURA: Do you already wear a necklace? I already
wear a necklace, so I probably can’t wear it, huh? You can get up. It’s okay, you can go. You’ve got
30 feet! SAM: Jack off, jack off, jack off! MATT: The umbilical! There you go. MARISHA: You’re good, you’re good. TALIESIN: It turns spirits into potions. That’s
pretty solid. TRAVIS: Beer, ale, mead, or wine will cause you to
regain 2d4 + 2 hit points. LAURA: Oh jeez, that’s so cool. Do you already
wear a necklace, Grog? Do you have to attune to it? MATT: It is not attuned. But there is a limit to
it, if you read it. TRAVIS: Yeah, you can only once until the next
dawn. MATT: So once a day, you can just drink a pint of
some alcoholic drink, and it’ll heal you like a basic healing potion. TRAVIS: Fucking awesome. MARISHA: Who was out of healing potions? TALIESIN: I’m out. LAURA: I’ve got three for the party, it’s not for
me. I have none for myself. SAM: I know I’ve been rather quiet this journey,
but I could just provide us with a few more, if that would help things– TRAVIS: Tary, that is very considerate of you,
yeah. JON: Is this Taryon? SAM: Yeah, sorry, it’s odd for me. I will rip off
my last remaining potion patch on the robe, which has four small healing potions. MATT: There you go, so you have– and the satchel
that you received from the Crutch has three more additional regular healing potions. SAM: So we have seven regular healing potions. LAURA: Okay, okay, okay. So everybody take one? MARISHA: I have four on me. LAURA: Oh, jeez. Everybody but Keyleth take one? MARISHA: I made a few over the break, if we want
them. TALIESIN: Well, as long as I’ve gone one in
there. MARISHA: I’m gonna hand another one to Percy. TALIESIN: I’ll take two. LIAM: Hey, T., are you feeling sentimental, being
back in Marquet? SAM: The weather is certainly dry. LIAM: You’ve come full circle. SAM: Yes. I certainly have. It’s good to be back,
but I’m a little nervous. I don’t know why, really. LIAM: New setting. SAM: Yes. New dynamic. TRAVIS: Your hair’s holding up well in the heat,
though. SAM: Only because it’s under the Helm. Believe me,
it’s a nightmare in there if you look underneath. ASHLEY: I’m sure you look beautiful. LIAM: Does it retain the shape of the helmet? SAM: Unfortunately, yes. (laughter) LAURA: I’m just holding this necklace. I have a
necklace on, I can’t wear it. JON: I thought you were giving it to him. LAURA: Can you wear it? JON: To Gog over there. LIAM: No, I’m not wearing a necklace. LAURA: Well then, let me give it to you. LIAM: I didn’t actually want it. I just wanted to
best you. LAURA: Well, now you have it. TALIESIN: You can actually use it, though. LIAM: Can I have the thingie? TRAVIS: You’re not giving it to me? LAURA: I thought you said you already wore a
necklace! TRAVIS: No. No! I mean, I wear, like, ears and
fingers and toes around my neck, but you can always accessorize some more, fuck, shit! I’m the
only one that walks around with alcohol on me all the time, anyway. MARISHA: So wait, can he combo-use that and be
like fine wine and chug it? MATT: Any relatively alcoholic drink labeled on
the thing, he can drink a pint of. LIAM: A pint, though, Grog? A pint? You’d snort
that up your left nostril, right? TRAVIS: Yeah. It’s like a little traveler’s bottle
of soap. LIAM: Yeah, that’s like you sneezing into a
bottle. JON: Do you have an extra necklace that turns
chocolate milk into, like, healing? MATT: “I’ll put the word out for you. See what we
can find.” LAURA: Are we heading out immediately? SAM: There’s nothing to wait for. MARISHA: I actually do have a necklace. I have an
old necklace. SAM: What are we talking about now? JON: Everybody went from no potions to, well, I’ve
got this, I’ve got this. LAURA: I don’t know why I asked for potions when
we had four fucking potions. TALIESIN: It might be that thing that I got rid
of. MARISHA: I had an old card that was the necklace
that gave +1 to attack and damage while– SAM: That’s an attunement item. We don’t need that
shit. Let’s go. MARISHA: All right. Sorry your employer overruled
me, Kord. Or Card. Or Chode. LAURA: Lionel. MATT: “All right. Please. Out of my space.” And
you watch as her form shifts back to that of Aes Adan, the Meat Man. TRAVIS: That’s impressive. MATT: “Thank you. Treat that well. If you lose it,
I’m making you pay for it!” TRAVIS: Oh, no, it’s in good hands. MATT: “All right, then. Good luck! Don’t die.” LAURA: The Crutch. MATT: “I’m the Meat Man now.” TRAVIS: Yeah, she changed back. LAURA: Sorry, I was looking at necklaces. SAM: All right. On we go. TRAVIS: Yeah. We head back out the cramped little
tunnel. MATT: All right. Make your way back up through the
tobacco shop to the streets of Ank’harel. You are aware that the Smouldercrown mountain range is
about 290 miles southeast of Ank’harel across the desert. JON: You guys, it’s gonna be a really long hike,
so let’s find another burning tree, or Sun Tree or something that we can just walk into. ‘Cause that
was way easier than traveling. TALIESIN: Misty Step. LAURA: Not Misty Step. Wind Walk. TRAVIS: You can do the tree thing too? JON: No, I’ve never seen that. I can show you how
to get there, but it seems– TRAVIS: Have you ever tried? JON: Tried through the Sun Tree? What do I do? Do
I just– LAURA: You have to ask him. JON: I’m good at– okay. LIAM: Absolute conviction. JON: So I go over to the nearest tree. MATT: Okay. About maybe one block up, there’s– JON: About one block, guys, come on. Leading the
way. MATT: All right. Solid trunk palm. MARISHA: He likes it when you’re super chill and
casual with him, so be cool. JON: He? So the trees are like dudes? LAURA: All of them? MARISHA: (mouths) Just go with it. JON: He likes it when you’re what? TALIESIN: Chill and casual. JON: Oh. Okay. So I go up to the tree. Do I touch
it? You’re the tree. Hey, can you open up and take us to Crown– what was it? Smouldercrown entrance,
just ’cause. Wait, it would be way easier to just go straight to the pyramid. LIAM: Yeah, but it’s more like a stroking thing.
You don’t just leave your hand in place. JON: Okay, so hey, I’m chill. Can you just take
us? Be cool? TRAVIS: The bark’s a little dry. Maybe it needs a
little moisture. There you go. SAM: (screams) JON: So yeah, it’s cool, we’re cool, if you want
to take us there. If not, we get it. Is that pretty chill? MARISHA: That’s pretty chill, yeah. LAURA: I’m surprised it’s not working, honestly.
That’s the most chill I’ve ever seen. SAM: Why am I playing the tree? JON: Are you guys– MARISHA: You know that intimate hug we had
earlier? Kinda do that. JON: Aes? Now I’m talking to Aes. SAM: Oh, okay. Yes. JON: This reminds me of times when I was a kid and
kids would– are they making fun of me? SAM: They are definitely making fun of you. JON: Oh, come on! LIAM: What’re you telling him lies for? TALIESIN: We do this to everybody. It’s all
right. JON: You do? MARISHA: It’s part of the initiation. TALIESIN: But yes, we are making fun of you. JON: Sorry, tree. Wait, are the trees really
alive? LAURA: No, they are. JON: Okay, sorry, tree. But that was kinda fun,
stroking it. MARISHA: The tree appreciates it. JON: Anyways, why don’t you guys just do the Sun
Tree thing? SAM: We can’t really do that. We need to know
where the tree is that we’re going to be going to. LIAM: There’s a lot of tree science involved. MARISHA: If you could maybe potentially help me,
Meat Man. SAM: I haven’t been there, have I? MATT: You haven’t been to Smouldercrown, no. MARISHA: Why were you just talking like the Meat
Man? SAM: I have not been to the place we are going. I
do not know of any tree. MATT: Yeah, the only one who’s been there is
Lionel. MARISHA: You’ve been there. JON: Yeah, I’m the one who saw it and told you
guys about it. MARISHA: Were there trees? JON: Yeah, there were a couple dead-looking trees,
not huge ones. How big do they have to be? MARISHA: They looked dead? JON: They looked a little dead-ish. MARISHA: They were dead? Like very dead? JON: Do they have to be alive? MARISHA: I think so? Right? JON: I really wanted to see that Sun Tree thing. TRAVIS: We’ll use it to go back. MARISHA: Would you prefer to be a cloud? JON: I can be a cloud? MARISHA: I could be a cloud, but I’m gonna blow a
7th-level spell for it. LAURA: Wait, but how many people can you do,
because we also have Doty. MARISHA: Ten? Let me see. LIAM: Can you turn an automaton, a robit, into
cloud? Did we do that already? SAM: Not too many. We’re ten exactly. TRAVIS: Really? LAURA: Yeah, Trinket’s in the necklace. TRAVIS: Doty, Taryon, Scanlan. LAURA: Oh, shit. Taryon and Scanlan. SAM: That’s ten, isn’t it? ASHLEY: But that’s blowing a 7th-level spell. How
long does it take to hike up there? SAM: 290 miles. MATT: Wind Walk is a 6th-level spell. Not a 7th. MARISHA: But I’ve already used my 6th-level spell
to Transport Via Plants. That’s what I’m saying. So I’m gonna have to use a 7th-level spell to do
it. MATT: This is true. TRAVIS: It’s worth it. LIAM: Does that work on Doty? MATT: So you’d be able to get all of you. TALIESIN: Would it work on Doty? MATT: Willing creatures. Technically he’s
considered a creature for the targeting reason of spells and effects, so yeah. LIAM: Tary. MARISHA: So we can do that, but then we might
wanna rest. Or we can do some scouting, take a look. I won’t be completely tapped out. LIAM: We can camp it up if we need to. TALIESIN: It’ll take more than a day to get there
anyway, so this way we’ll just save some time and we’ll take a day to take a look around. LAURA: Let’s go! LIAM: Lionel, this is really awesome. For real,
you’re going to like this. MARISHA: Ready? Ready? Everybody join hands, join
hands, join hands. LAURA: Do we have to join hands for this? SAM: We don’t at all. Not at all. JON: Can we still do it? MARISHA: Poof! MATT: All right, you guys feel a warm, magical
effect go through you. As you’re concentrating, consider yourself being a cloud, you are the
cloud. You open your eyes, Lionel, and you look, and you are a fucking cloud! You’re like 20 feet
up! JON: Oh, check this out! (spits) MATT: As you do that, you watch as more cloud spit
goes (fft) and just more cloud. Your body is moisture. When you try and talk, it just goes
(exhale). JON: So you can’t really talk. MATT: Can’t really talk. You’re a cloud. So if you
wanted to, you could spend a minute to concentrate and revert back, and you can do that– you have an
eight-hour period where you can just turn back and forth. LAURA: We should probably concentrate for just a
minute. I’m gonna turn back, just so I can shout out, we should all follow– you know how to get
there, right, Lionel? JON: (wind noises) LAURA: Bob up and down if it’s a yes. Okay. We’re
going to follow you, all right? And when it’s ready to land, then just hover down, and we’ll all
follow your lead. JON: (fart sound) (laughter) LAURA: That’s totally normal. We all do it. All
right. MATT: All right. So you all go into your mist
forms and begin to follow after Lionel’s lead. As you guys coast over the upper areas of Ank’harel,
it’s a beautiful view looking down at this gorgeous city, just this glittering jewel of color
and architecture, one of the older cities in Exandria that portions of it seem to have survived
elements of the Age of Arcanum and the Calamity, and one of the first societies to spring up
thereafter. And it’s beautiful to see this history, far longer than that of Tal’Dorei, or at
least the human societies of Tal’Dorei, just standing obstinate against the dark oppression of
the surrounding desert. You continue to head in that direction, with you leading. Lionel, I need
you to roll a survival check. LAURA: Survival check. We might get lost? TALIESIN: Add that to your survival. JON: 14. MATT: 14. All right. So you’re traveling at an
incredible speed. Like you’re used to walking speed, running speed sometimes, maybe horsey
speed. This is a very, very fast speed. You’re coasting through the air right as the sun begins
to set, and the night begins to hit. You keep relatively low to the ground, so you have your
Darkvision to see the topography and get an idea of where it’s going and the direction. You can
look up and see the stars above. You’ve traveled, and you’ve been amongst this desert most of your
life, so you have a good sense of how to follow that, and because of that, you’re able to maintain
your directional position towards the Smouldercrown Mountains. You push on. About
halfway through the journey, you can see some little flames occasionally in the distance, what
looks to be either caravan camps or bandit camps or various nomad circles that are set up for the
night where different campfires are placed, whether it’s beacons, traps, or just people to
stay warm for the evening. You know, best not to stop whenever you see a flame in the middle of the
desert. The winds are picking up and getting colder, the stark contrast between the temperature
of the day and the night here is immense, and your moisture form takes on the cold fairly quickly,
and you feel, even though you’re in this form, the chill still captures you a bit as your
condensation begins to slightly crystallize in places, but you push on. Roll one more survival
check, please. LAURA: Don’t get us lost! JON: 15. MATT: 15. And without an issue or any sort of a
loss of step or position, eventually you watch as the ominous spire-like jagged dagger-topped
Smouldercrown Mountains begin to break the horizon and make their way towards you. You’re now, at
that speed, it hasn’t been that long since you left, maybe a few hours out of Ank’harel. So
you’re maybe around ten o’clock in the evening or so, 10:30. Going to go ahead and move over here to
a non– TALIESIN: I was gonna argue that since he has the
Duck Totem, that technically he would have a natural migration sense of what direction he was
gonna go. MATT: That’s a good argument to make, but not
necessary, but good for holding on to that. TALIESIN: Yeah, just thought I’d put that out
there. I feel like his duck sense would be tingling. Always knows where South is. MATT: Not denying. Recognized, but unnecessary in
the moment. TALIESIN: Unnecessary, but worth noting. MATT: Worth noting, indeed. But yeah. So the
spires of the mountain are surprisingly steep. They’re steeple-like, almost, in a lot of places.
They’re all just jutting up like these gargantuan spikes that were pressed out of the earth from
some sort of landmass shift or some volcanic activity long, long ago. But you can see the
densely packed rock formations, and the mountain cluster is maybe, at most, I’ll say three miles,
four miles across. It’s not a very, very big mountain range. And it’s called Smouldercrown
because the circular pattern of the oval-like pattern of the mountains that rise up and
resembles at a distance like a king’s crown in the way that it circles around itself. You recall one
of three different entrances, the one that was safest that you guys took when you entered, the
central portion of the mountain range from the outside, and you guide the rest of them to the
exterior of this space. You can see it’s a small valley between two of the exterior mountains that
collide together, and there is a valley path, where you see a number of dried trees. Some do
appear to be alive, Keyleth, though they’re designed to weather extreme droughts. They seem to
have some sort of weird fruit that they’re bearing, dripping off some of the branches, but
the leaves themselves are brown and withered and you haven’t quite seen plant la-life– plant life
like this before. LAURA: Plant la-la-la. MATT: Plant la-va-la-fl. MARISHA: Does it look like it’s natural decay? MATT: If you want to go and approach it and
inspect it, you can. MARISHA: How far– we’re still clouds? MATT: You guys are maybe 100 feet up or so, and
you’ve just now hit the edge of the Smouldercrown mountain range. MARISHA: Starting to go into the entrance. MATT: Yes. The entrance of the mountains. You
haven’t found an entrance to the actual mountain rock itself. MARISHA: Are we going to go on foot from here? MATT: That’s up to you guys. TALIESIN: I think we’ll get a little closer. MARISHA: I’ll wait ’til we get closer. From up
here, does the mountain formation look like it’s naturally formed, or like some sort of other
event? Is it seismically formed? MATT: Make a nature check. MARISHA: Oh, not good. What’s my nature? Okay,
16. MATT: 16, not bad. They appear to be seismically
formed. You can see some of the rocks, the way they rise up in the smaller areas, are at an angle
where it’s smooth on one side, and you can see the layers beneath where portions of the earth seem to
have been jammed, cracked, and pushed upward. But because it’s so localized, it isn’t like there’s
tectonic plates shifting or anything, it’s not a mass range. Most mountain ranges are long, driven
locations that mark where those various boundaries are. This is just a central formation, so you’re
uncertain as to what the nature of this creation was, but it seems natural. LAURA: I’m picturing beautiful Bob Ross mountains.
Just lightly touch. MARISHA: Happy accidents. TALIESIN: Happy little TPK. MATT: Yeah. Percy, can I have you roll a
perception check, please? TALIESIN: Yes. I’m not gonna roll that, ’cause
you’ve been– I feel like that’s yours. It landed on other dice. I’m gonna let it be there, though.
Actually, yeah, it’s 20. MATT: Okay. You, Mr. Human, with no actual
Darkvision, do not get lost on the path. Taryon, could I have you also roll a perception check? SAM: 15 plus something. Minus one. 14. MATT: Okay, so you fall a little behind the
group. SAM: Doty has low-light vision, I think. MATT: Doty has Darkvision. We’ll say that Doty
manages to get you caught up a little bit. You fall a bit behind, but you do manage to find the
rest of the team. You don’t get terribly lost in the middle of the dark, desert sky of these small
wisps of cloud with no light other than starlight there to guide your path forward. They begin to
just pull ahead and vanish into the horizon. You freak out but Doty eventually finds you as a cloud
and you swear you hear the wind go, “Tary.” (laughter) MATT: You continue to push forward, eventually
leading into the outside of this entrance of Smouldercrown, where the rest of them have
gathered. You guys begin to slowly push into the valley that makes its way towards the center of
Smouldercrown, following Lionel’s leads. These trees that you notice, Keyleth, they’re sporadic
in places, and there is scrub brush, sparse, there are areas of the ground where it’s dried and
cracked. The badlands here, the sands of the deserts, the big storms largely don’t make it into
the center of the valley because the mountains protect it. While there are elements of it here
and there, you can see the topography and the landscape here is very dried,
cracked, red earth. Little moisture seems to be contained here. The plant life that exists here is
designed to subsist on very, very little water. You eventually come, Lionel, to the area where you
believe you found the last entrance. Make an investigation check, if you don’t mind. JON: 21. MATT: 21, okay then. You very quickly look around
and recall some of the landmarks. JON: I’m still in cloud form. MATT: You’re still in cloud form. But you see some
of the landmarks that seem to triangulate where you originally found the entrance. However, to
truly search in this area, you’d have to get low and probably go to your physical form to seek it
out. All right, so. You take a minute to concentrate and you revert back into your half-orc
form. LAURA: I go down and do it, too, ’cause he did
it. MATT: Okay. Everyone else joining him? ALL: Yes. MATT: All right, so the rest of the party goes,
and they take their physical form. (laughter) JON: That was awesome, guys. LAURA: Is this where it is? MATT: You’re able to see in the dark for a decent
amount. You walk the perimeter of this space where the first cavern was, and you feel around, and you
gather that there was a path here, but it looks like there’s been a small cave-in. A lot of the
rocks appear like they’ve been recently fallen in, and there’s some sort of a grade to them where you
watch loose rocks have recently been tossed around that are of a deeper-set red color and haven’t
been quite as weathered as the exterior of the mountain appears to be. So apparently the entrance
that you originally used either has collapsed on its own, or was intentionally shut. JON: I could’ve sworn it was right here, you guys.
I don’t know what’s with all these rocks. LAURA: It looks like it was caved in, actually. LIAM: This is 100% the spot? JON: Pretty sure. I mean, I don’t have the best
memory or knowledge or brains or really any skills, but I’m pretty sure this was it. LAURA: Don’t be so hard on yourself, Lionel. MARISHA: Does it look deliberate, or does it look
natural? MATT: Make an investigation check. JON: Well, it could be. I have an idea, you guys.
Let’s ask the ducks! LAURA: Are there ducks here? JON: There’s no ducks here? MARISHA: Natural 19 from Gil. 22. JON: We can see if there are if we Commune With
Ducks. MATT: The cave-in is not natural. The rocks you
can see, the portion of the archway where the natural mountain rock becomes the rockslide that
seems to have filled the space, there is no damage that seems to be seismic or quaked, and you can
see what appear to be some cleft sides at the edge of this entrance where it appears like elements of
it were actually hacked or damaged until it eventually fell in. LAURA: Are there any kind of tracks around, or
footfalls that look like it was recent? MATT: Roll a– for you, it would be a survival
check, ’cause you’re a tracker. LAURA: And it’s a mountain! TALIESIN: I honestly think they might have trapped
it. LAURA: I can roll that one again. LIAM: I’ll wait until she has looked, and then
I’ll take a look. LAURA: Yeah, that’s way better! 27! MATT: As you guys are having this moment, and you
get low to the ground and begin to read the patterns of the different rocks that have tumbled
and left small grooves and a little bit of dust and sand that does reside over this dark, caked
dirt and rock, and you do notice a number of footprints. They’re scattered a bit, some older,
some newer. There’s been a lot of foot traffic in and out of this cavern fairly recently, like a
week or so ago. And you begin to follow the tracks. Some lead back the path you came, some
seem to circle around further into the valley around this mountain. LAURA: I think I’ve picked something up. Should we
follow it now or should we– SAM: It’s dark. LAURA: — camp out and do it in the morning. MARISHA: Cover for me. I’m gonna drop down and do
a Commune With Nature. TRAVIS: How do we cover you? TALIESIN: She talks to non-ducks. MARISHA: Can Lionel and I commune together and do
bonuses? Can I be like, can you call your ducks? JON: That’s what I was trying to do. MARISHA: All right. MATT: I’ll say, as you begin to cast the spell,
you take Lionel’s hands and focus, and Lionel, you close your eyes and you imagine before you the
most beautiful desert duck that could ever exist. And for a good 45 seconds, 50 seconds, 60 seconds,
nothing. And that sadness in your heart sinks a bit, that perhaps Aes, or Scanlan, as these weird
people keep calling him, said, there are no ducks here. And you hear, in the darkness, (flapping
wings, squawk, impact sound). It runs into the side of the mountain, tumbles down onto the
ground. (duck sounds) SAM: It’s a miracle! TALIESIN: It certainly is. JON: The duck! LAURA: Wait, you can call them to you? JON: I mean, I just, normally that happens. LAURA: That’s a power, that’s amazing. TALIESIN: Do they obey you, or is it a partnership? LAURA: Could you call multiple to you and they
pick you up and fly you through the air? JON: You guys are confusing me. Look, I just talk
to them. MARISHA: You know, it’s okay. TALIESIN: Let’s not question this. MATT: So which of you wants to commune with the
duck? LIAM: Let the expert. JON: Okay, what do we wanna know? MARISHA: How deep is the cave-in? JON: How deep is the cave-in? Okay. SAM: To the duck? TALIESIN: They knew about the others. SAM: Sure, sure. JON: I ask the duck, how deep is the cave-in? MATT: Okay, the duck, “20 feet”. (laughter) TRAVIS: That’s a chill-as-fuck duck, y’all! JON: You couldn’t understand that. I was like, you
guys, that duck was really chill. (laughter) LAURA: No, I can tell, his body language is super
chill for a duck. JON: 20 feet. What else do we want? Do we wanna
ask if he recognizes who did this? MARISHA: That’s a good one, that’s a good one,
yeah, yeah, yeah. JON: Hey, greenie. How– who did this? What caused
the cave-in? MATT: “People.” MARISHA: You know, I have a similar problem when I
try to talk to cows. They have face-blindness. LAURA: I’m just gonna stealthily start following
the path around. MATT: Stealth check. MARISHA: Is there another entrance into this
cavern? JON: That’s good, that’s good. Should we ask the
nearest? Where’s the nearest entrance? LAURA: 29. JON: Or the safest entrance? MARISHA: Are there other entrances? JON: Hey, Greenie, how many other entrances are
there to this, about? MATT: “Two.” JON: Two. Uh-oh, that was two questions. MARISHA: Is that two including this entrance? MATT: (flapping wings) JON: Wait, wait, wait! TRAVIS: Duck Hunt! Shoot it! Vex! JON: Meant to ask where the entrances are. Sorry,
you guys. MARISHA: Well, there is another one. It’s good,
it’s fine, it’s good. In fact, I can double down on this. Can I now do my Commune With Nature and
see if I can map out this cavern and find the other entrances? MATT: Okay, so as you’ve now sat down, and you
focus, you can sense the guardian duck that was temporarily summoned is now wandering out to the
desert, probably to dehydrate and die horribly when the morning light comes. JON: I don’t know about this, I don’t know about
this. Aw, he’s going home to his family. TALIESIN: In a way, yes. MATT: However, you connect and you can feel your
spiritual essence connect with the land here. The landscape is something you’re not used to.
Elements of it remind you of Pyrah, though not as visceral and volcanic, but the general heat and
barren aspect of the landscape is familiar in some ways. So as you extend yourself, you can breathe
and you can feel the land breathe with you, and as that communion hits, you feel you could ask some
questions of the terrain. MARISHA: Where are the other two entrances to this
cavern? MATT: You get, as is the essence of answering
these questions, you sense that there is one near the top of the spire and there is one not terribly
far from where you are, kind of continuing inward towards the valley. But it doesn’t specify
directly where, it doesn’t put an ‘x’ on your map for you. You just know that one’s towards the top,
and one’s further around the path you’re going. MARISHA: Can I– hang on– around the path. Okay.
How deep is the Ziggurat from here? Can I sense the other Ziggurat? MATT: You focus, and you sense that there is
almost like a cyst in the ground. You can sense some subterranean cavern. Maybe about 400, 500
feet into the heart of the mountain from where you currently sit. You can sense there this kind of
pulsing darkness, almost like a terrible, cancerous heartbeat in the center of this land. MARISHA: Okay. What else? What’s the last one?
What should I do? SAM: Are there any people around? TALIESIN: Has anybody been through that upper
passageway? MARISHA: Yeah, yeah, yeah, can I sense any other
maraudering douchebags? MATT: Well, you can ask questions about people,
powerful celestials, fey, fiends, elementals, or undead, influence from means of other existences. MARISHA: Humanoids? What about humanoids? MATT: You want to try and sense humanoids? You ask
about it. Your attention is shifted back towards that weird cyst-Ziggurat area in the center of the
mountain, and the land seems to give you the idea that there are a number of humanoids there right
now. MARISHA: Shit. Do they look like cultist-y
people? MATT: You don’t have a visual. Your vision isn’t
brought there, you just kind of sense that they’re there. They’re inside the mountain. MARISHA: What? JON: I could’ve told you there was people at the
pyramid. TALIESIN: Well, last time. Who’s here now? JON: Well, why would they leave? MARISHA: I don’t know. I said there’s all these
cool cult people. Yeah, they could leave. JON: It’s good to know that they’re still there. TRAVIS: Were there people inside? MARISHA: A decent amount of people. MATT: So Vex is gone. TRAVIS: Where’s Vex? LIAM: What did you find out? MARISHA: A lot of people. There’s another entrance
nearby, I think further down this path. It’s close. LIAM: Well, Vex went this way. Is it in that
direction? MARISHA: What? What do you mean? She went where? MATT: You actually didn’t see the direction she
went. LIAM: Do we see footprints going in a direction,
though, you described? MATT: Nobody else did. Only she was tracking.
Literally, you all turn around and Vex is just gone. MARISHA: I think there’s also an entrance at the
top of this spire, if we want to do a downward approach, but that seems risky. MATT: You follow the tracks, and about 200 or so
feet around the edge, and you have to follow them between a few smaller rocks that are jutting out
at the base of the mountain, and the terrain itself rolls a bit, and cracks in places. There
are small fissures from recent rains that caused the earth to well up and tear in places, and
eventually the tracks curve in towards the mountain and end, and it’s just sheer mountain.
There’s no sign of an entryway visually. LAURA: Can I search for one? MATT: Make an investigation check. LAURA: Do I get advantage because it’s a
mountain? MATT: You do, actually, yes. Favored terrain. LAURA: Fucking balls. Perception? MATT: Investigation. LAURA: No, I want perception. MATT: You’re getting investigation. LAURA: 11. MATT: 11? You have no idea where the entrance is.
The tracks end in this general vicinity, and it’s just rock. It doesn’t even look like there’s
handholds. LAURA: Weird. I wonder if it’s an illusion. Can I
put my hand on the rocks and see if there’s an illusion? MATT: Okay. You put your hands out to feel against
the rock, and your hand passes through. LAURA: What-what! I feel like Vex is really good
at finding illusions. Oh, shit! Okay, well, can I put the front of my face through the wall and see
what I see? MATT: Sure. You poke into the darkness, and it is
pitch-black on the inside. As you poke past the illusion, it’s about two inches or so of this
rocky, heavy orange-red stone, and as you peer in you can see a cavern about ten feet wide or so and
about 12 to ten feet tall. Natural along the walls, you can see the ground itself is smoothed
over, and it’s straight. It’s a straight tunnel. It’s not a rocky natural formation, it’s like it
was pushed and carved into the rock, like something heavy or something very focused drove
through. You glance over to the side, and you catch what appears to be a face in the wall, about
that big around. It’s featureless, you just see two eye sockets, a mouth, and a nose. You see a
flash of green light. I need you to make a constitution saving throw. LAURA: Well, it’s too late. Constitution saving
throw? TRAVIS: Can we also say that we put our earrings
back in the next day? MATT: I assumed you did. TRAVIS: Because we’re professionals. LAURA: That was almost so good, but then it
wasn’t. Ten. MATT: Ten. No, that does not succeed. TRAVIS: Curious little cat. LAURA: I’m a rogue now, you guys! TALIESIN: Had to poke it. MATT: You take 61 points of necrotic damage. As a
familiar sting, as the green light flash turns into a piercing beam of life-draining energy, one
that once almost brought you to the edge of death before, and as it hits you, you feel your breath
and life essence sucked out of your nose and mouth and ears like a giant vacuum is pulling the
essence out of your body. The veins bulge, you can’t breathe, and you pull yourself back out of
the illusory wall, and have to gasp for a moment. You guys hear the gasping as you begin to approach
that side, and you find your sister there grabbing herself. LAURA: (coughing) Jenga. Not full Jenga. ASHLEY: What happened, what happened, what
happened? LAURA: Don’t go through the wall. Can I heal,
Pike? ASHLEY: Yes, yes. LAURA: There’s a thing in there. There’s a face,
and it sucks your life out. I found a door, though, guys! JON: Where’s the door? LAURA: Don’t. I’m not even going to tell you where
the door is. I’m not going to tell him where the door is. TRAVIS: We don’t see a door. JON: I don’t see a door. LAURA: Nobody touch the rocks! LIAM: But there’s a bad door somewhere around
here? LAURA: There’s a bad door. Just listen for a
moment. Bad door. Right in front of me: fake, bad door. If you go through it, there is a very bad
face that sucks your life out. LIAM: A bad face. LAURA: Yeah. TALIESIN: There’s a door you cannot see, and a bad
face sucks your life away. LAURA: Yeah. I’m going to take my Oracle Arrow and
crouch down. SAM: Wait, wait, wait, before you do that, are you
sure that’s– LIAM: Yeah, slow down, you’re doing all the shit. SAM: You’re going to just shoot something in
there? What if they see it fly in? LAURA: That’s why I was going to crouch down and
shoot the arrow super low to the ground. LIAM: What if they still see the arrow fly in? LAURA: Well, when I peeked my head in, before I
got my life sucked out, I didn’t see anything in front of me. Did I? LIAM: I’m going to assume that before we heard her
gasping, Keyleth was filling us in. MARISHA: You know, I think it’s right around that
direction. Follow the gasping. It feels like it’s really close to the gasping. LIAM: I’m going to go check out the top. (mist
sound) LAURA: Give me shit, and then take off on your
own. LIAM: Well, I’m not going to stick my face in
something. MATT: All right. So you fly up. (flapping wings)
60 feet a round. It’ll take you a good five minutes or so to make your way towards the top end
of the spire. As you’re going, make an investigation check. LIAM: Can I stealth as cloud? MATT: Oh, you’re going cloud! Sorry, I thought you
were doing your wings. As a cloud, you get there really fast. So as you make it up there, you
cannot– I will say, for the purposes of this… LIAM: I’m wind. I’m not going high, I’m going
through the treetops. MATT: Yeah, so make a stealth check. LIAM: All right, I will. That is very good. That
is a 35. MATT: 35, okay. As far as you understand, no one
seems to see you. Make an investigation check as you make your way up the mountainside to check for
any sort of entrances. LAURA: You should mark off one of your Lucks
because you already used it for the day. LIAM: I did, it’s on the plastic. SAM: Keep him honest. LIAM: Oh man. I love you so wholeheartedly, and on
a regular basis you kick me in the goolies. I don’t understand it. SAM: Good old four-Luck O’Brien. LIAM: Seven Luck. It’s not per game, it’s per day,
so if we go to bed, it resets. Fart knockers. I’m doing investigation? That’s 18. MATT: 18. You glide around there for a good ten,
15 minutes or so, scouring the edge. All you know is it’s near the top, and you see no sign of an
entrance. LIAM: Okay. So it’s not a volcanic hole or
anything, there’s just a secret entrance. MATT: No. She told you there was supposedly an
entrance, but you see nothing. Sheer rock. There are a couple of indents that could be cave
entrances, but when you get close you see it’s just a small alcove that ends. LAURA: Maybe you should try sticking your face
against some of the sheer rock face. LIAM: I return to my loving sister, kind and good.
I land, and say, I saw another face, but I didn’t stick my face in it, because that would be
stupid. MARISHA: I wonder if there’s another face behind
the cave-in. LAURA: You know what, I should probably find out!
And I shoot the Oracle Arrow. MATT: Okay. You shoot the Oracle Arrow and– MARISHA: Wait, into the cave-in, or the illusory
wall? MATT: How far do you fire it? Is it full strength,
is it a lob? LAURA: No, I don’t want to go crazy far. I want to
get in, a little bit further to see if I can find any more traps, and see how that face works. TRAVIS: What percentage of your strength do you
shoot it at? 70? 50? 25? LAURA: 65 percent of my strength is used. MATT: Okay. (whoosh) As you release it, it’s still
a good distance. It (whoosh) continues through. As you go past the face, the one that shot the green
light, you can see the front of it is darkened now, from where before it was untouched. It
cruises past. You see the formations. It looks like there’s some cool designs here and there. The
arrow eventually comes to rest. You don’t see anything of interest as you pass by that quickly.
You do see a very, very faint glow down the hall. You can see the glimmer of light, and as you
watch, it’s shifting ever so slightly, flickering like firelight. LAURA: I think there’s a fire further in. TRAVIS: Was the face there? LAURA: The face is in there. TRAVIS: Was it doing the life-sucking thing? LAURA: Not to my arrow. But it was there on the
wall. TRAVIS: I’ll go in. LAURA: No, no, no, Grog, don’t! ASHLEY: She got hurt! TRAVIS: Yeah, but I’m stacked for days. LAURA: We should dispel it or something. JON: I got your back, Grog. TALIESIN: We’ve got another entrance. MARISHA: I can Dispel Magic still. LAURA: Yeah, see if you can dispel the magic! TALIESIN: Let’s see if there’s a second entrance. MARISHA: Well, there is a second entrance. One is
up top. TALIESIN: Well, they’re going to think we’re
coming in through here, because they know about this entrance. Maybe they don’t know about the
other one, so we could maybe be super tricky and take an entrance they don’t know about at all. MARISHA: I can clear out the cave-in. I imagine if
someone is trying to cause an intentional cave-in, they’re anticipating no one going through that
cave-in, and we can start there. JON: I at least know my way in, if we cleared
that. TALIESIN: If I were expecting people, I’d expect
them through the entrance I take or the cave-in, not a third entrance I don’t know about, though.
Assuming they don’t know about it. MARISHA: But they do know about the up. He said
there was a face. JON: No, he’s talking about the third entrance,
that’s lower. TALIESIN: Higher. JON: No, I thought that was the higher one. MARISHA: Hang on, hang on. There are three
entrances: the cave-in, the one where Vex just got exploded, and one through the top of the spire. LIAM: Which I could not find. TALIESIN: Should we take a group look for the top
of the spire? MARISHA: If we go through the cave-in entrance, I
can clear it out. I will clear one of my last high-level spells, but Lionel knows his way
through that way. LAURA: Yeah, but we shouldn’t go in the night. We
need to rest. MARISHA: But I can clear it tonight. TALIESIN: We could just make a tiny hole in the
cave-in and become smoke and go inside. Is that not possible? He asked. MATT: That may be quite possible, actually. TALIESIN: So that they wouldn’t even know that we
had cleared it. It would just be relatively untouched. MARISHA: Can we camp out inside? MATT: It’s a gaseous form, so yeah. LAURA: We would have to camp inside the cave-in. TALIESIN: It’s either that or camp right in front
of the front door after just triggering a spell. LAURA: Oh, Scanlan! We’ve been so long without
you, I forgot we had it! MARISHA: Oh my god, we have the mansion! LIAM: I mean, only if you want to. I remember that
being a sore spot. SAM: I don’t even know if you guys want me to come
in with you. I’ve taken you this far. But if you need me in there, I’ll come. ASHLEY: No, you’ll be coming. SAM: All right. Let’s make a hole and go in, and
then we can camp the night inside. JON: I think some of my dead comrades we could use
as pillows. They’re probably still in there. TALIESIN: That may not be necessary. ASHLEY: Body pillow. TALIESIN: I’m so proud of you! That was amazing! MATT: So what’s the plan, guys? LAURA: We’re going to go back to the cave-in. Oh,
wait, wait, wait! I did have a question. I feel like it might be smart to get my arrow out of
there, in case anybody comes out and sees an arrow. ASHLEY: That’s a good idea. LAURA: But I don’t know how to do that. Is there
an Unseen Servant or something? JON: I’ll run in real fast and get it. SAM: No, do not do that. I, Scanlan Shorthalt, can
go get it, if you’d like. LAURA: No, Scanlan, that’s not what I meant. SAM: I can go get it if you’d like. LAURA: No, I don’t want you to go in! It fucking
sucks your life out! SAM: It’s easy. I’ll be there and back in two
seconds. JON: But there’s a face-sucking thing. LAURA: Do I know how many feet in it went? MATT: You’re not entirely certain. I’d say a
couple hundred, maybe. 150. TRAVIS: You did 65 percent of your… SAM: You’re an expert marksman, you know. Within
100 feet? Yeah, how about this? Why don’t you shoot an arrow right now, outside the cave, same
strength, and see how far it goes? LAURA: You got it. MATT: Okay. So what’s the range on your bow? LAURA: Oh, that’s a good question. Fenthras,
exalted. MATT: It’s a longbow. It’s just a general
longbow’s range. Do you have that written down? LAURA: What? Like 120 feet? Is it that, or is it
more? MATT: 150 is your first increment, and then 600 is
your second increment. TALIESIN: 65 is like 400 feet. MATT: Approximately, yeah. TALIESIN: Or the closest wall. Did it hit a wall? MATT: It did not hit a wall. TALIESIN: 400 feet. LAURA: That’s really far. No, but how would you do
it? How would you do it? SAM: I have ways. LIAM: Could you see through the mouth of this face
that you saw, when you were in there? LAURA: I saw eyes. MATT: There was no eyes. There was empty sockets,
a mouth, and a nose, and then suddenly the sockets began to glow green for a second, and then the
hit. LAURA: The sockets glowed green and then I got
hit. LIAM: So you couldn’t see through the mouth, it
was just a dark maw. LAURA: Right. But the eyes glowed. ASHLEY: You’re just going to go in there,
Scanlan? SAM: You want to come? ASHLEY: How are you going to do this? SAM: The way I always go. Dimension Door. LAURA: What if it can reach you that far in? SAM: It can’t. ASHLEY: How do you know? SAM: I assume. ASHLEY: Well, I’m not going with you! SAM: Great. LIAM: I’ll go with you. SAM: You can’t. LAURA: You’re too big. SAM: I’ll just go. Dimension Door 400 feet
straight in. ASHLEY: Wait, I’ll go with him. I’m going to go
with you. I’m keeping my eye on him. MATT: All right. (poof) You guys appear inside the
cavern. Darkness. You can see the firelight ahead, the flicker at the end of the tunnel, and you can
see the tunnel, the straight portion of it, maybe 100 feet forward, begins to shift and bend a
little bit. It starts to turn into more of a natural cavern as it goes. Whatever drove its way
in here has merged with a natural path on the inside of the mountain, possibly even merged with
the cave-in path. You look on the ground, and both of you guys make investigation checks, if you
don’t mind. ASHLEY: Investigation, did you say? SAM: 30. ASHLEY: I’m sure he found something. 11. MATT: In the time it takes you to go, “Okay, we’re
looking…” He’s like, “Found it!” You find the arrow. A little dust drifts off of it, and as
you’re walking you can see that there’s a softness to the ground here. You get the sense that the
formation, whatever rock was pushed through here, was… There’s no pile of rock outside, there’s no
symbol of the earth that was carved out of this tunnel, recently it seems, placed anywhere.
There’s just an absence of rock, and there’s a heavy layer of dust on the ground. LAURA: Do either of you have Dust of
Tracelessness? ASHLEY: No. Well. SAM: Go back? ASHLEY: Yeah. Let’s go back. SAM: Will you hold my hand? ASHLEY: No. No, don’t push your luck. MATT: (poof) You guys bamf back out of the
outside. You watch as Scanlan and Pike reemerge from the outside, Scanlan holding your arrow
triumphant. LAURA: Oh, it’s dusty. Was it dusty in there? SAM: It was very dusty in there. LIAM: Any footprints? ASHLEY: None that we could see. SAM: Soft un-tread earth. LIAM: Weird. LAURA: Thank you. MARISHA: Oh, no. LIAM: What is it, Kiki? MARISHA: Maybe this is the unused entrance. Maybe
the cave-in is the more recent. LAURA: No, I see tracks coming in and out of this
place. I know there’s people that use this. MATT: Yeah, fairly recent tracks. LIAM: But you saw no footprints inside? ASHLEY: Did you, Scanlan? You should’ve seen
something. Did you look? SAM: No, I forgot. I was looking for the arrow.
That was our mission. ASHLEY: Well, I was just making sure you weren’t
going to run away, so I was preoccupied. JON: So you guys both accomplished your missions!
Awesome! LAURA: Maybe we should go back into the other
side, then. Unless somebody can just fucking dispel that face, and then we can just go in this way. MARISHA: I could attempt it. I have Dispel Magic
with me right now. TRAVIS: Do it! MARISHA: All right. I’ll do it. LIAM: Is the plan to camp out tonight? In the
mansion, by a fire, whichever? LAURA: In the mansion. TALIESIN: I’m going to point out, I’ve already
been looking for a way into the cave-in while you’ve all been being ridiculous. LAURA: You’ve already gone back? TALIESIN: The minute he suggested that he get it,
I didn’t want to be a part of that, so I just immediately went in to start testing to see if
there was ways we could just meld through the cave-in, or if we actually had to make a hole. MATT: So you’re inspecting? TALIESIN: I misty-ed out of that the minute that
he started working on it. MATT: So you’re over, currently looking for a way
through? TALIESIN: Seeing if I can find ways through. MATT: You manage to squeeze through a few crevices
between the stones and rock, but it’s pretty densely packed. You get maybe five feet in before
you can’t really find a way to get your whole mist form through. TALIESIN: I’m going to start, back to normal, at
the very top of the pile, looking to see if I can start scraping through using my sword to make a
crevice. MATT: Okay, so you’re working on that. What are
you guys doing? SAM: Are we trying to dispel the magic or are we
going in the other way? Maybe we should just make a decision. MARISHA: I’m trying to dispel the magic. MATT: Okay. So you walk up to the illusory wall. MARISHA: I’m having Vex be like, tell me where it
is. Can I prepare it so as soon as I poke my head in, I can be like (dink)! MATT: Okay. You poke your head in, and as soon as
you glance off to the side, you can see the stone face in the wall. MARISHA: (poof) MATT: Cast Dispel Magic… Doesn’t seem to have an
effect. MARISHA: Bail. Bail! Bail! Out! LAURA: Did it hit you that fast? It didn’t hit
you? MATT: There was no attack from the face, either. TALIESIN: I get the distinct impression, perhaps,
that you used it up, and probably alerted them that somebody was at that entrance. LAURA: Let’s maybe move away from the entrance. MARISHA: Can I peek my head back in and do a… MATT: You glance in. No trigger, nothing. The face
seems inert. LAURA: I peek my head in. Does the flickering
light in the distance seem brighter? MATT: Make a perception check. LAURA: It’s too many choices. Too many dice.
Fucking shit, motherfuck! Wait, wait, it’s a mountain. MATT: It is a mountain. You get to have an
advantage. That’s what rangers do, man! LIAM: Was the light seen by the arrow? MATT: The light was seen by the arrow. LIAM: So you’re looking at the face. LAURA: No, I’m looking in the fucking tunnel. MATT: The face is on the side of it. It’s beyond. LIAM: Oh, it keeps going? MATT: Yeah. So depending on how high her
perception is, she may, now that she sees the flicker at the end, she may be able to see
something. So how high did you roll? LAURA: 31. MATT: That would be high enough to just barely
focus your half-elven eyes and glance down. You get to see the very faint bead of light at the
very tip, and it doesn’t seem to change over the next 30 seconds, next minute, next two minutes
while you focus intently. You don’t see any shift or change. ASHLEY: Should we just go in? LAURA: We could. JON: So you think the face is recharging? LAURA: I think I might have used up its only
charge, potentially. Or it’s recharging. JON: It’s like a booby trap, used once. LIAM: I will take a look at it, and look at the
area and see if there’s anything left to it or other traps further down. MATT: Okay. Make an investigation check. SAM: Well, if he’s going in, Taryon will go in and
Identify the thing. MATT: Okay. Go ahead and make an arcana check. LIAM: 19. MATT: 19, okay. You glance by, you check it. As
you both are looking at it, both Taryon and Vax approach the face, and the carving is rudimentary.
It looks more like it was prepared as the basis of– what did you roll? SAM: 17, but I’ve got Identify. MATT: Yeah. There’s no magical essence to it any
longer, but your arcana check shows that you can see that there are certain small carvings in it
that look to be some sort of sigil or glyph that is designed to hold a spell until triggered, and
then it’s released. Actually, Pike, you’ve used this once before. It’s an actual Glyph of Warding
spell that is utilized to hold a spell in and release it upon some sort of a trigger. SAM: So it’s one-time use, so we’re good to go in
this way if we’d like. LAURA: Does the Glyph of Warding alert you once
it’s gone off? ASHLEY: I don’t think so. MATT: You don’t recall. You didn’t know your glyph
went off until you found the destroyed body of the prisoner that you had released in Westruun long
ago. LAURA: Oh, right. The guy that was stealing all
that gold. ASHLEY: And then I think we also put one on the
top of the loot for the dragon? MATT: That’s the one that got him. He tried to get
some money on the way out, and you found his body blown up and dragged about 20 feet off before he
expired. ASHLEY: Yeah, I don’t think it alerts anybody. LAURA: Okay, good. Then we are probably safe going
in. I’m going to cast Pass Without a Trace on us. I’m going to see how many people I can cast it on.
Every creature I choose within 30 feet of me! So, sweet, it’s everybody. MATT: Yep. All right. You notice, Lionel, as you
guys step in, even in your Darkvision– which, by the way, for your two human companions, it is
complete darkness. You had a little bit of starlight, and your eyes had adjusted to it where
you could see the edges and rims of different shapes within the mountain range, but once you
step past the illusory barrier into the interior of the cavern, it is just darkness. LAURA: Is Percy back yet? TALIESIN: Yes, I just got back. LAURA: Percy, hold on to my waist, dear. SAM: Should we use our flashlights or no? TALIESIN: No, I don’t think so. LIAM: I’m going to stay 30 feet in front of the
group and continue to check for traps. MATT: All right, so everyone roll stealth. LAURA: And add ten to it because of Pass Without a
Trace. SAM: Doty’s going to click his boots of whatever.
His boots of elven… MATT: That give him the bonus on stealth checks? SAM: Yeah, elvenkind. TRAVIS: 26. ASHLEY: 30! That’s never going to happen again. MATT: Vex? LAURA: 25. LIAM: 37. MATT: Pike is more stealthy than Vex right now! LAURA: It’s because Percy’s holding on to my
waist. MATT: I understand. Keyleth? MARISHA: 26. TALIESIN: 21. JON: 28. SAM: Scanlan got 29, Taryon got 25, and Doty got a
two, but with his boots– what do his boots do? Shit! MATT: The boots give him advantage on stealth
checks. He gets to roll again. SAM: Okay. 17! Plus ten, yeah. MATT: There you go. So you guys silently make your
way in. I would like a marching order on this, because it is about ten feet wide, this tunnel,
and you guys can only go in there two at a time, shoulder-to-shoulder. TALIESIN: Who’s got the best night vision? LAURA: Actually, Doty has the best night vision.
He’s got complete Darkvision? Oh, we all have Darkvision. MATT: Okay, so Vax and Pike in the front. LIAM: Check for traps, check for traps, check for
traps. LAURA: We didn’t take a nap. SAM: Do you want to stop and camp? LAURA: Maybe in a little bit. TALIESIN: I’m all right with the notion of getting
a little deeper in. MATT: All right, so. Pike and Vax at the front.
All right. Who’s after them? LAURA: Me and Percy. ASHLEY: I tug on Vax’s shirt just to let him know
I’m there. SAM: I feel like good old Chod should be near the
tip of the spear since he knows the inside of this place a bit. LAURA: That’s true. What did he roll for stealth? MATT: He rolled a 28 I think. JON: Have I been in this area? MATT: You have not been in this specific tunnel.
You haven’t seen anything that looks familiar. The path you went before was a natural cavern. This
one is pushed straight through. JON: Yeah. But I can see how, I’m the only one
who’s been in this mountain, so there’s maybe a little trust. I got this! I haven’t been here, but
I got it! MATT: All right, so do you push your way towards
the front? JON: Sure. MATT: All right. So, Pike and Vax, as you guys are
moving forward, your bardbarian friend pushes aside and muscles up to become the point at the
tip of the sphere. JON: I crop-dust all of you as I go in front of
you. MATT: After that, after Percy and Vex? MARISHA: I’ll go. MATT: All right. Keyleth, and we still have
Taryon, Scanlan… SAM: Taryon next, with Doty with him. MATT: Taryon with Doty behind. Doty is going to be
two people in the cavern. So who’s behind Doty? TRAVIS: Me. MATT: All right, Grog. And… SAM: Scanlan will be in the rear. MATT: All right, so Scanlan is alongside Grog. I
imagine you have Trinket in your necklace? LAURA: Yes. MATT: All right. So at the very end, Grog, you’re
walking, and Scanlan’s there at your side, and Doty walking in front of you, lumbering,
surprisingly quiet. And you get the sense the reason you’re so stealthy in here is because as
you step, it’s soft. It’s like stepping on a bunch of very, very fine powder. (heavy footsteps) It
helps cushion your footfalls. MARISHA: Like snow? Or ash? MATT: Like ash, almost. Like a very, very fine
dust. MARISHA: Can I dip down and grab a bit of it and
do a nature check on it? Is it ash? MATT: Sure, make a nature check. LAURA: It’s cocaine! MATT: First she eats the soul, then she just does
a line in the middle of the tunnel. Keyleth’s gone off the end, it’s really bad. MARISHA: 15. MATT: 15’s not too bad. You taste it, and you
smell it. It’s not ash. It’s very, very, very fine powder. It has an earthy rock taste to it. LIAM: And are there any tracks or footprints ahead
of Pike and I? MATT: Make a survival check. LIAM: Survival. Ooh, that’s good. 19. MATT: 19. You do see some tracks stepping up and
down, yes. LIAM: Both ways? MATT: Both ways. LIAM: Shite. MATT: All right. So pushing forward, another 30 or
40 feet, roll another investigation check. LIAM: Not perception? MATT: Not for checking for traps, man, it’s
investigation. Always been. LIAM: 21. MATT: 21, okay. SAM: Fine, if Matt wants to change the rules 100
games in, I guess so. MATT: All right, so you continue moving forward.
You do not see any traps, anything that catches your attention. MARISHA: Can I just do a little, I’m going to
scoop up a little bit and say, Percy, can I get a little bit of water added onto this? Can I do
another nature check on what this is? TRAVIS: You are fucking fascinated with the god
damn ash. MATT: I’m not going to tell you to make another
nature check. You can’t keep making rolls until you get a better one. It turns into an immediate
mud. It’s a very, very fine silt, almost. TALIESIN: What color is the rock? MATT: The powder, you mean? TALIESIN: I can’t see anything, can I? Never
mind. MATT: You can see nothing. In fact, when you say,
“Percy, get some water on this,” you’re like, “What? I don’t– where?” You have to guide his
hand. LIAM: And is it dead silent in here? MATT: It’s dead quiet from where you currently
are. You can make a perception check to listen in to see if you hear anything ahead. LIAM: 24. MATT: 24. You listen carefully and you hear faint
sounds of footsteps and scraping stone. In one little, sounds like a (whistle), like a brief
sucking sound, and that’s it. LIAM: Over the earring, not alone. Not alone.
Something up ahead. I don’t think we’re camping. LAURA: If we camp, then they won’t find us. They
can’t see the door. LIAM: What do y’all want to do? TRAVIS: You’re on point. Keep going. ASHLEY: I say we keep going. If it’s an emergency,
we can all jump into the mansion, maybe. TALIESIN: I’ll activate my boots. ASHLEY: Is everybody okay to keep going? MATT: Okay. You continue another 40, 50 feet down
the path. Make another investigation check. LIAM: Natural 20. MATT: You go a little further ahead and you come
upon what appears to be two more of those faces, that are facing the inside of the wall maybe 30
feet ahead. And you stop. You can see they’re both facing outward, towards the center of the
hallway. LIAM: Kiki, a couple more faces. Can you shimmy
your way up here, please? MARISHA: I get down on my hands and elbows. LAURA: Percy, spread your legs! I let her crawl
through us. LIAM: Left hand green! MARISHA: Where are they? LIAM: Right over there, right up ahead, 30 feet.
Both sides. MATT: He points it out to you, and you can just
barely see the smooth walls, the almost oval, circular passageway, you can see the slight lift
of the side rock where the faces form a very faint profile. MARISHA: I scootch a few more inches and use my
last two 3rd-level spells. MATT: Okay. Roll a d20. Add your wisdom modifier,
please. MARISHA: Just my straight modifier? MATT: Yep. MARISHA: Don’t fuck me Gil! Okay, that’s good,
that’s good. 19 on the first one. MATT: Okay, roll again on the second one. MARISHA: 18 on the second one. MATT: Okay. As you take a moment (whoosh), the
first one releases, and you watch as the face suddenly begins to glow with this dull, grayish,
black crackling energy, and then (poof). The energy seems to vanish and disperse, with the one
on the left. You turn and release Dispel Magic on the one on the right, and you watch as the same
effect happens. (poof) Disperses as well. MARISHA: Okay, we’re good! LAURA: (sings) You’re the best around! Okay, keep
going forward. LIAM: Grab her shoulder, move slowly past, pull
Pickle along, and continue to carefully search. MATT: Okay. As you approach and step toward the
space right between where the two faces are, you make one footfall between the two of them, and
nothing happens. You successfully dispelled the effect. ASHLEY: You sneaky. MATT: Wanted to fuck with you. You continue
pushing forward for another 50 or so feet. You’re starting to get fairly close at this point to
where the arrow may have dropped. LAURA: Oh, shit, you were right by fucking other
faces when you popped in before! MATT: You moved just a little bit beyond them.
Make another investigation check. You’re not there yet, but you’re getting closer. LIAM: 18. MATT: 18, okay. You don’t seem to notice any
strange or different elements of the topography that worry you. You push on for another 40, 50
feet or so, and you’re just now on the cusp of where the arrow dropped. Make another
investigation check. LAURA: Roll super good. LIAM: That’s at least an 18. Oh, it’s better than
18. It is 26. MATT: Okay. You don’t notice any traps or any
issues in the vicinity. You do see the footprints of Pike and Scanlan where they first arrived
earlier before, venturing into this cavern, and pushing forward about 20 or so feet, the smooth
cavern begins to turn into more of a natural, almost a volcanic tube-type physicality to it, and
you can see to the left, another tunnel merges with it. You begin to recognize this. It looks
like this carved tunnel is now dovetailing into the path that you guys found your way in, the one
that was collapsed on the exit. Now the path that you know and the path you’re traversing have
finally merged into one singular path. JON: I know this place, you guys! Let’s go down
the left one. LAURA: Shh! TALIESIN: Left? JON: Yeah. There’s one that’s– we can either go
straight, or there’s one at the… MATT: The one that’s on the left will lead you
back to the entrance where you first came in, but it was collapsed, the one that you knew. If you
keep going straight, it’ll lead you towards the light and where you saw these people last time you
were here. JON: If we go left, it’s going to take us back the
other way, so that’s safe, but we could keep going straight where the light is. LIAM: We’re here for your friends, right? JON: Yeah, they might still be alive. And I call
out, hello? MATT: Okay. It echoes. “Hello?” Everyone make a
perception check. SAM: Right now I’m looking at the back of Grog’s
ass. But I got a 19. MARISHA: Natural 19. TRAVIS: 10. ASHLEY: 22. LAURA: 22. JON: 21. TALIESIN: 13. MATT: 19, you got, right? MARISHA: Yeah. That’s a 34 total. LIAM: 32. MATT: All right. Everyone over 20, you listen and
you can hear very faint voices (whispering), and it sounds like movement moving quicker. LAURA: Scanlan? Maybe now is the time for that
door. SAM: For the door? The mansion? LAURA: Yeah. SAM: Okay. It takes a minute to cast. LIAM: That’s not going to work. We’ve got company
coming. LAURA: How near do the voices sound? MATT: They don’t sound like they’re getting
louder. Doesn’t sound like they’re getting closer, you just hear voices. SAM: Do you want me to? LAURA: Let’s backtrack to the caved-in tunnel. JON: Maybe it’s my friends. Should we go? LAURA: No. Let’s backtrack to the caved-in tunnel
and set up the door. MARISHA: You guys go. I’ll wait here just in
case. JON: I’ll stay with you. TALIESIN: Be quiet. MATT: Okay. You guys make your way towards the
caved-in entrance. TALIESIN: I’ll stay with the two of you because I
can’t see shit and I’ll slow you down. If things happen, they’re going to light up. It’ll be all
right. MATT: Okay. So you guys make your way back to the
entranceway. LIAM: I actually stay halfway between both. MATT: You stay halfway between, okay. It’s roughly
about 150, 200 feet this direction. It’s a shallower cavern to this area than the one you
came through. It’s a longer way in, but you manage to find the other end of this cave-in. It’s rocks
that have tumbled in and clustered. Keyleth, you glance over and you see shapes moving in the
light, and as you glance up ahead, about 30 feet ahead of you, you see six figures heading your
direction. Humanoid. SAM: That’s 100,000 dollars, yo. Six figures,
moving your direction! MARISHA: Holy shit, a brand new Tesla is coming
this way! Okay. Hey, we have people. We have people coming this way, about six of them. Just
letting you know, probably going to be some fighting coming up, and that is your update from
the Voice of the Tempest. LIAM: I’m creeping back. MATT: All right. So you go ahead and you meet up
with Keyleth. The rest of you are back by the doorway. Scanlan, you’re taking a minute to cast
this? SAM: I mean, you told me to do this, right? LAURA: I thought we were not going to fight, but
it’s up to everybody else. TALIESIN: We may need a place to disappear to, so
yes. MARISHA: It’s not a bad idea. We can hold them
off. SAM: Okay. I’m out of the fight, then. So I’ll
start casting and singing. MATT: Okay, so Scanlan begins working on casting
the magnificent– SAM: (sings) When people keep repeating that you
need a place to sleep, when everybody starts retreating but you need a really cool keep, let
Scanlan open the door. Let Scanlan open the door! Let Scanlan open the door to your house! MATT: So as this is commencing– Oh, I’ve missed
that. JON: I’ve never heard music. I want to stay back
with him. No, I’m kidding, I want to stay. I’m still with her. MATT: All right, so we have Lionel, Keyleth, and
eventually Vax, and the rest of you are still back at the entranceway. MARISHA: And Percy. MATT: Oh, Percy’s there. LAURA: I’m going to stand at the entrance of the
tunnel and guard Scanlan. MATT: Okay. Keyleth, you keep an eye out and you
watch as they approach. They’re in a sprint, a wild sprint. You notice the humanoid figures,
there’s a lot of clacking sounds, and you immediately notice they’re thinner than a
fleshed-out human. These are skeletal. They are skeletons in armor with shields and weapons, and
they’re (snarling) scattering through the hallway towards you at a very fast pace. MARISHA: I’m just going to say, Pike? Pike, I
think we’ve got some undead coming our way. Probably going to need some Divine Smiting. ASHLEY: Coming right up. MATT: Pike’s little legs start making her way.
It’s going to take you a while to get there. MARISHA: As I call Pike, I’m going to go ahead and be
like, here we go. (boom). MATT: What do you do? MARISHA: Fireball. MATT: A Fireball! MARISHA: I can see them, right? They’re close
enough? MATT: For a Fireball, most definitely. MARISHA: Okay. Out of the spire. MATT: So. Keyleth, I want you to go ahead and
roll your damage. MARISHA: Okay. Fireball is… Hang on, wait, I’m
not a sorcerer. I should’ve had this prepared. I admit I should’ve had this. It’s something d8?
d10’s? Fireball. 8d6 fire damage. MATT: One of them rolled a natural 20. MARISHA: One, two, three, four, five, six, give me
two more. MATT: That was a 19 and a 20. MARISHA: A 19 and a 20? That’s a lot. MATT: Your spell DC is what, 21? MARISHA: 21, yeah. MATT: All right, so two of them make their save. TALIESIN: You re-roll. MARISHA: I reroll ones. (counting) 34 damage. MATT: 34 damage. All right. You watch as four of
these skeletons explode, their bones detonating and exploding all over the cavern. You watch as it
bounces around and breaks and shatters, and you hear them all clattering into the dust below. Two
more push through the flames. You can see the armor, the leather they have on is now burning
behind them and is causing this glow in the alley. You see this, Percy. TALIESIN: How loud was this Fireball? MATT: It was pretty loud. It’s a Fireball. TALIESIN: I’ll take two shots at the two that came
through. MATT: Okay. MARISHA: We’re here. TALIESIN: I’m going to curl up to the top and
upside-down, take two shots. MATT: Okay. JON: This is with your rifle? TALIESIN: Yeah, with my big rifle. That’s not bad.
A 20 and a 27 to hit. MATT: Both hit. TALIESIN: Actually, even more than that. MATT: Don’t even worry about rolling damage
because even your minimum damage, with what damage they’d taken from the Fireball? Both shots, you
hit them both in the ribcage, in the sternum and the back of the spinal column and they fold into
themselves and crumple into spinning pieces of bone. You watch as the momentum of their movement
causes them to scatter across the dust. Both of them. (gunshots) MARISHA: Hey, Pike? Hold that order for that
divine smiting. We’re going to need it probably in a second. ASHLEY: I’m here. Did you save any for me? TALIESIN: There will be more. MARISHA: I think there’s going to be more. ASHLEY: I take out my mace and get ready. JON: I want some now. MATT: All right, as you guys are waiting there…
30 seconds passes. 30 seconds pass. Scanlan, you finish your spell. The doorway appears up. There
doesn’t appear to be anything else currently coming down the hall after you. LAURA: (singing) Scanlan, open the door. MARISHA: (singing) Scanlan, open the door. TRAVIS: We going in or what? LAURA: You guys want to camp? Let’s go. TALIESIN: Can we leave something here? Is there
some sort of alarm that we can set? LAURA: Like a glyph? ASHLEY: A Glyph of Warding? TALIESIN: Like a Glyph of Warding. ASHLEY: Yes, we can. JON: Can you put it on the faces that already
exist so that they think– ASHLEY: Ooh. Chod! SAM: And an idiot shall lead them. JON: What’s an idiot? LIAM: Broken clock. Twice a day. Well done. TALIESIN: Let’s take a long rest and see if we can
get two more. MATT: You do notice, Keyleth, that the flickering
light, the firelight, is getting brighter. The firelight is now becoming more of a white light,
and it’s a flickering white light. MARISHA: How hot does a campfire normally get? Not
that hot, right? LAURA: Not that hot. MARISHA: Oh no. Something bad. Hey, Pike? Fire.
Fire is very white. White fire. ASHLEY: Huh. LAURA: Feel like coming to the campsite? Maybe? TALIESIN: Let’s start backing up. ASHLEY and MARISHA: Okay. MARISHA: Back up a little bit. ASHLEY: Are we close to the faces at all, still? MATT: You’re maybe about 70 to 100 feet. ASHLEY: On the way back? MATT: You’re backing up through a different
tunnel, so there’s no faces that you’ve seen on this side. TALIESIN: Let’s leave it at the shift, so if they
go up our tunnel, we’ll know. ASHLEY: Great. I throw up a Glyph of Warding right
there. MATT: Glyph of Warding. What’s the casting time on
the glyph? ASHLEY: A gift for someone. MATT: What’s the casting time on the glyph? SAM: A gif of cording. MATT: Yes, that one. LAURA: We can’t find the card. ASHLEY: Give me just one second. I don’t know if
it slipped underneath. SAM: Probably a minute. TALIESIN: Everything fun takes a minute. MATT: All right. Glyph of Warding is one hour
casting time. TALIESIN: Oh, never mind! ASHLEY: You know what? We don’t have time, so
maybe we can just hop into the mansion. TALIESIN: Watch an episode of House of Cards, and
by then Glyph of Warding will be done? LAURA: Keep an eye. Hop in the mansion? TALIESIN: Let’s hop in the mansion. MATT: All right. You guys hop into the mansion.
You all make your way into the center of Scanlan’s magnificent mansion. Lionel, you step through this
weird sparkling purple doorway that wasn’t there before, and as you go through, the temperature
becomes very comfortable-warm. It’s well-kept inside. It’s climate-controlled. There’s these
beautiful marble pillars. There’s this royal red and gold carpet that spreads out over this dual
staircase that winds up to a second floor. It’s a gorgeous mansion. The interior’s immaculately
designed, and you watch as about a dozen or so spectral people suddenly float in with their arms
crossed and give a bow and a nod to you as you arrive. LAURA: Before we go in, will you throw down the
Dust of Tracelessness? TRAVIS: No. LAURA: Grog. TRAVIS: Yeah. (laughter) MATT: All right. You guys are all inside the
mansion. LAURA: Well. That was fun. MARISHA: It’s been a while. You’ve redecorated. SAM: I put some new art pieces in here. They’re
all counterfeit, but still good. LIAM: How’s the menu? SAM: The menu’s changed quite a bit. TALIESIN: Oh, do tell. SAM: Kaylie got sick of chicken about two weeks
in, so she’s got me on this vegan thing. (sighs) She says it’ll make me last longer and feel
healthier and stuff. LAURA: Last longer? SAM: Well, you know. Live longer. She said all
that meat was probably bad for me, so it’s all salads now. MARISHA: Only salads? SAM: Yeah. Different kinds of salad. LAURA: That’s it? That’s all they make, is salad? SAM: That’s what she told them to make, and that’s
what they’re making now. LAURA: But you run the place. SAM: Well, I don’t want to cross her. She has me
on a diet, and I’m trying to stick to it. It will be all salad. TALIESIN: Is it more tasteful in here now? SAM: Tasteful? TALIESIN: Is it more tasteful in the mansion? MATT: Is it more tasteful in the mansion? No, I
didn’t think so. LAURA: Is the picture still up that Pike
commissioned? SAM: Yeah, sure. It’s there. TRAVIS: You didn’t replace that? SAM: Maybe we should all retire to our rooms for a
while and come back for dinner. LAURA: Is Tary– does he have his own room, as
well? SAM: Oh, that’s the fancy fellow you’ve brought
with you. LAURA: Yeah. Tary, Scanlan. Scanlan, Tary. SAM: The new Scanlan. Yeah, right. TRAVIS: Tary, say hi. SAM: Hello! I’m Taryon Darrington. I’ve been quite
pleased to spend some time with your friends for the last year, and it’s– you have wonderful
friends. You should honor and cherish them. They are the best people I’ve ever met in my life, and
this is a lovely home you have. TRAVIS: Scanlan, don’t be rude. Respond. SAM: (sighs) It’s nice to meet you, too. Thank you
for looking after my friends. I guess any friend of Vox Machina is a friend of mine. You can use
the downstairs. The basement room. LAURA: Scanlan, you can add a room at a thought! TALIESIN: He can have my room. LAURA: He can have your room. TALIESIN: That will be fine. JON: Do you have any bunkbeds? SAM: No. I don’t have bunkbeds. JON: Do you have a hammock? SAM: No, I don’t think I do, but there might be
some spare cots and stuff downstairs. TRAVIS: Lionel, there is a war room down in the
bottom of this bitch. JON: War room? TRAVIS: Yeah. It’s got all the things people like
you and me need. We’re covered. JON: Sweet. TRAVIS: Sand pit, fighting dummies. JON: Dibs on the sand pit. TRAVIS: Shit. (laughter) JON: It’ll make me feel like I’m at home. TRAVIS: Fair enough. ASHLEY: There’s also the spa, right? SAM: Yeah. It was destroyed but rebuilt. It’s
lined with iron now, in case there’s an explosion. LIAM: Wise. SAM: Yeah. MATT: Do you guys all scatter to your rooms for a
moment to take a rest? LAURA: I guess so. LIAM: Do you want to play some cards or
something? SAM: Sure! That will be great. LIAM: Want to go back to, what, your room? SAM: That will be fine, yeah. Let’s go. MATT: All righty. You guys head back to Scanlan’s
room? We’re going to take a break here. We’ll return here and pick up from that exact moment
here, in just a few minutes. Real fast, we do have a Wyrmwood giveaway. It is the black walnut
complete dice tower system and tabletop dice tray with leather rolling surface. LAURA: Should we open it and see what color that
is? MATT: I’ll open some of it. I’m not going to open
all of it. LAURA: Just one, because it’s all black walnut. MATT: Black walnut is this really nice dark color.
The leather interior is really nice. This will be going to the person who wins in the Twitch chat.
Enter the code “hundred.” The word “hundred” is the code for the evening. Put it in there. Good
luck to whoever wins, and we’ll see you guys back here in a few minutes. (cheering) [break] MATT: And welcome back, ladies and gentlemen, to
Critical Role. First and foremost, we have our winner in the chat: AJSparks08, congratulations,
you won the fantastic Wyrmwood package. Denovo will contact you shortly to get your address and
shipping information. Congratulations, on our 100th episode Wyrmwood giveaway! Also, it’s come
to our attention that the chat room and the Internet is convinced that this is not a real set
and we are apparently on a green screen, so I wanted to show you guys how incredibly real this
— no, I’m kidding, it’s actually real. It’s a real set, it’s actually here. It’s a real set. LAURA: Don’t fuck up the wrinkles, they look so
good in the light! MATT: But I do understand illusions are prominent
in magical realms, apparently. TRAVIS: Because of the beautiful spot behind you,
can you give us one Vidal Sassoon wave of your– LAURA: Yeah, because you have a backlight! MATT: No. LAURA: And a halo around you, because of the
shield! TRAVIS: It’s kind of magnificent. Yeah! MATT: I hate you all so much. LAURA: Now your hair is extra fluffy because you
did it. MATT: God damn it. All right! Why do I listen to
these people? SAM: Maybe he’s born with it. JON: Maybe it’s– MATT: “Tary?” All right, so leaving us back where
we left off, you guys had all scattered to your various rooms in Scanlan’s magnificent mansion.
Vax, you had gone off with Scanlan? LIAM: Catch up, play cards. MATT: All right, so you make your way to the
chambers. LIAM: Boy, it is more extravagant in here than I
remember. SAM: Well, to be fair, you hadn’t spent a lot of
time in my room. LIAM: No, but there was just one mirror on the
ceiling, and now there are three. SAM: I need to get every angle, don’t I? LIAM: Yeah, that’s weird. Do you want to play
cards? SAM: Sure. Rummy gin? Gin rummy? Pinochle? LIAM: Yeah, I’ll pretend to know what those are. SAM: Spades? Hearts? LIAM: Let’s do hearts. SAM: Okay. I’ll deal. LIAM: Okay. No idea how to play this game. But Vax
does! SAM: I will win. LIAM: All right, so catch me up, man! SAM: I mean, there’s a lot to talk about in a
year. We– LIAM: What happened in the beginning? What
happened right after you left? First couple of weeks? SAM: We went on sort of a walkabout. Me and Kaylie
went off to the woods, did some camping. We found some travelers and sang to them, and told stories
like we do. Entertained some folks. Some nights were spent alone, some nights in the company of
people who wandered by. We weren’t too far away from Whitestone. LIAM: So how did you get to Marquet? SAM: After about a month or two of being hobos, I
guess, she wanted to do something. You know, anything. She was getting bored, she’s young. So I
told her, I don’t really have anywhere to go, but I do know of two fuckfaces I have to get revenge
on. I asked her if she’d be interested in that, and she said, fuck yeah! So she came down with me.
We got a boat, went across the sea, and we went back to that casino. It was really the only piece
of unfinished business from our time together that I had to deal with. LIAM: And that somehow stumbled into all this? SAM: Well, when I got my revenge on them, I
learned a bit about what they were up to. They weren’t really drug dealers. It’s embarrassing,
but the drugs they sold me were not real. I know that’s hard to believe, but I was swindled by
them. LIAM: That is hard to believe. I don’t think it’s
true. SAM: It is true. They sold me a bunch of shit. LIAM: Oh, surely not, no. SAM: But they were in this other game, of selling
counterfeit stuff. So I did the thing that I knew would hurt them most. I took away their
counterfeiter, and now he works for me. So I put them out of business, and I put me into business.
And since then I’ve been doing that for a while, and it turns out I’m very good at it. LIAM: That actually is not surprising. SAM: We don’t try to swindle people who are
innocent. We started off by taking down– well, not taking down, but ripping off a few guys who
were corrupt officials in the city, and built from there. It’s not a big operation, if I can be
honest with you. It’s just me and Kaylie and a few other people. LIAM: I mean, I’m not going to lie, I think it’s
pretty cool. SAM: Thank you. It is kind of cool. I have this
persona, and people know who it is, and when I go places, they’re scared of me a little bit. LIAM: I mean, you did save a fucking continent,
you are scary. SAM: That’s true. LIAM: It is true. SAM: I helped, a bit. LIAM: A bit? You’ve had a year to clear your head,
you think it was just a bit? SAM: I don’t know, maybe. We all did our part. We
all did our part! LIAM: You know there are multiple times we’d all
be dead if it weren’t for you. You know that. You know that! And the same could be said for any of
us, that’s true, but you take any one piece away, and the tower falls. Jenga, man. SAM: I don’t know what that game is. But, I know,
I know. Listen, I did a lot of thinking over the year, and I– Yeah. I appreciate you all much more
now than I did, and I realize that you probably appreciated me, too, but at the time I just didn’t
know. I was so used to being a loner that I didn’t know really how to behave in a group, that’s all.
So I left. LIAM: You know, it was ugly, on all sides, when
you left, but I’ve always understood why you left. I admire it. SAM: Really? LIAM: I wish my dad gave half as much effort as
you have this year. Or I used to. Anyway, you know, we’ve missed you. Everybody has. SAM: That’s not true. LIAM: It is true. And I certainly have, and if I
did anything or said anything to make you feel lonely, I’m sorry. I really am. Fucking missed
you, man. SAM: You don’t have to apologize for anything. It
was me. It was me, and I don’t know if we’ll ever have what we had before, but I can tell you that
fighting alongside you all was the best time of my life, and not because of the glory, or the
fortune, or the fame that we got. It was just to fight alongside you, and to see the looks on your
faces when I did something really cool in battle. LIAM: Fucking every time. I know I miss that
flair. SAM: But you’ve got this new guy, and he seems
really– He’s very handsome. LIAM: Well, I don’t know. Yeah, he’s good looking.
That’s true. I don’t know that we have– I mean, we’ve scattered a bit. I live in Zephra now. SAM: Oh, really? LIAM: I’m on holiday, yeah. SAM: Zephra Heights? LIAM: Pretty much, yeah. It’s all Zephra Heights.
No, I’m very happy right now. SAM: You are happy? LIAM: Yeah. SAM: That’s so weird. LIAM: I know. I was happy for a long time. SAM: But still with the black. You’re not giving
that up. LIAM: I mean, this is, no! This is part of the
bargain. SAM: I mean, some turquoise could pop it up a
little bit. LIAM: Yeah, but you know I have sunshine in my
life every day, so it’s all right. SAM: That’s true. How’s that all going? LIAM: Fucking the best, man! It’s the fucking
best! SAM: Yeah? LIAM: Yeah. But, you know, all I care about is
that you’re happier now than you were. You seem a little happier. SAM: I’m certainly better off than I was when I
left you all. I don’t know that I’m happier, just better off. LIAM: Well, that’s a step up. And Kaylie, is she
better off? SAM: Most certainly. LIAM: Well, that’s great. SAM: Listen, thank you for coming up here and
stuff. I don’t really know what to do with the others. LIAM: Well, again, a lot of hard shit was said on
your way out, in many directions, and the way I look at it, it’s to be expected. We went through
hell together, that’s going to have an effect. But even the ones who are angry at you, they did miss
you. And family doesn’t break apart that easy. Don’t scare away. Just be patient. SAM: I’ll try. LIAM: Clap him on the back of the head. SAM: I can’t reach. LIAM: I can. I love you, man. SAM: You too. I’m sorry. LIAM: It’s good to see you. SAM: We’re not going to play cards, are we? LIAM: I don’t know how to play this game. SAM: Yeah, okay. LIAM: But thanks for the conversation. SAM: Sure. LIAM: That’s been about an hour, I think. SAM: Yeah, you should just go. LIAM: Yeah. SAM: I mean, yeah. LIAM: I walk away. MATT: All righty. All right. If anyone else wants
to do anything else before dinner, or after? MARISHA: I take all the mirrors off the roof of
our bedroom while he talks with Scanlan, and then we go to sleep. MATT: There are mirrors in yours as well? MARISHA: I assume. SAM: I hadn’t intended on it, but there’s
definitely a mirror in there. MATT: All right. Your wonderful exposé on salad
types are presented to you by the spectral servants. A fantastic dinner of greens of all
shades– TRAVIS: Where’s the meat? SAM: There’s lima beans. TALIESIN: Do they serve meat for guests, or is it
just Scanlan that’s barred? LIAM: Not even chicken salad in this mansion? SAM: No, the closest we have is lima beans. LAURA: They know how to make chicken, though, I
know the servants know how to make chicken! SAM: If I have them make chicken, they’ll tell
her, and I’ll get in trouble. TALIESIN: Tell her you didn’t have any. TRAVIS: That’s true. I have an idea. Bring me a
cow. No, I’m kidding. MATT: The spectral servant’s like– SAM: Don’t do it. TRAVIS: It worked once before. SAM: Listen. They make a great cucumber salad.
They’ve got an excellent endive. TRAVIS: What? LAURA: Fabulous. SAM: A couscous. And a tabbouleh. ASHLEY: So, basically, it’s one of those meals
that you’re still hungry when you eat it all. SAM: Yeah, it’s really not filling at all. It’s
terrible. MATT: And he’s not lying. TALIESIN: Do we lose hit points from this meal? LAURA: Oh, shit, did we say that we have to buy
chalices before we have any more fucking feasts? MATT: Yes. LAURA: Shit balls. LIAM: Said Vex. LAURA: We’re out of chalices! ASHLEY: Do we have any chalices in here? SAM: For what? MATT: They’re referring to the Heroes’ Feast meal,
but no. Stuff like that, you stock up on. LAURA: We’ve got to remember. We’ve got to do it. MATT: All right. So the meal is filling to varying
degrees of enjoyment, but you find rest at your disposal. Relatively early into your day, though
it is night in Ank’harel. You guys have been awake for approximately five hours. Do you go to rest? SAM: I mean, if we all rest, when we wake up,
those things are gonna be swarming outside the door, right? LAURA: Yes, potentially, or they could have given
up. What if we just peek out the door and see? SAM: We can do that. LAURA: Yeah. I’m going to peek out the door. MATT: Okay. LAURA: Very stealthily open the door a little bit
and see. Yeah, I’m going to stay inside the door but just look outside the door. MATT: You peek outside the door, and right as you
glance through, you see about 13 or so skeletons that are all clustered right there at the door
going (zombie groans). LAURA: Ah, fuck. Shut it. TALIESIN: I feel like that can wait till morning. LAURA: I think it might keep getting worse, I’m
not sure. SAM: Maybe we should sleep. LIAM: We wait till morning and we throw Pike out
the door. ASHLEY: Yeah, that’s fine. I’ll volunteer. JON: Can they come into this magic door? SAM: No, they have to be invited. JON: They can’t? Are they vampires? LIAM: They’re all bones. JON: Okay. So we’re okay. They can’t come in. SAM: For a while. JON: Is there a back door to this place? SAM: Oh, no. JON: So if we wake up in the morning and there’s
200 of them, then– SAM: We’re fucked. MARISHA: We’re okay. We have Pike. TALIESIN: We have options. JON: What’s Pike going to do? ASHLEY: Undead is my favored terrain. JON: Are you going to talk to them? ASHLEY: I could. But what’s the point? JON: Well, maybe they have secrets. Do you have Commune with Skeletons? MARISHA: Not all skeletons are like ducks. LAURA: Yeah, some of them are a lot meaner. ASHLEY: If we find your friends, I can talk to
them if they’re dead. JON: Maybe they’re unhappy with their employer.
Maybe we can find their good side. LAURA: We could turn some undead. ASHLEY: That’s not a bad idea. JON: I’m sorry, I never talk so much. I’m just
really hungry after that stupid meal. ASHLEY: Same, it’s okay. I feel starving. TALIESIN: Let’s have a nightcap. SAM: They can make you a fruit smoothie. LAURA: Yes. I want that. I do want it. Yes. Bring
it. TALIESIN: That may be breakfast. TRAVIS: That’ll give you the runs, you don’t want
that. MARISHA: Can we put some rum in it? ASHLEY: Can you have eggs, or is that not vegan? SAM: She said vegan. No eggs. LAURA: This fucking sucks. TALIESIN: A shallow ghost of a dinner served by
shallow ghosts of people. I’m ready for a nightcap, and an end of the evening. MATT: So you pull out the various bottles you’ve
stored amongst Grog’s Bag of Holding. Scatter a nightcap amongst those who wish to partake, and
find yourself resting for the evening within the mansion. TALIESIN: To a death in the morning. MARISHA: To a pina colada. LAURA: As we’re walking towards the rooms, can I
pull Pike aside for a second? MATT: Sure. So as you guys are heading off– LAURA: How are you? ASHLEY: Well, I’m fine. I’m just finding myself a
little angry. LAURA: Well, I think it’s reasonable to be angry. ASHLEY: And I’m trying not to be. LAURA: It’s a different side of you. ASHLEY: I know. I don’t like it. But I can’t help
it. What should I do? LAURA: Well. Your emotions are justified. But you
found it in your heart to forgive your family, and they did terrible things to you. Maybe it’s harder
with people that are closer. They cut deeper. ASHLEY: Yeah. I think it’s just because I didn’t
really know them. Maybe it was easier to just let them go, and I wasn’t as angry as I am with him. LAURA: Have you talked to Sarenrae about it? ASHLEY: No. I’m just nervous. I know what she’ll
say, and have me do, and I just want to be– LAURA: You don’t want to do it yet. ASHLEY: I don’t want to do it! I just want to be
mad for a while, I guess, but… I don’t know. I guess just seeing him again. Slowly but surely,
I’m not as mad, but– LAURA: He’s still charming. ASHLEY: I know, I just feel like now I’m acting
like I’m mad, almost, around him. I don’t know. He’s making me feel so many different kinds of
emotions. I’m confused. LAURA: I don’t know what tomorrow will bring.
Probably a battle of some sort, which is usually life-endangering. Just ask yourself if you would
want to die without saying how you feel. ASHLEY: Okay. That’s a good idea. I would feel
very bad if something happened to him and I didn’t say anything. I mean, if I died, then I just
wouldn’t know, I guess. LAURA: You’d know a few minutes later when we
tried to bring you back. I just spit on you, I’m sorry. ASHLEY: It’s fine, I don’t care. Okay. Well,
that’s true. Thank you. LAURA: It’s hard. ASHLEY: I know. It is hard. LAURA: Well, you know, if you feel like staying up
and wandering around and talking to some people– TALIESIN: I come running up. No, now. We’re going.
Good night. Good night! Now! Now. No more. Good night! ASHLEY: Well, good night. TALIESIN: Good night! ASHLEY: Okay. Well, good night, you two. LAURA: We haven’t been here in a while. TALIESIN: I know. I kind of want to break a few
things. You’ve earned it, fucker. ASHLEY: I go and I knock on Grog’s door. MATT: Okay. Grog doesn’t have a door, Grog is
currently staying in the war room area. ASHLEY: Oh, that’s right. MATT: So as you head down, you see, curled up on
the sand pit, this half-orc snoring loudly, like a golden retriever that had rotated twice and passed
out in the sand. Grog, what are you doing? TRAVIS: I’m like the dog that’s staring at the cat
that stole its fucking bed. JON: Can’t argue with the dibs policy. TRAVIS: It’s supreme. It’s absolute. It’s binding
in all planes. JON: All barbarians understand it. It’s the law. ASHLEY: I stand next to him and stare at Chod–
Lionel in the sand pit. TRAVIS: This is bullshit, right? Everything I had,
everything I was, right there. Just another one. ASHLEY: Grog, I know that you probably feel
replaced, but there’s no way he could fill your shoes. TRAVIS: I mean, he’s big! Look at those feet! It’s
like clown feet! I bet he’s a great swimmer. ASHLEY: He could– I mean, but his feet are a
little bit too big, you know. TRAVIS: Yeah, too big. ASHLEY: Your feet are just right. TRAVIS: Right. Mm-hm. ASHLEY: I have an idea. How about we go get a
bunch of blankets, the ones out of my room. We’ll just make a fort by the fireplace. We’ll make a
better spot. TRAVIS: A new spot. Yeah, okay. ASHLEY: I just talked to Vex, and she said that
maybe if something were to happen tomorrow, maybe it would be better to just say some things, so
that you’re not, you know, thinking about it if somebody dies. TRAVIS: Is somebody dying tomorrow? ASHLEY: No. TRAVIS: Are you going to die? Pike, you mean the
world to me. Listen, I couldn’t go on– ASHLEY: I’ll be fine, I promise. Just, I guess,
Scanlan. TRAVIS: What? ASHLEY: Maybe, do you feel like you want to talk
to him? TRAVIS: No! Yes. No! ASHLEY: I think I’m angry with him, but I can tell
you’re also angry with him. TRAVIS: Yeah! ASHLEY: So I’ll stay mad at him as long as you
are. TRAVIS: Really? ASHLEY: But I feel like maybe he feels a little
bad. TRAVIS: Are you sure? I can’t tell. He changed the
inside of the mansion. He’s got a new dog sleeping in the sandpit. He called him his best man. You
heard it. I did. ASHLEY: That was weird. TRAVIS: Yeah. It’s fucked up, is what it was. ASHLEY: Well, you know what we should do? We
should just tomorrow– TRAVIS: Kill him. ASHLEY: That’s definitely an option, but I feel
like maybe we could just try to be better than him. Maybe you could really show off, and show him
that you are better, and that we’re better, and we’re better friends, and you know, that he should
come back and hang out with us. TRAVIS: Yeah! No, I like this idea. This is really
something we can roll with! Yeah! He should miss us! In fact, he should be coming to beg us to be
like, I miss you! You’re so cool! ASHLEY: He should! TRAVIS: Yeah! We’ve got to make him remember. ASHLEY: We’ve got to make him remember. TRAVIS: Yep. ASHLEY: We’ve got to make him remember how great
we are and what he’s lost. TRAVIS: Yeah. So tomorrow, all the tricks out the
bag, throw caution to the wind, you and me, it’s a show. ASHLEY: All the tricks. TRAVIS: Yeah. JON: I suddenly wake up. You guys, I’m used to
sleeping alone. You guys are talking so much. ASHLEY: Oh, sorry, we didn’t realize you were
awake. TRAVIS: Just roll over. If you pile the sand up,
you make little earmuffs. JON: It’s not working, I’m used to silence, and
you guys are like two alarms. TRAVIS: We’re going to go. We go make a blanket
fort. ASHLEY: We make a blanket fort by the fireplace. TRAVIS: Yeah. JON: Thank you! MATT: All right. As you guys go make a blanket
fort, curl up and sleep takes you. The next morning, you come to consciousness, are greeted
with a fantastic, spiritually brought, vegan breakfast. LAURA: Ooh, but like an acai bowl? SAM: Yeah, sure. Yeah, that’s a thing. MATT: There you go, so it picks up the second day!
There you go. LAURA: Is there granola? TRAVIS: It doesn’t pick up. Don’t defend this
shit! MATT: Comparatively! TRAVIS: Just because it’s sweet doesn’t mean that
it’s savory or satisfying. MATT: Fair enough. JON: There’s nothing sticking it together, so it’s
just loose. TALIESIN: It’s only the things that make granola
good that make it not vegan. JON: Exactly. It’s just all loose. TRAVIS: Any proteins that used to have a
heartbeat, in any way? No? Yeah, fuck it. LIAM: This is a world of magic and delight! LAURA: It’s going to catch up when you burp really
good. MARISHA: But we have a sound guy who’s like– LAURA: But what if I want it to catch when I
burp? MARISHA: That’s what sound guys do. MATT: That’s how it works? Okay. So what’s the
plan, guys? LIAM: Stay in the mansion forever. MATT: Yeah. JON: Let’s take a look again. ASHLEY: Can I peek out the door? TRAVIS: Pike and I go to peek out the door,
because we’re not eating shit vegan breakfast. MATT: Okay. You peek out into the hallway, and
there before you, you see about 20 or so armored skeletons that are all clustered into this
hallway, maybe five feet between a few of them, but they’re scattered throughout, they’re just in
this holding pattern. TRAVIS: What do you see? ASHLEY: There’s just 20 or so skeletons out
there. TRAVIS: This is the perfect opportunity! ASHLEY: This is the perfect opportunity. Maybe we
take care of it ourselves? TRAVIS: I’m saying! You lead the way! ASHLEY: Let’s do it. TRAVIS: Do it. SAM: Oh, shit. TALIESIN: Oh, shit. MARISHA: I approve of this so hard. SAM: Wait, we’re all still eating breakfast? MATT: You guys are eating breakfast, wondering
where Pike and Grog are. TRAVIS: Before we break through the door, I should
yell something like, Pike, don’t be so brave! ASHLEY: Okay, you can yell, Pike, don’t be so
brave, and then I can say something like, but Grog, you’re too strong! I don’t know, let me
workshop it. TRAVIS: Yeah. ASHLEY: Grog, you’re too strong! You’re too
strong, you’re just going to kill them all anyway. TRAVIS: This is true. ASHLEY: Should we just wing it? TRAVIS: Yeah, just what happens. ASHLEY: Okay, ready? TRAVIS: On the count of what? ASHLEY: On the count of three. TRAVIS: I can do that. ASHLEY: I know you can! TRAVIS: All right. ASHLEY: Okay. I’m going to get my mace ready. MATT: Okay. TRAVIS: I have my blood axe. LIAM: Back at the breakfast table, just before
they make whatever loud sound they’re doing: It’s good, it’s almond milk, but I like cream a little
bit (explosion). MATT: Yep, suddenly you guys hear– What do they
hear? TRAVIS: One. ASHLEY: Two. Three. TRAVIS: Oh, that’s it, yeah. Three! MATT: All right. Scanlan, because this is your
mansion, you feel the door, suddenly, you sense the breaching of the front door opening. SAM: Oh, God. The door’s open. ASHLEY: Grog, you’re so strong! TRAVIS: Oh, Pike, you’re so brave! LAURA: Oh, shit. TRAVIS: You put yourself before others! LAURA: I take off running. ASHLEY: I’m going to start swinging my mace. MATT: You guys all of a sudden drop your meals and
start charging out. The door’s already open, and it’s vacant. You guys, as you charge out, all of a
sudden you watch as ten of these creatures (zombie snarling) and leap towards you. What are you
doing, Pike? ASHLEY: I start swinging my Mace of Disruption.
Can I just do this as I go through? MATT: You’ll still do attacks, but they’ll get
attacks on you as you go back and forth. ASHLEY: Yeah. MATT: You rush forward. Go ahead and make your
attack. Is it, as a war– do you have two attacks? As a bonus action, you can attack, right? ASHLEY: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! I
forgot, I haven’t done this in a minute with undead! Okay. LAURA: What does the Mace of Disruption do to
undead? LIAM: Area of effect, y’all. MATT: No, no, it just hits targets. It’s the other
one does. ASHLEY: It says when you hit a fiend or undead
with this magic weapon, the creature takes an extra 2d6 radiant damage. MATT: Yep. ASHLEY: So. Oh, okay. So 17 and 22. MATT: 17 and 22 both hit. Go ahead and roll damage
for each, with the additional disruption damage. ASHLEY: Okay, so, I don’t have all of the dice
out. LAURA: See, this is why you take the time at the
beginning to organize. MATT: I know. Grog, while this is happening,
you’re also charging in with her and you’re attacking? TRAVIS: Yeah, Great Weapon Master with the blood
axe. MATT: Go ahead and make your two attacks with it. ASHLEY: So with undead I also roll an additional
2d6, so am I doing four? How many? MATT: You would do additional damage as part of
your cleric’s war– ASHLEY: Okay, so 1d6, plus 2d8. MATT: Is the additional disruption damage? ASHLEY: Is just one strike. Sorry, I haven’t done
this in a while. MATT: All right, so as a war domain cleric, you
can make a weapon attack as a bonus action, up to your wisdom modifier per day, so that’s one use
there. And you deal an additional 1d8 weapon damage on the attack, so it’s– How much damage
does your mace do? ASHLEY: 1d6 plus six and 2d8 is what I have
written down. LAURA: For Divine Strike. ASHLEY: For Divine Strike. MATT: Correct, yes. Yeah, because you reached 14th
level. So yeah, it’s plus 2d8. You got it. 1d6 plus 2d8 plus whatever the disruption damage is. ASHLEY: Okay, so 18. MATT: 18 damage on the first hit? You slam the
mace into the side of a skeleton, and it crushes a lot of the bone, and a lot of it just seems to
erode away as the divine flash impacts it, and you watch as the bleached white turns to gray and
black. However, it still stands, largely wrecked, but still (zombie snarling). And your second
attack, you hit the same one? ASHLEY: Yep. MATT: All right, go ahead and roll damage for that
one. ASHLEY: Okay. 14. MATT: All right, that one (whack) you hit the side
of the skull, and the head just turns into dust to the side. The bones collapse into a pile. You
destroyed one skeleton out of about 20 or so. Grog, what are you doing? TRAVIS: I did my first attack, it was a 26, and so
was the second one, both with Great Weapon Master. MATT: Both hit with Great Weapon Master. Go ahead
and roll damage. TRAVIS: The first one was 26 damage. MATT: You completely destroy a skeleton in one
hit. It turns into a scattering of bone (shatter) across the wall. TRAVIS: That’s what up. ASHLEY: Grog, it’s so crazy how strong you are!
They’re all dying! TRAVIS: I know, but I only do it to protect my
friends! And the second one is 39 points of damage. MATT: And with that second hit, a second skeleton
that’s leaping towards you, with a giant scimitar in the air and a buckler around the side of its
wrist, (zombie snarling), you just batter-up swing it, and it explodes across and rains down upon
you. Pike, a couple of the bones hit your armor, fall to the side. TRAVIS: With my bonus action, can I go into a rage
and go, I kill these skeletons because I would never replace a friend like you! ASHLEY: I know, Grog! MATT: All right, and so as you guys are rushing
into the doorway, the skeletons immediately turn and swarm in. That’s going to be five attacks on
each of you within this range here. So, against Pike. LAURA: Quick, use your spells! MATT: All right, so it misses Pike. Misses Pike.
God, misses Pike. Misses Pike. And a 20. What’s your AC? ASHLEY: My AC is 23. MATT: 23. All of them leap onto you, but they
can’t get through the armor. They’re all clustered up around you, they’re piled up almost, like
you’re just being dogpiled by skeletons, and while none of them are getting to your flesh, there are
all these skulls biting in front of your face as you’re holding them back with your shield and
mace. Grog. Miss. Natural one, miss. Two, miss. 20? TRAVIS: That hits. MATT: And 21? TRAVIS: Also hits. MATT: All right. So, you take 22 points of
slashing damage, reduced to 11, from the two attacks together. As both of these skeletons just
start hacking into you with their weapons. One has a long sword, one has what looks to be some sort
of a war pick and is just, both of them, jamming into your flesh, and you just take it without an
issue. All right. You guys all rush to the door and you look out and you can see this group of
undead there, swarming your two friends. You get there just– Well, you start preparing for the
round. They’re going first. Pike, what are you doing? ASHLEY: I’m going to Guiding Bolt down the
hallway. Towards the rest of the skeletons. MATT: Guiding Bolt can only hit one target. ASHLEY: Oh shit! MATT: Yeah, the area effects that you have are
your Turn Undead or Destroy Undead, or any of the spells that you have. LAURA: Destroy Undead! ASHLEY: Oh yeah, Destroy Undead. Fuck, I forgot
about– Sorry, it’s been a minute since I’ve been around them. Okay, yeah, Destroy Undead. LIAM: Come on, cleric. MATT: Okay. So you are– ASHLEY: It’s been a minute. MATT: Yeah. You’re a 17th level cleric now? 16th
level? What level are you? ASHLEY: I think 16th level. I don’t know if I’ve
leveled. MATT: Yeah, 16th level. So, CR 3 or lower. These
are definitely there. All right. All righty. So, you’re going to affect with that, in a radial area
here, which is a radius of 30 feet. That’s going to affect 15 of these undead. LAURA: Nice! MATT: Within the ones that are piled on you, that
piled on Grog, and the ones that are swarming behind. What’s your spell DC? ASHLEY: 18. MATT: Okay. Rolled an 18, but it’s a minus one. LAURA: Yay. Do you roll for all 15? MATT: Mm-hm. LIAM: Here he goes. Math. Still math. MATT: Oh, no, that one survived. LIAM: More math. LAURA: Don’t confuse him. It’s a lot to keep track
of. Hey guys, we have these amazing art prints by David Mack. MATT: Almost done. ASHLEY: Oh fuck, are they all making it? MATT: All right. So, out of the 15, two survive.
As you’re held down by all of these skeletons, suddenly this beacon of divine, bright flame
begins to burst from you. And you watch as the flaming wings of Sarenrae swirl up out of her like
a phoenix. And as it does, you see above her the image of the dark skin, light flaming hair
Sarenrae embodying her like a JoJo stand, as it takes this pose. And as soon as Pike brings her
arms out and screams (yells), the image bursts out and you watch as every skeleton practically in
that radius just turns to ash and dust in the vicinity, leaving two skeletons there, that are
like (breathy groan). So there’s maybe four of them left in the whole tunnel, from that one
burst. TRAVIS: Damn! LAURA: I nudge Scanlan. TRAVIS: That was amazing. ASHLEY: Do you think Scanlan saw? TRAVIS: Yeah, how could he miss it? SAM: I’m at the door. TRAVIS: (voice breaking) You and me against the
world, huh? ASHLEY: You and me, Grog. We’re so loyal to each
other. TRAVIS: Yep, to the end. Best friends. ASHLEY: Best friends till the end. MATT: Grog, what are you doing? TRAVIS: I’m hitting things. MATT: All right, so you rush up to the two. LIAM: I walk back to the kitchen and start
clearing people’s plates. MATT: Okay. (laughter) SAM: I’ll step out into the fray just to watch. TRAVIS: A regular strike, 25. MATT: Hits. TRAVIS: Ooh, and a 17. MATT: Yeah, they all hit. TRAVIS: That’s as low as I can roll. MATT: 17 is a low for you. TRAVIS: I know. 16 points of damage on the first
one. MATT: All right, first hit, it smacks into the
side and breaks part of its upper shoulder and upper arm. It cuts off one of its arms, but it’s
still standing there in front of you. TRAVIS: That’s embarrassing. I use the second
strike on the same skeleton and hope Scanlan didn’t notice. SAM: I saw. (laughter) TRAVIS: Fuck. 15 points of damage. MATT: 15 points of damage does destroy the
skeleton, the one that’s giving you a hard time. This time you just cleave through the center of
its spinal column and torso. It tumbles over and just scatters into a pile of bones. TRAVIS: Yeah. He saw it, didn’t he? I fucked it
up. He saw it and my whole plan’s gone to shit. ASHLEY: So much is happening at once, he can’t
see, he didn’t see. MATT: All right, so. Vex, you’re at the door.
Scanlan, you’re at the door. You’re at the door, Lionel. What are you guys doing? LAURA: I sh– I’m going to hold it. MATT: There’s three skeletons still standing. LAURA: All right, I’ll shoot one of the
skeletons. MATT: Go for it. Roll for attack. Lionel, what are
you doing? JON: I’m just like: it’s cool. I’m just watching.
I forget, you know– MATT: Okay. JON: But then I see and I’m like: Oh, I got them.
So I think it’s now time to impress Grog a little bit, because he knows– He goes into a rage. MATT: All right, so you go into a rage. Pull your
great sword? JON: My what? (laughter) MATT: All right, so you’re charging out. What did
you roll? LAURA: Oh, I just decided maybe I shouldn’t hit
them, though. MATT: All right, so you go to fire and then pull
the arrow back. LAURA: Because I rolled a one. (laughter) MATT: Oh. JON: Wait a second. LAURA: Oh no, it’s the chicken-Scanlan incident
all over again. MATT: So what happens is, you go and release it,
and you just mis-strung it (sound of rope snapping), and you’re like: Oh, I just didn’t– LAURA: You know what? I’m going to leave it. It’s
for them. TRAVIS: She’s got the bruise on the– MATT: Yeah. So you rush up alongside Grog at the
three skeletons that are there. LAURA: I got a blood blister on my arm. JON: I roll this? TALIESIN: Yeah, and you add the attack bonus of
your great sword, which is right in the center. JON: Plus 12. TALIESIN: Oh, natural 20! MATT: Oh, critical hit on the first hit? TRAVIS: Motherfucker. MATT: All right, so that hits. Roll the second
attack. SAM: He’s so strong. LAURA: Don’t say that! TALIESIN: Another?! What?! What?! JON: Another 20. MATT: Did you roll two 20s in a row? TALIESIN: Oh my god. JON: He’s raging, dude, and he’s had a really
great sleep in the sand. SAM: I’ve never seen anyone so strong and powerful
before. TALIESIN: He doesn’t even understand what just
happened. JON: Are you getting turned on? SAM: Yes! MATT: You’re honing Vin Diesel right now with this
crit power. JON: Well, he’s finally– He likes these guys, he
wants to finally show off and do something cool. TALIESIN: Travis just aged a year. LAURA: Oh no. MATT: So you rush forward to the first skeleton.
Roll 2d6. TALIESIN: Roll 4d6. MATT: Yeah, roll 4d6. TALIESIN: Roll four of these. JON: Which ones? Okay. TALIESIN: And I think you get to reroll. JON: I have to roll the two dice. TALIESIN: Yeah, roll those and add two more. Or
roll them twice. Yeah, there you go. Four of those. MATT: And then you get to reroll any ones or twos. TALIESIN: Oh my god! TRAVIS: What? Are they all fucking sixes? JON: Is that a six? TALIESIN: That’s a six. JON: Six, six, three, three. MATT: Okay, so 12, 18 plus? TRAVIS: Percy, take your hand off of him. JON: No, he needs the help. MATT: So as you rush forward with your greatsword,
big smile on your face, next to Grog. Whack! You just shatter one skeleton with the first attack.
Roll damage for the second attack. TALIESIN: All four. MATT: All four again. SAM: Six. That one’s cocked, reroll it. Six. (laughter) TRAVIS: I’m leaving. I’m going away. JON: And I’m like: Grog, look at this, this is
awesome! I think I’m channeling you. TRAVIS: (strained voice) Yep. Real impressive. MATT: You just, one skeleton, the other comes
jumping at you and you just grab it in your hand and crush its skull in your hand. TRAVIS: (strained voice) That was real cool. JON: And then I go: Look, I’m a gymnast! (laughter) JON: With all the chalk and everything. LIAM: You’ve got to appreciate that, Travis. TRAVIS: (strained voice) It was a good moment.
That was really impressive. MATT: Percy. You want to do anything? TALIESIN: I’m just going to sit next to Vex and I
think we’re just going to stand and let this happen. MATT: So Pike, Grog, Lionel, you’re right there,
there’s one skeleton left that’s like (breathy hiss). And it leaps at you, since you just crushed
its friend. And it hits you on your breastplate and just goes (metal ringing out sound) (breathy
hiss). That’s all it does. It’s a sad sight. JON: Look, it’s doing the Duck Flail to me. It’s
not as good, but that is what he’s doing. MATT: All right, who wants to finish this poor
thing? ASHLEY: Finish him, Grog, finish it. TRAVIS: I’m broken on the inside. Did you see that
display? ASHLEY: Grog, I need your help! TRAVIS: (yells) Reckless, Great Weapon Master. (laughter) MATT: Go for it, Grog. TRAVIS: A one?! TALIESIN: Yes! TRAVIS: A one?!! (laughter and yelling) ASHLEY: Can I War God’s Bless it? MATT: A natural one is an auto fail. I cannot– I
cannot– TRAVIS: What is going on?! (laughter) MATT: As you look at the one skeleton, just
feeling this embarrassment, you swing with your axe and the skeleton (metal impact sound) stops it
with its own blade and parries the axe to the side. The one that just didn’t barely dent his
armor. JON: And then I say: It’s okay, Grog. Everybody
messes up sometimes, let me get this one. (laughter) JON: Can I roll? MATT: Yeah. TALIESIN: That’s a nine. SAM: As he rolls, I will inspire him. JON: Nine plus 12, that’s 21. 22! SAM: I’m going to sing– Oh well, that’s fine,
that’s fine. MATT: So that hits. Go ahead and roll damage. Just
2d6 plus seven. Well, plus your– TALIESIN: Just two. JON: Oh, okay. SAM: Okay, that’s not as good. MATT: Well, it’s plus seven, plus your rage
damage. So it’s plus ten. SAM: To this? 15. TALIESIN: No, plus seven also. MATT: Plus ten to whatever he rolled there. SAM: Five plus ten. MATT: All right, so 20 points. So as you hack down
this other skeleton, you cut into it and it destroys part of its torso. Its arm that’s holding
its weapon is hanging to the side, but it’s still standing. Its jaw is unhinged. TALIESIN: You get another shot, don’t you? MATT: Yep. So you attack again. TALIESIN: Yeah, attack again. JON: Four? TALIESIN: 16? MATT: 16 still hits. It’s a skeleton. That’s
enough. You finish it off. You destroy the other skeleton in two hits. JON: That was kind of a tough one, I get it. It’s
okay. That was a really hard skeleton. But he’s dead now. Let’s go– ASHLEY: We had it. We just– We had it. JON: Can we eat these skeletons, because that
breakfast is still blowing. ASHLEY: Yes you can. Give it a bite. Give it a
bite. JON: Is there any meat left on those bones? SAM: Chod, that was amazing. You slew those
skeletons like they were nothing. Incredible. JON: Oh, I just do whatever I can for my friends.
You guys are all awesome and I’m just glad I could be of service and help. SAM: Yes. It’s good to have someone like you by
our side. JON: Awesome! ASHLEY: I walk back inside of the mansion. TRAVIS: I take out the giant cask of ale and I
just… MATT: Just chug it. SAM: Are you drinking it or just pouring it all
over you? TRAVIS: Both. LIAM: I come out with fresh coffee for Percy and
Keyleth. What happened? TALIESIN: It was beautiful, terrible. I’m not
entirely sure. ASHLEY: Chod saved the day. Chod saved the day. TALIESIN: Well, really, he cleaned up after you
two finished it all off. ASHLEY: He did. He did. TALIESIN: He swept up. LAURA: That was a lot of skeletons that you
killed, Pike, with that spell. That was really good. TALIESIN: You and Grog were most of the skeletons,
easily. ASHLEY: Yeah. SAM: Are we all back in the mansion? MATT: You’re all back in the mansion, now. LIAM: Why is it so tense in here all of a sudden? SAM: I think I know what’s going on. ASHLEY: I don’t know what happened. SAM: Grog. Grog, Pike, can I say something? I feel
like there’s some tension between us and we need to clear the air if we’re going to go fight today.
You guys are really bad today. Well. And I think it’s because I haven’t made you feel at ease. So
can I please just take a moment before we go out there and just, for once and for all, say I’m
sorry to you guys for what I did and how I left things. I said things that were really cruel and
meant to hurt you, and that’s wrong and I’ll probably regret it for the rest of my life. But I
needed to go and I just didn’t know how to express myself. And I’m so sorry that I insulted you.
Pike, I’ve said awful things to you for as long as we’ve known each other, and I can’t take them
back, but I can at least try to be a better person. And can I confess something to you? During
the last year, I’ve– I think I’ve been praying. I mean, I just talk at night and nobody hears me,
but I guess that’s praying, right? And sometimes I talk to Sarenrae, because that’s the only one I
know. And she seems cool. And she seems like someone who could be a good guide. And it feels
good. And I even wrote a little poem about her and about her teachings. It’s very simple, but can I
tell you it? ASHLEY: Let’s hear. SAM: It’s really simple. It goes: “Everybody
people, everybody bleed, everybody need something. “Everybody love, everybody know, how it go.” I know
it’s stupid, but there’s a certain Logic to it. ASHLEY: Certain Logic to it. That actually makes a
lot of sense. SAM: It makes me feel connected to you guys, even
though you’re not there. So I say that to myself every night before I go to sleep. ASHLEY: It just makes you feel connected to
Everybody people. SAM: Yeah. ASHLEY: Yeah. SAM: And Grog. TRAVIS: No, stop. SAM: I can’t apologize to you, because words don’t
work. TRAVIS: So, let me get this straight. You think
you can go away for a year, and come back,in adisguise,and apologize to this group, and that’s
going to be good enough for me? And then when I’m still pissed, you’re going to give me a combo
apology with Pike, and that’s going to be good enough for me? I’m still pissed. You came back in
a costume. A costume! I’m not even really that smart, it’s not hard to trick me. And I’m a big
guy, but you made me feelsmall.I don’t know if you missed us; I don’t know if somebody is making
us go down into this Zigga-fuck. ASHLEY: (whispers) Ziggurat. TRAVIS: Ziggurat. I don’t even know why we’re
here. I thought maybe you’d come back and be like, oh my best mate, the guy that would do anything to
keep me alive, there he is, I missed him. No. You come back, you’ve found yourself a brand new
idiot. One that does amazing strikes, twice in a row. And talks to ducks. Has all sorts of new
tricks, brand new model, new and improved in every way. I bet you do all sorts of fun things with
him. So no. You do not get to apologize to me. SAM: I wasn’t going to. I was just going to give
you a gift. Because the times we had together were the best times ever. You might be a little slow.
But you’re the best friend I ever had. And our times together were great, not because of our
conversations, or our witty repartee. It was because of the fun we had together and the
experiences we had. So last night, I wrote something for you. I know you can’t read, but– LAURA: Hecanread. TRAVIS: No, Vex. He doesn’t know that. SAM: I just got you a gift. Because if you won’t
spend time with me now, maybe you’ll be able to spend time on your own. So I wrote you this. Maybe
someone else can read it for him. ASHLEY: He might be able to read it, Scanlan. LAURA: It depends on if there are long words. SAM: There’s really long words. TRAVIS: It’s a big word. It’s a bit– ASHLEY: Well, just give it a try. TRAVIS: Aoo, ooh, shh. SAM: Nope. Nope. TRAVIS: (whispering) I’m really embarrassed. I’m
really embarrassed. ASHLEY: (whispering) I’ll whisper it to you, then
you say it out loud. TRAVIS: (clears throat) Yeah, I don’t feel like
showing off my powers. I can’t read the dirty hand of betrayal. ASHLEY: All who read this, let it be known, by
order of Aes Adon– it’s a stupid name, Scanlan. But it’s fine. SAM: It’s Elvish. LIAM: It’s a stupid name. ASHLEY: AKA the Meat Man, AKA Vicoul the Vicious,
AKA Reddish the Bold, AKA the Little Paws, AKA François Bertrand Jean-Luc Australia, be aware
that the bearer of this note, Grog Strongjaw, shall be entitled to any libation of his choosing
at any pub, tavern, restaurant, inn, alehouse, brewery, or house of lady favors within the city
limits of Ank’Harel. He shall be allowed to drink until drunk, and enjoy no molestation by any
employee of said establishment, unless he requests it. All charges and bills related to his drinking,
cavorting, or violent behavior resulting from drunkenness, shall be forwarded to the Meat Man
for timely payment in full. By complying with this request, you are hereby under the protection of
the Meat Man, and shall receive all the benefits and goodwill accompanying such association. The
Meat Man always remembers. Sincerely, Aes Adon. TRAVIS: Probably best to test it out. See if it’s
even worth anything. SAM: Grog, I love you. I’m sorry that we won’t get
to hang out, because you hate me now. But I would never replace you. And if you ask me right now– TRAVIS: You’ll kill him? SAM: I will kill him. JON: Who? (hushed laughter) TALIESIN: (quietly) I wouldn’t worry about it. JON: Okay. I really like this job. TRAVIS: He’s all right. (hushed laughter) SAM: Will you go drinking with me some time? TRAVIS: We’ll see. By the way, I want you to know:
when you died, I sang a song I would never sing for anyone else, and I’m sorry you didn’t hear it,
but it was really hard. SAM: Is that true? LAURA and LIAM: Yes. SAM: He sang? TALIESIN: Yes. JON: Do a truthful check. LAURA: Do you know what he sang? SAM: A truthful check? Sure, I’ll roll a truthful
check. MATT: An insight check? Okay. SAM: Natural 20. LAURA: Whoa. MATT: Honest as the day, or Grog dick is long, he
apparently sang. TRAVIS: It is, I can just lean forward. MARISHA: Happy 100th. MATT: Happy 100th. (laughter) LAURA: Grog, I didn’t hear it. Maybe you should
sing it, and let him know what it was. TRAVIS: Oh, you know, it’s like the face of death
in the hallway, once it uses up its power, it’s done. SAM: I’m so sorry I missed it. And I hope someday
we’ll sing together, in a drunken stupor together. Maybe that will remind you. TRAVIS: Maybe. SAM: I was an asshole, Grog, I’m sorry. I would
never, never replace you, ever. You’re irreplaceable. ASHLEY: And he could’ve read this, by the way. SAM: That’s incredible. TRAVIS: I would’ve gotten the name right. MARISHA: Wait, did you frame it like a coupon
book? That’s very impressive. SAM: I had some time last night. ASHLEY: Coupons, that you can sort of pick out of
it like a– LAURA: A free massage. MARISHA: Like a couple on Valentine’s Day. Who
forgot it was Valentine’s Day. ASHLEY: It looks like there’s a free steak. SAM: Listen, we need to go kill some things right
now, but I just want to say to all of you, I’m so sorry the way I left, it was awful of me.
Percival, I said awful things to you, I said awful things to all of you. But just know I’ve done and
said worse things to Kaylee, and she’s forgiven me, and I’ve done and said worse things to myself,
and I’ve managed to forgive myself, and I hope that someday, you’ll all be able to forgive me.
And until then, I’ll just keep trying, and that’s all I can do. And after this fight, if you want me
to stay, and you guys go home, that’s fine. But if not, maybe we can start over. MATT: Vex, Vax, Keyleth. At this moment, you hear
what sounds like footsteps making their way up the tunnel. Not where the light was before, but the
path you previously stepped from. MARISHA: Does it sound like skeletons, or
heavier? MATT: From just your passing hearing, it just
sounds like patterned footsteps. LAURA: I cast Pass Without a Trace on everybody. MATT: Okay. LIAM: Everybody quiet down. MARISHA: We’re inside a glowing door, I think they
know where we are. MATT: So, you guys all close the door to the
mansion. LAURA: Well, I don’t want to close the door to the
mansion, but turn out the lights in the mansion so you can’t see. MARISHA: No one’s home! We’re out of candy, no
trick-or-treating. MATT: Up the hall, you watch as two humanoid
figures with hoods are carrying each side of what looks like a chest or a crate that has handles.
They just pass and then continue going. SAM: (whispering) You’ve seen that? You’ve seen
that? Those are the guys? JON: (whispering) Those are the guys. SAM: (whispering) We should kill him. Let’s go
kill them. LIAM: (whispering) Can I murder one first? TALIESIN: (whispering) Yes. LIAM: (whispering) Thank you. LAURA: (whispering) Wait, I shoot– MATT: You’re still inside the mansion. LIAM: I thought she said the door was just barely
open. MATT: Yeah, but they’re not walking by; you made
the door way back in the tunnel. You see them up toward the T-juncture. So you guys would have to
leave the mansion and get there quickly. LAURA: Shit. We sneak out. We sneak out and shoot
them from behind. MATT: All right, stealth check for those who are
moving forward. SAM: Maybe we should all go. LIAM: Now, wait a second. LAURA: If you feel like it, you can go. This is a
team. TRAVIS: You Pass-Without-a-Traced us, right? LAURA: Yeah. MATT: Those who are moving forward, stealth
check? LIAM: 43. MATT: Happy hundredth. MARISHA: 24. LAURA: 27. MATT: Anybody else moving forward with them? TALIESIN: I’m a little bit behind them. 28. SAM: Wait, are we all going? MATT: Up to you guys. Whoever’s going? SAM: Did everyone else leave? JON: 20. SAM: If he’s going, I’m going. TALIESIN: I’m behind you guys. SAM: Natural 20. LIAM: Twins are in the front. TALIESIN: Yeah, we’re letting them go first. JON: Oh, I’m behind, but I’m going. MATT: You do have advantage on your stealth
checks because of your boots, Pike. MARISHA: Table right is hanging back behind the
twins. ASHLEY: 16. LAURA: Plus ten? ASHLEY: Oh, 26! MATT: All right, everyone got above 20. SAM: Taryon’s still asleep. LAURA: No! MATT: Taryon is still asleep. Okay. All right, so.
You carefully move forward. The twins, you, at full stealthing pace, make it up to the corner,
and as you crest around the side, about 20, 25 feet up, you see the two humanoid figures with
hoods that come to a underoff point that hangs to one side. Looks like a leathery or rubbery
substance from the little bit of light that’s coming through, it’s hard to really tell. They’re
wearing long black cloth, like a tunic, and what looks to be dark leather or thick black cloth,
pants and boots. LAURA: Pants and boots and pants. MATT: Boots and pants and boots and pants. Not
gloved hands, but they’re both just carrying this chest along, they’re just quietly moving along. LAURA: I bramble shot one of them. LIAM: (dagger throwing noise) MATT: Okay, so, roll for your attack. On the
one that’s closest to you, or further? LIAM: On the left. MATT: Well, they’re both moving away from you. LAURA and LIAM: Oh. LIAM: Well, you’re further. LAURA: I’ll go for the further one. TRAVIS: Please both be old people. (laughter) LAURA: Should I roll two for attack? MATT: Yeah, because they do not know you’re there,
so you have advantage. LAURA: Ooh. LIAM: 29. MATT: That hits. LIAM: And this is assassinate, critical hit. MATT: Yes it is, it’s an auto crit. LAURA: So, Oh! I’m an assassin too! MATT: Correct. LAURA: So I get an automatic? MATT: Auto crit. If you’re a level three, you do.
So both you guys auto crit. LAURA: Sweet!! Ooh, so I double all my dice? MATT: Yep, including the bramble shot. LAURA: Oh shit! TALIESIN: That’s the end of both of them. It’s
going to be a cadaver and a fern. MARISHA: Oh, new chest. We could put our blankets
in it. TALIESIN: I’m working on a quilt. MARISHA: I was going to say, the quilt from your
grandmother. JON: This thing must be worth them dying for. LAURA: 66 on the first hit. MATT: 66 damage? LAURA: For the arrow, yeah. LIAM: 78 on the first hit. LAURA: Oh wait, I didn’t do my sneak attack
damage! (cackling) JON: They can just obliterate anything? TALIESIN: Yeah, they’re monsters. LIAM: And I use a bonus action for an offhand
attack. And I got a critical on it. I rolled a 20. MATT: You rolled a 20 on the second one? Okay.
Roll damage on that. LAURA: 76 for the first hit. MATT: Okay. In an instant– don’t worry about the
second attack, critical damage. Both of them just go– (footsteps) (thud) (laughter) ASHLEY: What’s in the box? TRAVIS: What’s in the box? MATT: You lift up the box– LAURA: We check it for traps. MATT: Okay, investigation check. LIAM: Let’s both check. LAURA: Okay. LIAM: Natural 20. MATT: What the fuck? You guys tonight. Talk about
the hundredth episode mojo here. Unless you’re Grog. Sorry, buddy. TRAVIS: Fucking leave it in the past! MATT: All righty, so. Who rolled investigation on
that one? LAURA: He did. MATT: What did you get? LIAM: 20. MATT: 20. Natural, oh that’s right, (blows
raspberry) I’m stupid. Yeah, no, it is not trapped, it’s not locked, it’s just closed. LIAM: Spick and span. MATT: Inside you see what looks like a polished
stone of smooth jade that is affixed to a grey leather band that loops in the back. You see a
scimitar, a very well-made scimitar, that has a series of pearlescent gems across the hilt, it has
a very Marquesian flair to it. And you see what appears to be a rusty iron sphere that is about
three inches in diameter and weighs about a pound. It has a bunch of really strange shapes and
design, almost like it was made from condensed chains that were then melted down into a single
sphere. It has a really rough texture on the outside. LAURA: We need to have Tary Identify it. Can we
drag the box back to the mansion? MATT: Yeah, you drag it back (dragging noises). I
mean, the box has some food and blankets that are meant to keep it hidden, so you search through as
you find them. Those are the only things of interest in the box, the rest of it just seems to
be to fill the space. LAURA: Can we hide the bodies? MATT: Sure. You guys drag the bodies back? LAURA: Yeah. And Dust of Tracelessness to hide
where they were dragged. TALIESIN: I’m going to take their cloaks. TRAVIS: You want me to hide the bodies? LAURA: Yeah, Grog. TRAVIS: I put the bodies in the Bag of Holding. (laughter) MATT: Okay. The opening is about that big, so it
takes you a second, just like when you had to put Dork the Ox in there, it’s like trying to fit a
king-sized pillow in a twin-sized pillowcase. TALIESIN: I fully support it. Whatever you need to
do to feel better, man. TRAVIS: I’m trying to get over these double ones,
man, I’m working it out. TALIESIN: I’m curious about a couple things here. LAURA: Don’t touch any of it, until we get Tary to
look at it. MARISHA: While they drag the bodies back, Percy
and I take the robes. TALIESIN: We’re going to strip the cult members of
their culty pants. MATT: So, Percival and Keyleth are currently
wearing– MARISHA: Can I study one of the guys’ face, and
take that for Alter Self? MATT: Sure, easy enough. You also find that both
of them have what looks like a dark iron symbol hanging around their neck, hidden beneath their
robes. It resembles a four-pronged pitchfork that has a single rod beneath it that forms a loop. LAURA: Do you have a picture? MATT: I’m going to sketch it for you. SAM: Dickbutt. LAURA: I spilled coffee on my paper, and it looks
like David Mack watercolor. MARISHA: Yeah, yeah, it’s aged a little. LIAM: Mack spatter. SAM: Hey, in the store tonight, we’ve got lots
of– MATT: It looks like that. TALIESIN: Angry happy face with a goatee. MATT: Kind of, yeah. So you have the corpses both
being stuffed into the Bag of Holding, you guys find the whatever symbols are hanging, and the
robes are on you. LAURA: We go back to Tary. MATT: You go back to Tary. SAM: (as Tary) 34, 35. Other side, Doty. One. LAURA: Tary? We’re in the mansion. Tary? SAM: Hello? Yes? I’m not decent yet. LAURA: Tary. I’ve seen you naked. SAM: Come in, come in. Hello. LIAM: Thank you. We have a box of crazy shit, will
you look at it and tell us what we’re looking at? SAM: Of course. LAURA: What are you doing in here, why didn’t you
come down with us? SAM: I’m doing my daily preparations. I had to
pluck my eyebrows, I had to comb my hair. My unmentionables needed to be washed and– JON: Waxed? SAM: Yes. I will identify these objects. MATT: Easy enough to do as a ritual for each. The
scimitar is a Scimitar of Speed. TALIESIN: I’m excited. SAM: Oh, oh. I’m jacked in. LAURA: You can go, you can go, you’ve got 30 feet
of jack. MATT: All right, don’t go so far. These are the
other two items you’ve got. SAM: Oh my god, there’s so many items. LAURA: Whoa, go us! SAM: What we have here is a Scimitar of Speed. You
gain a +2 bonus to attack and damage rolls made with this magical weapon. In addition, you can
make one attack with it as a bonus action on each of your turns. LAURA: Shut up. Is it attunable? Do you have to
attune it? TALIESIN: Yes, you do. SAM: But maybe this guy can do it. We’ve also
found the Third Eye of Awareness. A single polished stone of smooth jade is affixed to a grey
leather band that loops in the back. The wearer gains advantage on initiative. (gasps) SAM: Not attunable. (louder excited gasps) LAURA: We’re in the room, we’re in the room! LIAM: Tary, I am an assassin of the highest
caliber. LAURA: Tary. I’m your best friend. SAM: Oh. Little Elf Girl. LAURA: Oh wait, is it a necklace? SAM: No, it’s a leather band. MATT: It’s a headband. SAM: Of course Vex gets this. All the times we’ve
had together. JON: What are the other Eyes of Awareness? Have
you guys come across the others? It says that’s the third one. SAM: The last item is called the Iron Bands of
Bilarro. This rusty iron sphere measures three inches in diameter, and weighs one pound. Like my
dick. (laughter) LIAM: It says that on the paper, Matt? MATT: I didn’t– no– I didn’t– Wait– No. MARISHA: Wait, does that require attunement? SAM: You can use an action to speak the command
word and throw the sphere at a huge or smaller creature, like my dick, that you can see within 60
feet of you. As the sphere moves through the air, it opens into a tangle of metal bands, like my
dick. Make a ranged attack roll with an attack bonus equal to your dex modifier plus your blah
blah blah, if you hit it, the target is restrained until you take a bonus action to speak a command
word and release it. Doing so, or missing, causes the bands to contract and become a sphere once
more. So it’s like a trap ball. Trap ball. MATT: It’s like, you know in Doctor Strange, that
prison exoskeleton it threw on him? It’s like that. SAM: Once the band is used, it can’t be used again
until the next dawn, like my dick. LAURA: Tary, you’ve never been quite so obsessed
with your dick before. SAM: It’s just that gnome, he’s so weird and he
rubs off on people, like my dick! Oh, I’m doing it again! LAURA: You’re doing it! How are you? You’ve been
hiding a lot! SAM: Well, it seems like you guys are working
through a thing, and I should really be getting back home, anyway. I don’t know, I don’t feel
quite as needed any more. LAURA: Oh no! JON: You’re not, I don’t think. LAURA: You’re not there! SAM: How did he get in here? MATT: You turn around and realize that Lionel has
followed you into the room. JON: What else do I have to do? SAM: After this is all done, I’ll say my proper
goodbyes. But I should be going. He’s your best guy, right? You need him. He’s part of the team,
he always has been. LAURA:You’remy best guy! SAM: I love you both. I’m definitely poorer for
having known you, though. LAURA: I mean, you were poorer without knowing us,
you just didn’t realize it. LIAM: I mean, poorer, but richer. SAM: That’s true. TRAVIS: Your family’s actually poorer because of
you. LAURA: This mansion disappears in 24 hours, so you
can’t just hide in here. SAM: All right, I’ll come outside. Doty, get my
armor ready. Spritz it! MATT: “Tary.” Doty pulls an arm up, and you can
see one of the slight changes that they had made in his construction is a slight mister on the
other hand that goes (water spraying). TRAVIS: For your face or for your armor? SAM: His armor! TRAVIS: Oh my god! MATT: Depends how hot the day is. LIAM: Freddie! Where’s Fred? LAURA: I feel like Percy would like this a lot. We
found something that you might enjoy. LIAM: What’s this? TALIESIN: Scimitar of Speed. LIAM: Well, I think you might like this thing. You
could come up with very creative solutions with that. TALIESIN: This could go– (interested noises) Yes.
Yes, I think I could do something with this. SAM: Let’s go kill some shit, shall we? Come on! TALIESIN: I’ve even got a codeword for it! SAM: Codeword? MARISHA: There’s a codeword? TALIESIN: You have to speak a word to make it
work. MATT: A command word, yeah. TALIESIN: Can I program the word? I’ve programmed
it. Perfect. LAURA: I put this on. MATT: Okay, you put that on. All right. Who is
going where? What are you doing? LIAM: Wait, hold on. Would you like this, either
of you? It’s not my bag. ASHLEY: Gain a plus two bonus to attack… It’s a
weapon. MATT: All right, so what’s the plan, guys? What
are you doing? LIAM: We should go. LAURA: We should go attack things. TRAVIS: Campfire! LIAM: Well, let’s go quietly, you and I, take
point. LAURA: And head deeper in, see where the people
have been. LIAM: Twins are in the lead. MATT: New stealth checks from you guys since
you’ve had combat. LAURA: Still have Pass Without a Trace going. TALIESIN: Everybody roll who’s walking. MATT: Sam, are you bringing Scanlan? LAURA: Natural 20! MATT: So, across the board. TRAVIS: What are we rolling? MATT: Stealth. TRAVIS: Oh, I did that already. 23. ASHLEY: 35! LAURA: Natural 20. LIAM: I rolled a two, so it’s a 27. MATT: Reliable Talent, man, it’s awesome. MARISHA: 29. TALIESIN: 23. JON: 19. MATT: Plus ten. JON: Yeah, that was with ten. SAM: 20, 23, 23. MATT: Okay! ASHLEY: Question! SAM: Scanlan, Taryon, Doty. I tried to leave them
behind, guys! LAURA: But he’s in a mansion, he’ll just pop out
and then he’ll be sitting in a tunnel by himself! TRAVIS: You opened this hole, man, you gotta pay
for it! LIAM: Yeah, you’ve got to juggle these balls. MATT: All righty. LAURA: Sorry, Matt. What do we do? He’s going to
kill him! He’s going to kill one of them! What should we do? SAM: Let’s go! MATT: You move further into the tunnel. LIAM: Twins in the lead, point, traps. All that. MATT: All right. LAURA: Searching, keeping an eye out for any other
people as well. MATT: All right, it’s only 80 feet until the
winding tunnel opens up slightly. So, make another investigation check partway up, about halfway to
that period. LAURA: God damn it. LIAM: 18. MATT: Okay. You make your way there. And you begin
to push towards the entranceway. The soft dust on the ground, which is the same color as the rest of
the stonework. Vax, you step onto one section that seems to step in a little further than the others, and you
feel a (click). LIAM: Nobody move. Don’t move. MATT: I need you and Vex, and who was following
them? SAM: Everybody. MATT: I need everybody to make a constitution
saving throw. LAURA: Oh no. SAM: Saving throws are up there. LIAM: Sam. I’m using my first Luck of the new day.
Okay? SAM: Great. That’s the third one, then? LIAM: The first one of the day. TALIESIN: Oh, I can reroll a saving throw. MATT: All right. Grog? TRAVIS: 17. MATT: 17. You take 36 points of necrotic damage.
Pike? ASHLEY: Five. MATT: 36 points of necrotic damage. LIAM: Constitution saving throw? MATT: Yep. Vex? LAURA: 16? MATT: 36 points of necrotic damage. LIAM: 18, but armor after those faces, is set to
necrotic damage. MATT: Right, because you never un-set it from
that. Okay. All right, I’ll let you do that. All right, so instead of 36, that’s 18. LIAM: I rolled an 18. MATT: You did not succeed on the saving throw, but
you halved it. MARISHA: 20 total? MATT: 20 total? You take 16 points of necrotic
damage. You make it. TALIESIN: Out of curiosity, is this a magic saving
throw? MATT: Against a spell effect? Yes. TALIESIN: Then I don’t even have to use a resolve.
19. MATT: 19 does not succeed. You take 36 points of
necrotic damage. JON: 16. MATT: 36 points of necrotic damage. TALIESIN: We don’t have the bonus hit points,
either, do we? MATT: Nope. TALIESIN: Okay. SAM: Scanlan, 26. MATT: Takes 16 points of necrotic damage. SAM: Is it 18 points? MATT: Yes, 18. SAM: Taryon, 26. MATT: Wow. 18 points of necrotic damage. SAM: Doty, one. MATT: Doty takes 36 points of necrotic damage. All
righty. You watch as you pull back and the sand sifts in and you see another face below, with a
burst of dark energy that echoes out in a 60-foot radius. Fills the hallway with this high-pitched
shrieking sound. As it hits all of you and the breath escapes you for a second, this circle of
death-like sphere passes all of you, and you hear the shriek echo through both sides of the
hallway. LAURA: Well, if anything’s going to bring more
skeletons, it’s that. LIAM: Clicking my boots. TALIESIN: I’m going to burn my quick heal. Might
as well. MATT: What are you guys doing? Pushing forward,
staying where you are? LAURA: Should you heal us before we pop into
anything more? Can you heal us? ASHLEY: Yeah. I can heal us. LAURA: That was a lot. ASHLEY: That was a lot. LIAM: I’m doing this. MATT: Perception check. ASHLEY: I’ll cast Mass Cure Wounds. TRAVIS: Pike’s doing this. MATT: Mass Cure Wounds. How much does that heal
everybody? ASHLEY: 3d8 plus spellcasting ability modifier. MATT: So whatever you roll plus five. LIAM: 31 perception. MATT: Okay. You listen out, and you hear what
sounds like low voices, things shifting, a slight general humming sound. The bright light that was
there before is not there at the moment. You still see the fire. LIAM: Does it sound like anything I’ve ever heard
before? MATT: Make an intelligence check. ASHLEY: Everybody heals an extra 18 hit points. LIAM: Natural 20. MATT: Natural 20. You do remember it. The low hum
that temporarily appears was very close to the sound whenever anybody was throwing something into
the dark sphere above the ziggurat. LIAM: I was wondering. All right. SAM: You said 18? ASHLEY: 18 points, yeah. JON: They’ve heard that before. MATT: Apparently. A different one. MARISHA: No one’s rolled initiative. No one knows
we’re here yet. MATT: Not yet. You haven’t thrown into combat yet.
You guys just hit a trap and heard things ahead. MARISHA: If you can wait 60 seconds, I can make us
an elemental. TALIESIN: Will the magic fade if we get too close
to the ziggurat, though? LAURA: Maybe we’ll have to fight things outside of
the ziggurat. MARISHA: That’s a good question. I have a mild
confession, and maybe I should have said this a little earlier, but I’m going to say it now. One
night, I might have sneaked down into the middle of the ziggurat, and I stuck my hand in it. LAURA: What the fuck? SAM: Why would you do that, and what happened? MARISHA: Well, I wanted to find out what would
happen, and I found out it’s real bad. It’s really bad, is what I found out, and it nearly crushed my
hand to a point of oblivion and I think I got really lucky, so I think it just crushes anything
that it tries to suck in. LAURA: But it’s a doorway. I shot an arrow through
it. MARISHA: It is. I think your arrow happened to be
tiny and fast. TALIESIN: Well. LIAM: Those 60 seconds have passed. TALIESIN: Let’s go. MATT: You were talking instead of casting a spell.
Do you want to take another minute to cast a spell? TRAVIS: Thanks for the confession, though. MATT: All right, so what are you guys doing? LAURA: Moving forward. Keeping an eye out for
those– MARISHA: That’s all I mean. Don’t jump in. LIAM: Do you want to go elemental? LAURA: No, she wanted to summon an elemental. MARISHA: I wanted to summon an elemental. MATT: You guys rush forward, and a hot wind is
picking up through the tunnel. You’re not quite sure directionally where it’s coming from. But as
you move forward and through the winding passage, maybe 60 feet ahead as it opens up, you see it
splits into two different pathways of natural interior rock formations, and you can see a larger
chamber beyond that. You have the right and left. LAURA: I pop Trinket out. MATT: Okay. Trinket pops out of your necklace.
What are you guys doing? LAURA: Can I hear the noise of the ziggurat coming
from either side more? MATT: You hear it coming from both sides. TRAVIS: Let’s split up. LAURA: What about wind or anything? MATT: There’s the general wind in the room, but
it’s (whoosh) whipping around you, picking up sand and dust from the ground. LAURA: Do we see faces on either side? MATT: Perception check. LIAM: I’ll have a look, as well. LAURA: 28. LIAM: 24. MATT: Okay. You do not see any faces immediately
within the two paths that are ahead of you. However, as you glance past one of the edges,
within the chamber, you can see the sources of some of that flickering firelight. You see two
clay bowls, large clay bowls that are set in the ground that have burning materials inside. Wood,
cloth. Who knows what, but they’re burning this bright orange-red flame. Not a natural yellow
flame. A deep orange-red flame. It’s causing this glow to emanate around the room, and you see the
flames flickering and moving with the wind that’s blowing about. TRAVIS: Safe to assume this goes to the same room,
yeah? Just two different entrances? LAURA: Maybe. TRAVIS: So let’s flank. LAURA: I feel like there’s traps. MARISHA: I go with Percy, since we have the robes
over top of us. MATT: All right. Who’s going left and right? TRAVIS: I’m going right. JON: I’ll go left. ASHLEY: I’m going right. MATT: Left? LIAM: I’ll roll with Percy and Keyleth. MATT: Percy and Keyleth with Vax. Grog on the
right. Who else is on the right? LAURA: I’ll go right. MATT: Vex is right. Pike? Right or left? ASHLEY: Yeah, right. MATT: Trinket’s with you. SAM: All my people to the right. MATT: All righty. Indeed, what looked like two
different hallways was one entrance to the chamber that was divided by a singular column in the
center. You both flank around as it opens up inside. You see a 50-foot-tall, 70-foot-wide
natural cavern chamber that rounds out over the top, and you see it end on the opposite side.
There are two pillars nearer to your end that both hold defaced statues of a woman on each. Defaced
statues of a woman. Partially destroyed and collapsed. There are elements of it broken on the
ground. The heads removed. In the center of the chamber, you see before you a massive
stone-stepped pyramid, similar to the ziggurat you’ve found. The design is a little different,
and you get the sense that a lot of it is still buried and it’s just the top that has been
uncovered and repurposed for whatever this may be. You do see, there are a number of cloaked figures
scattered across these steps, and some of them are out looking in your direction as soon as you come
around the side. They’re all wearing the same black outfits, the cloaks. Some of them have the
hoods back; some of them have the hoods on. Roughly, you have what looks to be six or seven
from what you can view. There are two of them at the very top that currently have what looks like
another crate that has been opened, and there above them, you can see the black orb, exactly
like the one you have underneath Whitestone, and they’re in the process of taking objects out and
throwing them up into the sphere, and you watch as they flash and vanish into the darkness. You see
one cloaked figure that’s currently shouting out and giving commands right now. LAURA: Do they see us? MATT: With all of your stealth? You got a 19,
correct? One of them shouts out, “We have visitors!” LAURA: Do they only see that side? Do they see us
come around the other side of the pillar? They see all of us. MATT: As soon as they all glance over, you guys
are out in the open of a hallway. Once they see him, they see the spread of you. As this happens,
you watch as a number of skeletons walk out from the halls on the sides, and one seems to suddenly
shake and rise up from the ground: a large skeleton with what looks like giant horns that
curve out of the head, standing about 12 feet tall. Looks to be some sort of minotaur-like
beast, but bone and anger. LAURA: How far away is the ziggurat? MATT: The ziggurat from you guys? Let’s pull out a
map. (cheering) ASHLEY: Do you need help? MATT: I may be able to get this here. LAURA: It’s such a big map. MATT: It’s a big one. Actually, Travis, do you
want to help me with this real fast? JON: This time, it’s big. MATT: We’re working out the kinks here, guys.
Thank you very much. SAM: Guys. So many great things available in the
store tonight. Those posters? The Scanlan thing. Oh shit. LIAM: Combat. Here we go! This is the real deal. LAURA: Wait, we didn’t do this last time, did we? JON: If I hadn’t sneezed, you guys, we never would
have seen this. TALIESIN: They would all be dead right now. We
would have taken them all out in one clean kill. JON: We would have quietly (blow gun sounds). SAM: An overhead cam? An out-of-focus overhead
cam? JON: This is the place, guys. LAURA: Wait, so it’s reversed? SAM: Matt only has to manage 22 individual
characters right now. MATT: No, it’s great, guys. I love it; it’s
wonderful. LAURA: So when we tell you which direction we want
to go, Matt, it’s from your perspective. MATT: Well, do the best you can to see. TRAVIS: The map’s right. TALIESIN: Towards and away from the ziggurat, and
the ziggurat’s 12:00 and we’re 6:00. SAM: We’ll just say leeward and windward.
Starboard. MATT: Okay, so. There is a singular figure
standing up here that seems to be giving orders and shouting it out to the side. Female voice
rings out across the center of the chamber and says, “Remnants, slay the intruders and grant
their bodies to the cause!” LAURA: Can I see whose voice that was? MATT: Make a perception check. LAURA: That was crazy. 27. MATT: 27. It’s hard to see. She’s in the dark
right there and the sphere doesn’t give a lot of light, but the voice sounds familiar. SAM and LAURA: Familiar? MATT: All right, so at this point the woman pulls
an amulet. The woman pulls an amulet out from beneath the robe, and as she clutches it in her
hand, the orb shifts from black to white, to a white-gray color, and you watch as the wind
(whoosh) gets whipped up even heavier and lights up the area around the space. You watch as the
cloaked hood flows back, and for a brief moment, before the grin crawls across her face, you see
the face of Delilah Briarwood. (gasps) SAM: We killed her! She’s dead! LAURA: No! TRAVIS: Look at Percy. SAM: She’s dead. She died. We killed her! ASHLEY: Oh no. MATT: Yet there she is at the top of the
ziggurat. LAURA: How?! SAM: This is like a soap opera! LAURA: Dun dun dun! TRAVIS: I broke the world for you returns! MATT: I would like you all to roll initiative. TRAVIS: (laughs) What? LAURA: I know. ASHLEY: This looks like a crazy fight. MARISHA: Natural 20. MATT: Nice. MARISHA: If only it was for something a little
more important, but it’s fine. TALIESIN: You get to go first. MATT: So 25 to 20? TALIESIN: 20. SAM: 20 for Scanlan. MATT: What was it? MARISHA: 22, tied with Scanlan. SAM: No, mine’s just 20. MATT: All right, so Percy. TALIESIN: Percy and Scanlan are tied. MATT: Scanlan. Okay. All right. SAM: Wait, does Doty roll? I forget. No, he just
goes when Taryon does. MATT: Yeah, I’m letting him go with Taryon. It’s
easier to check that. All right, 20 to 15? TRAVIS: 17. SAM: Taryon’s 16. LIAM: 15. MATT: All right, so we have Grog. You got, what
did you say? 17? Vax, what did you say? TRAVIS: 15. MATT: Oh, 15 and you said 17 for Taryon? SAM: 16 for Taryon. MATT: All right. LAURA: 14. MATT: 14. SAM: What did you get? JON: 17. SAM: He got 17. Did he tell you? MATT: Oh, he didn’t tell me that. Sorry about
that. ASHLEY: Okay. So many things on the board. I
wonder if those statues are going to come to life. MATT: All righty. So who else is left. Pike? ASHLEY: Seven! She’s so good at initiative
rolling. MATT: All right, so at the beginning of this
initiation, with the orb now flaring this pale gray-white and Delilah Briarwood standing there at
the top of the ziggurat, staring down and focusing on the group of intruders that have just rushed
in. Keyleth, it’s your turn. MARISHA: Oh god. Okay. I am going to, under the
cult hood that I have, transform my face with Alter Self into Sylas Briarwood. MATT: Okay. MARISHA: Her husband. Her dead husband. I’m going
to have his face, and I’m going to walk forward and say, Delilah. Don’t. It is me. MATT: Make a deception check. MARISHA: Deception? MATT: So as you step forward into the chamber. MARISHA: This is not good. LIAM: Sunshine, roll high. MARISHA: I’m not good at this shit. Oh, that’s not
bad! 14? That’s it. 14. That’s all I got. 14 is good for me. TALIESIN: It’s dark. MATT: Okay, so that’s your action. As you say this
to Delilah, her eyes flash over to you, and her face goes– SAM: She’s mad. LAURA: So pissed! MATT: You have your movement and your bonus,
still. MARISHA: Movement and a bonus? (sighs) LIAM: Feeblemind on the dragon. MARISHA: I am going to take my bonus to ignite my
form into a fire elemental and rush towards the closest thing to me. MATT: Okay, there are two skeletons to your
right and left. You’re turning into a fire elemental. MARISHA: Yeah. I don’t know. Where are we? MATT: There you go, Keyleth. MARISHA: Okay, I have a 50-foot movement. I want
to hit as many skeletons as I can by running through them and catching them on fire. MATT: Okay, so with that, you can do (counting).
You can probably get this whole cluster here. All righty. They all catch fire as you rush through.
You do get attacks of opportunity on you as you rush by. That is 15? MARISHA: What am I against? MATT: What’s your AC for your fire elemental? MARISHA: Hit. MATT: All right, so that’s 11 points of slashing
damage, reduced to half because you take half damage, right? MARISHA: Yep. So five. MATT: That’s a 13? MARISHA: Miss. No, hit. Armor class is 13. MATT: Another five points of slashing damage.
Ten? MARISHA: Miss. MATT: Eight. MARISHA: Miss. MATT: Okay. That one and that one. That is a 15
from the minotaur skeleton. MARISHA: Hit. MATT: You take 17 points of slashing damage,
reduced to eight. And the last one is a natural 20, so you take 22 points of slashing damage,
reduced to 11. And they are all set aflame. All of them take, I believe, fire damage from impacting
you? MARISHA: Yep. MATT: So we’ll say eight damage across the board
for all of them. All of them get hit with fire as they swipe out at you, including the giant
minotaur that swings over you with this large greataxe in its hands and bursts into flames as it
does so. Awesome. All right, that ends your turn, Keyleth. Delilah, who’s currently glaring at
Keyleth and the rest of you, looks out and goes, “Of course it would be you, wouldn’t it?” She
takes a step back. Without breaking eye contact, goes, “Finish your work.” (foreign words) And
slams her hand down on the ground, and you watch as this sphere of rainbow color completely
encompasses around the top of the ziggurat. You now see this large orb, this dome of multicolored
rainbows that flickers for a second, and then briefly becomes a singular color. LAURA: It’s a giant– MATT: You see it is a giant Prismatic Sphere
around. The color you see now as it flickers for a minute becomes stark red, just deep ruby red. JON: It’s so pretty. Look at it, you guys. LIAM: Taste the rainbow. TRAVIS: These people kill ducks, Lionel. JON: (gasps) Kill them all! MATT: Percival, Scanlan. What are you guys doing? TALIESIN: Scanlan, you first. My plan just went up
the rainbow. SAM: All right. I’ll step forward and I will– is
Vax or Vex near me? Vex is near me, right? MATT: Vex is near you, yeah. SAM: I will inspire Vex. I will sing to her. I
will sing, (singing) you don’t need anybody else. When I stand beside you, I touch you, elf. Whoa. (laughter) SAM: Something creepy. LAURA: Working your way back up. SAM: And then I’ll cast Reverse Gravity on
everybody. Everybody in there. All their shit. MATT: All righty! What’s the radius on that? My
templates are still back on the shelf. Can someone grab my templates real fast? That would be
awesome. SAM: 50 feet. MATT: 50-foot radius? SAM: 50 feet radius. MATT: Oh, that’s going to get everybody in there,
including probably Keyleth. MARISHA: I can take it. I’m into this. MATT: You can fly, though, right? MARISHA: I can fire hover? TALIESIN: I have sticky feet right now, so I ain’t
going nowhere. MATT: Reverse Gravity, perfect. Dexterity save
across the board. What’s the spell DC with the hand cone? SAM: 22. TALIESIN: Fuck their shit up! SAM: Does it affect people in the dome? MATT: You don’t know. TALIESIN: We’ll hear a thunk, won’t we? MATT: You see over here, a number of other robed
figures and one that looks like it’s heavily armored in the front, as well. A couple of
small other cultists down on the sides, but they all– apparently. Okay, the armored one actually
manages to grab the stonework and hold on. SAM: Oh boy, Matt’s hating this. MATT: Everyone else, except for that one armored
guard, rises up and (wham) slams into the ceiling 50 feet up. That is 5d10 points of damage. 5d6,
sorry. Thank you very much. Perfect. MARISHA: Is that including me, or no? MATT: That would be including you. MARISHA: Okay. LIAM: Let me just reiterate, we always appreciated
Scanlan. SAM: I just need to hear it more, guys. MATT: 20 points of bludgeoning damage, which
completely destroys these skeletons that were damaged earlier from the fire. LIAM: So long, pawns. MATT: All right. Are you maintaining it, or
letting them fall? SAM: Maintain! MATT: All righty, so everyone else is held in the
air right now against the ceiling. SAM: The people inside the dome? No. MATT: Seem to be unaffected. SAM: Oh, that ziggurat. LAURA: Anti-magic dome. SAM: I’ll move a little closer in. MATT: So over here next to Pike? SAM: Done. Percival. MATT: That ends Scanlan’s turn. Percy, what are
you doing? TALIESIN: I’m going to pull out Bad News.
Actually, let’s pull out Animus. This will be funnier if I’m walking around that way, which is
always a fun thing to say. There’s that one guy holding on, right? MATT: There’s one guy holding on, yeah. TALIESIN: There’s one guy holding on. I’m going to
use my gun to make him drop an object of my choosing. And that object is going to be the
pyramid. So just remembering how to do this. MATT: Roll for an attack. TALIESIN: Roll for an attack. That’s 29? MATT: That will hit. All right, he has to make a
strength saving throw? TALIESIN: Strength saving throw against 20. MATT: Nope, five plus five. That is a no, so he
goes (whoosh) and slams into the ceiling, as well, taking– ooh, that is 22 points of bludgeoning
damage. MARISHA: Can Keyleth clothesline him on the way up
as a fire elemental? MATT: Sure. Close enough. You swoosh over there;
it’s fine. More of a flavor element. So all the visible creatures you can see right now are held
against the ceiling. TALIESIN: Okay, is he still alive? I don’t suppose
I have advantage to hit anything that’s pinned to the ceiling. MATT: I’m going to say for the purposes of falling
up, a lot of them are prone, so you would actually have disadvantage. TALIESIN: So weird. I’ll take it. I hit the wrong
thing. There we are. I’ll burn another point for advantage and shoot him again. Just with a
straight roll. That’s 19. MATT: That hits. Same armored guy? TALIESIN: Same guy. That’s nine points of damage,
plus three points of psychic damage. MATT: Okay. All right? TALIESIN: And I’ll hit him again. Same thing. Hit
him again. This time I’m going to take a bonus for a Hex on him, too, for extra fun. That’s 27. MATT: Yeah, that hits. TALIESIN: So that’s not bad. That’s 17 points of
damage, plus three points of psychic damage and five points of necrotic damage. MATT: Nice! You’re just firing up at this figure.
The one shot sends it flying up into the ceiling, and I’d say even before it impacts, as it’s still
floating up in the air, you shoot it once while it’s still falling upward, and then it slams into
the ceiling and you get one final shot to hit it while it’s there. (grunts) Across the top. It’s
hard to see if it’s really that hurt, but it’s currently a little wounded. TALIESIN: Yeah, and he’s got disadvantage on
dexterity checks for now, because that’s funny. MATT: Are you going to move, Percival, or are you
going to stay where you are? TALIESIN: I’m slowly going to make my way towards
the ziggurat, so I’m going to be actually walking up on the wall. So you can put me up on the little
creases. Yeah, I’m walking sideways, as gravity’s reversed right now. I’ll make my way, as far as I
can get, towards the sphere. MATT: Okay, and that radius, by the way, is
maintained as long as you concentrate on that. So anybody who walks into that radius will have to
make a dex save or be flung up into that. So! That being the case, ending Scanlan’s turn and Percy’s
turn, the cultists that are currently flung to the ceiling are going to get up and run this way, so
they’re technically up on the ceiling right now. Those two are going to continue their work. You
don’t see what’s in there. Grog, you’re up. TRAVIS: Is it me and Chad? MATT: Let’s see here. Actually, no. I disagree.
They actually can take an action this turn from that distance. So I need Grog and Pike to both
make wisdom saving throws. LAURA: Are you both wise? ASHLEY: I have gnome cunning, so I have advantage
on wisdom. TRAVIS: 14. MATT: 14. ASHLEY: What did you say it was, wisdom? 20? LAURA: Roll your advantage. You get advantage. ASHLEY: Maybe I don’t need it? LAURA: Try it. Maybe you’ll roll a natural 20. MATT: Advantage for which one? ASHLEY: I have gnome cunning. I have advantage on
wisdom, intelligence, charisma saving throws. MATT: Just in general? ASHLEY: I guess so. MATT: Against magic, I think it was? So yeah, both
of you guys shrug off the effect. You feel the magic try to take hold over the inside of your
brain and your muscles seize up and you manage to shrug it off. It’s a familiar feeling. It is one
that you’re familiar with, as well, Pike. It is a Hold Person attempt on both of you. ASHLEY: I know what you did. I know what you were
trying to do! MATT: All right, that ends their turn. Grog,
you’re up. TRAVIS: Okay, where does that sphere of vertical
influence start? MATT: You’re not entirely certain, Grog. TRAVIS: Awesome. I’m going to go into a rage and
haul ass along this wall. MATT: Okay, as you rush into this wall here, I
need you to make a dexterity saving throw. TRAVIS: I have advantage on those. 14. MATT: Grog, you start running and then (yelps) go
flying up into the ceiling. SAM: Oh shit, it affects the area? TRAVIS: (screams) MATT: You take 17 points of bludgeoning. TRAVIS: I raged at the beginning. MATT: So half that. You’re now locked on the
ceiling, as well. However, that does put you in melee range, and prone, with one of the cultists
on the ceiling. TRAVIS: Totally meant to do that. I’ll attack. MATT: You’re upside-down on the ceiling. The guy
who cast a spell and it didn’t work on you watched you tumble up, land, get up, and stare him down in
his face. TRAVIS: Hi. MATT: His hood falls off. You see a guy who’s
staring at you now with one eye plucked out of its socket. TRAVIS: Might as well make a matching one.
Reckless! Natural 20. (cheering) MATT: Roll some damage. TRAVIS: So I rolled a ten. Two more of these,
seven. 31, 11, 42. MATT: Okay. You smile at him, bring the axe back,
and you completely– we’re talking tree trunk. He slides over and his body attaches to the ceiling
and collapses against that, blood splattering out from his midsection. It seems really gross, in a
sense. You still have at half movement, about 20 feet to run across. TRAVIS: Yeah, I’ll keep trying to come to this wall. MATT: This wall? Okay. That’s about as far as you
get, but you don’t have range with your axe. TRAVIS: That’s my turn. MATT: Okay. Finishes Grog’s turn. Lionel. You’re
over here, currently. JON: I move forward and I jump into the radius so
I can float up, too. And as I’m flying, I say, I’ll save you, Grog! TRAVIS: Come on, buddy! MATT: Do you go into a rage first? It will reduce
your impact damage as you land. JON: Wait, what? TALIESIN: You take less damage. MATT: If you want to be raging first, you’ll take
less damage from the impact. JON: Yeah, you know what? Let’s rage. MATT: Okay. You joyfully leap into the sky. JON: It’s the duck rage. MATT: You take 16, reduced to half, so you take
eight points of bludgeoning damage as you slam into the ground at the top, and you stand up and
there’s about five feet between you and Grog, and one of the cultists is there right in front of
you, who’s like, “Shit!” JON: I rage. MATT: Do you want to attack him? Go for it. JON: I think the anti-gravity is screwing me up.
Three, plus 12. MATT: Three plus 12 still hits, actually. JON: He does it clumsily. MATT: Your first strike is 2d6 plus ten damage. JON: Seven. 17. MATT: 17 points of slashing damage as you pull
your greataxe up and rake past. You see his chest split open and he (grunts) pulls back. He’s still
alive, and as he looks up at you from under the hood, he is also missing one of his eyes. (pants) JON: Second attack? Rage, bonus action… MATT: You have an extra attack as a barbarian, so
you get a second attack. JON: Okay. TALIESIN: d20. JON: Do the same thing. TALIESIN: Natural 20! Now roll 4d6. MATT: Roll 4d6. TRAVIS: Stop touching him! TALIESIN: He’s so plush, though. It’s really nice.
Whoa! Does he get to reroll ones? SAM: Oh, that’s a one. TALIESIN: Does he get to reroll a one? MATT: He does, because of his great weapon
fighting, yeah. TALIESIN: Reroll it. Better. JON: So it’s 17. Plus ten. 27. MATT: Okay. The first strike cuts him across the
chest. (pants) Rears back. Oh, that wasn’t enough, and with a second half-assed swipe, he goes down
and spills out all across the ceiling. That cultist is done. All righty, that finishes your
turn. Taryon. SAM: Doty, stay here. I’ll jump on the broom. I
cast Fly on– no, I don’t have to cast Fly. I’m on a broom! LAURA: It’s hard to keep track of three
characters. SAM: Well, Matt does it all the time. TALIESIN: The walls are tall enough that you can
put that above people and it won’t be a problem. MATT: Possibly. We’ll find out. Where are you
going, Tary? SAM: I’m going to fly straight in to the steps. MATT: All right, so you’re doing a dash? Or just
your movement? SAM: Can I get there in one fly? MATT: What’s the speed of the broom? SAM: It’s 40, right? MATT: You can get there. That’s as close as you
can get with one movement. TALIESIN: You’re close, though. You can throw
something at it. SAM: I can’t get all the way there, so I’ll cast
something. Shit. It’s a prismatic thing, right? MATT: Right now you have this ruby, bright-red
dome that’s glowing with light right now. SAM: Would a Prismatic Spray beat a Prismatic
Spray? Probably not, right? MATT: I don’t know. What do you think? SAM: Shit. I’m not going to risk it. I’m going to
point straight up. Is there anyone right above me? MATT: Yes, actually. These guys here are
on the ceiling right now. Anything you see there are on the ceiling, currently. SAM: And I’m up a bit, so I could throw something
at them? I guess drop it. I’ll drop a thing of fire up there. Alchemic fire. A little pot. MATT: At which one? SAM: Can I get two of them? It has a five-foot
radius. MATT: Yes, you can hit these two. SAM: Great. I’ll go for both of them. MATT: All right, so the skeleton and guy get to make…
what’s the DC? SAM: 17. MATT: 17? Unfortunately, the cultist makes it.
Skeleton does not. So the cultist dodges out of the way on the ceiling. It smashes on the ground
by the skeleton and bursts into flames. How much damage does it deal to the skeleton? SAM: I’m 15th level or 16th level? MATT: 15th. SAM: Okay. 5d6. MATT: 5d6 fire damage to the skeleton. SAM: 16. MATT: 16 points of fire damage? That skeleton,
fire consumes it. It’s still currently standing, and now the flames are licking through its
ribcage. That ends your turn? SAM: I will, as a bonus action, cast Sanctuary. Am
I within 30 feet of any of my friends? MATT: Right now? Nope. SAM: On myself. MATT: All righty. Vax, you’re up. LIAM: Boots on, poof go the wings. I have two
actions left. It’s really hard to see. How far am I from skeletal minotaur? MATT: Right there? You’re approximately 40 feet.
45. LIAM: And nowhere on the board are any of my
allies within melee combat range of any enemy. MATT: Nope! Anyone that was killed whatever they
were fighting. LIAM: That’s what I figured. Okay, so I’m going to
use my two remaining actions to throw daggers at minotaur skeleton. MATT: From where you are? From where you’re
standing? LIAM: I’m 40 feet away. I’m in range. MATT: Yeah, and you have sharpshooter. LIAM: I didn’t say it on the first. MATT: You have sharpshooter, right? Sharpshooter feat. LIAM: I have it if I choose it, but I don’t want
to choose it. MATT: Right, I’m asking because that ignores
cover. LIAM: I have sharpshooter. Right, so I ignore
three-quarters cover. So the first one is a 19? MATT: Hits. LIAM: Good, and the second one– oh, that hits,
for sure. That’s a 16… 28. Okay, so for the first one, I’m going to unload some Smite into
this motherfucker because I know he’s undead. That is three, plus eight is 11, plus psychic damage is
17, plus 3d8 because he’s undead. So 17 plus eight is 25, 29, 36 for the first attack. MATT: 36 damage. As you fling the dagger out, it
seems to skid across the stone of the pillar in front of it, leaving these bright white sparks as
it hits. Comes through and strikes through the chest. As it does, a burst of divine energy. You
watch as some of the ribs shatter and scatter across the stonework. (roars) LIAM: Fucking feathers, buddy. And then the second
one is four, plus the Smite, and I get four plus eight is 12, 15, 22. MATT: 22. LIAM: Wait, I can only smite once per round? MATT: You can smite. I believe so. I think it’s
whenever you expend a spell slot, so I don’t think there’s a limitation per round. That’s part of
what makes paladins so crazy at the higher levels, actually. But just to make sure of that or the
internet’s going to hate me. No, there’s no limitation on that. So 22? LIAM: I’m also going to use my movement. Is there
enough room to fly safely over big skeleton? MATT: Yeah, it’s about 12 feet tall, so as long as
you get 20 feet over it, you can. LIAM: Then I want to get into the back corner
closest to Liam, on the map. MATT: Over here? LIAM: Yeah. 120 feet of movement. MATT: Over here, you mean. LIAM: Yeah. MATT: All right, you’re over here in this area. LIAM: As far back from the enemies as I can be.
That’s good. Done. MATT: All right, that ends your turn. Vex. LAURA: Has anybody tried shooting anything through
the orb? MATT: Not yet, no. LAURA: Okay. Well, I’m going to try Hunter’s
Marking Delilah. MATT: You have no sight on her. LAURA: I don’t? MATT: No. All you see is a sphere of red. It
blocks everything. All sight is obscured with light. It’s very bright; the whole room is lit up.
You almost have to squint a little, looking at it. LAURA: Okay. I’m going to try to shoot an arrow,
then, at where I remember her being. MATT: Okay, go for it. Roll an attack. LAURA: Because it’s red. Natural 20! MATT: Awesome. The arrow shatters. No effect. LAURA: Oh, what a waste. Because it was red.
Motherfuck. Okay, then I’m going to Hunter’s Mark that big guy and I’m going to shoot him with a
flaming bowstring. LIAM: Y’all motherfuckers need Sarenrae. LAURA: Are you fucking kidding me? LIAM: Well, you got a 20 on the last one. LAURA: Yeah, when it didn’t fucking count! LIAM: Well, we’ve all got to eat a little humble
pie every once in a while. Even you. LAURA: You motherfuck. Don’t rub it in my face
when I just rolled a one. MATT: Anything you want to do with Trinket?
Movement? LAURA: No, he has to wait because he’s going to
get hit. He’s going to get bludgeoned. MATT: Okay, ends Vex’s turn. Skeletons are now
going to go. LAURA: I am going to move back into the little
corner that’s next to me. MATT: Right here. LAURA: Yeah, and Trinket will follow me in there. MATT: Perfect. The skeletons get up and start
rushing in towards the nearest things. This one’s going to rush towards Grog. This one’s going to
rush towards Keyleth there. This one’s also going to rush towards Keyleth. The minotaur, who got
impacted angrily, sees you dart past. Turns around. You’re not within range, so it’s going to
move up towards (heavy footsteps). This knight is also going to move in towards Keyleth. These guys
up at the top are going to focus in that way. All right, first, the minotaur swings with
its axe. Makes a giant swing towards you, Lionel. Actually, no. What it’s going to do is it’s going
to rush up, instead, put its head down, and charge forward towards you with its horns in front. It’s
attempting to strike you with its horns. That’s 18 to hit. What’s your armor class? JON: It is 18. MATT: 18, okay, so that just barely hits. You
suffer 13 plus nine. You take 21 points of piercing damage, reduced to half, so it’s ten,
because you’re raging. I need you to make a strength saving throw. JON: So mine’s plus ten. That’s with this dice,
right? MATT: Yes. Roll that, plus ten. JON: 23. MATT: 23, yeah. You’re not pushed. You get the
impact and the horns come to your chest and you’re like, “ooh, that hurt,” but this giant creature’s
stopped in its tracks. Its hooves are scraping into the ground, and you’re immovable. That’s the
end of its turn. Skeleton attacks on Keyleth. That’s 18? MARISHA: Hits. MATT: 13? MARISHA: Hits. 13 is my armor class. MATT: All right, you take 22 points of slashing
damage, reduced to 11, from the two attacks. MARISHA: 11, so I’m at 52. MATT: And all right. TALIESIN: Dungeons and Dragons. Yeah. MATT: The blackguard is going to make three
attacks with this giant glaive that it has. Now you’ve got up close, you can see this jagged black
armor. He’s going to rush up with his glaive and spins. All three attacks on you. That is 23? 18?
And 16. All righty, so you take nine, plus Thunderous Smite damage. That’s going to be 21
points of damage. Sorry, it’s going to be nine points of slashing, which is reduced to four, and
then you take an additional 15 points of thunder damage. MARISHA: So 19 points total? MATT: Correct. Mark that off. TALIESIN: No, it’s the big motherfucker. The
minotaur. LIAM: Wait, smite? MATT: The second strike is going to hit you again.
He’s going to burn another slot for another smite. On the second one, you take another four points of
slashing damage, plus 13 points of radiant damage to you. This would be necrotic damage. TRAVIS: From the skeleton minotaur? MATT: No, this is from the armored guy. TRAVIS: Gotcha. Okay. We’ve got to get you out of
there. MATT: And the third strike hits you for four
points of slashing and a third dark smite. Another 13 points of necrotic damage. MARISHA: That brings me exactly to zero. MATT: You drop your form. MARISHA: I drop form. Just form. I tanked that
motherfucking fight, y’all. MATT: So at that point, all of a sudden your form
drops in place. MARISHA: I’m still on the ceiling, right? MATT: Yes, you are. The war priest across the way
is going to look outward and begin to focus and chant under his breath, and the little bit of
light begins to show, once again, the missing eye on most of these individuals. Delilah is not
missing an eye, it seems, but the rest of them seem to have this appearance amongst them. As it
releases this form of energy, you watch as a familiar, darker-burning flame begins to spill
across the ceiling as a Flame Strike makes its way– not a Fire Storm, Flame Strike. Sorry, so
it’s a column. SAM: Am I close to him? MATT: Scanlan is– it’s a 60-foot range, is what
you’re asking? Yes, it is. SAM: I’ll Counterspell that. MATT: Counterspell the Flame Strike? SAM: Sure. MARISHA: Scanlan! LIAM: I missed you. TALIESIN: It’s so nice that this is not a problem. MATT: I need you to roll a d20. Add your charisma
modifier. SAM: It’s just a plus two? Oh, wait. Wrong guy!
Ooh, 19. MATT: 19 will do it. With that, as the flames
begin to well out in this column of fire and dark divine energy, you just reach out and snap your
fingers and the spell vanishes on the spot. LIAM: Shorthalt. ASHLEY: Shorthalt. LAURA: Shorthalt! SAM: I don’t feel the love! I need to go away for
another year. TRAVIS: It’s a start. MATT: That necromancer, however, is going to
impact in the center of the chamber a burst of necrotic energy that billows out from the center
in a 60-foot radius. It’s going to affect all of you guys. LIAM: Me up in the corner? MATT: Everyone but you because you’re away. Mr.
Way Out of the Way Guy. LIAM: It’s what I do. MARISHA: Ceiling and floor? MATT: Ceiling and floor, because it’s a large
enough radius where it affects the entire space. I need you guys to roll a constitution saving throw
for me, please. LAURA: Who? MATT: Everybody but Vax. No, it will still affect
Doty. TALIESIN: I have advantage because of Cabal. LAURA: I suck tonight! MARISHA: Yeah! LAURA: I can’t help it! LIAM: Mother bitch! SAM: Laura, did you roll? LAURA: Oh, I can add inspiration! Okay. No,
that’s not going to save me. MATT: So over here. Grog? TRAVIS: 26. MATT: 26. You take 15 points of necrotic damage.
Pike. ASHLEY: 15. MATT: 15? You take 15 points of necrotic damage. LAURA: Ten. MATT: You take 30 points of necrotic damage. MARISHA: 23. MATT: You take 15 points of necrotic damage. TALIESIN: Natural 20. MATT: 15 points of necrotic damage. JON: Ten. MATT: 30 points of necrotic damage. Scanlan? SAM: 24. MATT: 24? You take 15 points of necrotic damage,
and make a concentration check, please. Constitution saving throw, with advantage because
you have war caster. SAM: Plus anything? MATT: Plus your constitution saving throw bonus. SAM: Constitution saving throw. It’s a lot. 22 on
the first one. MATT: You have advantage, but yeah. You maintain
concentration. You’re fine. All righty, and I need Taryon. SAM: 13 plus seven. 20. MATT: All right. 15 points of necrotic damage to
Taryon. As the wave fades off, you hear the chuckle of the two cultists, and they step
backward into the red sphere. TALIESIN: Weren’t they on the ceiling? MATT: Oh, you’re right. Sorry. They were on the
ceiling. Thank you for the reminder! TALIESIN: They were my least favorite. MATT: I know. Fair enough. SAM: Does Doty get hit? MATT: Doty does get hit, yes. SAM: He’s out. MATT: Doty is (creak, impact) on the ground. Thank
you for the reminder. Sorry. SAM: Wait, how many points? MATT: 30. 30 necrotic. LAURA: Trinket. MATT: Did Trinket roll? Roll for Trinket. LAURA: No. MATT: 30 points of necrotic for Trinket. All
righty. That ends their go there. Pike? ASHLEY: Okay, so I am going to hold my turn until
after Scanlan goes. MATT: All you can hold is an action. What action
are you going to hold? ASHLEY: I have to tell you what I’m going to do? MATT: Essentially, yeah. As opposed to moving your
initiative around in the order, you can still move on your turn, and then if you’re going to cast or
attack, you start it and then wait for something to trigger it and then release it when that
happens. ASHLEY: I’m going to cast Guiding Bolt, but I’m
going to hold it until after Scanlan’s turn. LIAM: He’s at the bottom? LAURA: She’s at the bottom. MATT: Scanlan’s close to the top. Okay, so you
begin casting Guiding Bolt. What’s the trigger? For Scanlan to go? ASHLEY: For Scanlan to go. MATT: Okay. You begin concentrating on the spell.
End of your turn? ASHLEY: Yes. MATT: Keyleth, you’re up. MARISHA: Okay. How many people are still on the
ceiling with me? MATT: Grog, Lionel, and a number of skeletons. The
blackguard, the two other casters over there, the minotaur skeleton… MARISHA: Okay. I drop form. I’m going to look
around and go, (nervous laughter) and drop my staff and do Fire Storm radiating out from me, and
I want to try and avoid Lionel and Grog, but basically radiating out, fire floods the ceiling. MATT: Okay. You can hit him. (counting) You can
get everyone but these two skeletons, if you want to do a swath through that. MARISHA: Everyone but the two skeletons? MATT: Actually, if you started it here, you could
go… (counting) You can either avoid the two skeletons or avoid one of those casters. Your
call. MARISHA: No, fuck the casters. MATT: So those two skeletons next to you:
untouched. Everything else in there has to make a dexterity saving throw against a DC 21. Natural 20
on that first skeleton. MARISHA: What a dick! MATT: Minotaur does not make it. Let’s see.
Blackguard does not make it. Natural 20 on that caster there, and a 13 on that one. So this one
fails, that caster succeeds, blackguard fails, minotaur fails, skeleton succeeds. Roll damage on
that. MARISHA: I get to reroll ones. (counting) 26. Roll
two more. 12 more damage. What did I just say? TALIESIN: 26. MARISHA: 26, plus 12 more. 38 damage. MATT: 38 points of damage. This skeleton is burned
into ash and destroyed. The minotaur skeleton, even though it made the save with a 20, it had taken damage
from the fall earlier and it was enough to wipe it out. Minotaur skeleton, with that last bit, also
burns up. The flames burn around the blackguard, but it stands there, defiant. It seems to almost
be relishing the pain as it burns and tears through its armor. You don’t see a face. All you
see is black armor, jagged at the tips, long cloak that is burned to the back, big glaive that spins
in his arm. TRAVIS: Where is he? MATT: Right there. He takes half the damage. TALIESIN: Is he on fire, too? MATT: It doesn’t set them on fire. All righty.
Keyleth, that’s your action. What else are you going to do? MARISHA: Can I move any? Can I back out of
wherever I am? Where am I? MATT: You’re right there. Two skeletons get
attacks of opportunity on you if you move. It’s up to you. MARISHA: I’ll stay. Let me back out of it. MATT: Okay. Two attacks of opportunity on you.
That is a 24? MARISHA: Yeah. MATT: And a 17. MARISHA: Yeah. MATT: All right. You take 22 points of slashing
damage. LIAM: Sorry, honey. MARISHA: It’s okay. LIAM: You’re fine. Oh, you’re dead. MARISHA: I’m fine. MATT: Okay. Delilah. SAM: Wait, she goes through the thing?! MATT: Yeah. She walks through. LIAM: She can go wherever the fuck she wants. MATT: She’s going to make a dexterity check to
hold on right there, and she rolls a 23. No, a 22. Your DC is 22 for Scanlan? She just steps out of
it and holds onto the edge. Actually, she wouldn’t have had to do that. She steps to the edge. She
succeeded, but she basically just looks out of the sphere. You watch her face appear out, and her hand.
She begins to look around for her next target. LIAM: Matt Mercer in drag, shitting all over us. SAM: All it ever has been. MATT: She looks over at you, Pike, and goes, “Not
this time, my dear.” I need you– Delilah’s got the Player’s Handbook– I need you to make an
intelligence saving throw, please. ASHLEY: Intelligence saving throw? Okay, I get
advantages. Okay. LAURA: Don’t jinx this. TRAVIS: The same fucking thing. LIAM: Two eights. Holy fuck. ASHLEY: Nine. MATT: Nine. As her finger reaches out to you, your
brain goes a little numb and a little fuzzy, and the spell that you were preparing dissipates, and
conscious thought becomes difficult as the Feeblemind spell takes effect. MARISHA: No! Bitch! LAURA: What works on Feeblemind? MARISHA: This is my karma! MATT: Your intelligence and charisma become one.
You can’t cast spells, you cannot understand language or communicate in any intelligible way. MARISHA: I might be able to do a Greater
Restoration on you, but I don’t know if I can help you there. LAURA: Tiberius had it one time. How did we heal
him? MARISHA: It was a restoration spell. MATT: She steps, laughing, back into the orb. LIAM: Back into the Skittle? Fuck you, Delilah.
Holy shit! MATT: Percy, you’re up. TALIESIN: God fucking damn it. TRAVIS: Can you point to where Pike is on the map?
Okay. TALIESIN: I’m going to continue further down the
wall towards the evil orb of death. MATT: Okay. TALIESIN: Is that as far as I can get? MATT: That’s as far as you can get in a 30-foot
movement, yeah. TALIESIN: Okay. And the cultist closest to me on
the ceiling? MATT: That’s going to be that one right there. TALIESIN: That one right there? Let’s do some
damage with Animus, and let’s add a sharpshooter for it, just for fun. MATT: Okay. TALIESIN: That’s 16 to hit. MATT: 16 to hit does not hit. TALIESIN: Hold on, I may have done that wrong. 17
to hit. MATT: Still does not hit. As soon as you fire, it
hits but it sparks off what looks like big plate armor on this caster that the robes were
obscuring. As it hits, it tears through the cloth and you see the reflection of armor beneath. TALIESIN: That’s irritating. All right, forget
sharpshooter. One more. That’s better. 24 to hit. MATT: 24 hits, yeah. TALIESIN: This is not the one I have the Hex on,
right? Okay, that’s fine. I should have done that differently. 12 points of damage and one point of
psychic damage. MATT: All righty. This does hit. (gunshot) Doesn’t
seem to affect him much. TALIESIN: He’s still fine, isn’t he? That’s fine.
I’m going to hit him again. MATT: Go for it. Scanlan, you’re up next. TALIESIN: That’s like 35 to hit. Jesus Christ, I
rolled a 19. And that’s 17 points of damage and one point of psychic damage. MATT: All righty. Still standing. Not showing any
wear and tear. Taking damage, but does not appear to be wounded significantly. TALIESIN: I’m going to use my bonus to heal myself
a little bit because goddamn it. Oh, Jesus. JON: You’re attacking who? TALIESIN: I’m attacking one of the cultists. I’m
up to 120 hit points now. MATT: This isn’t the one in the fully dark armor.
This is the one that has armor under a cloak. It looks like an older man’s face. Has this staff at
the side and a mace hanging from the belt and is currently casting spells from the ceiling right
now. TALIESIN: Goddamn it. I wanted to throw some
electricity on it and I blanked because my brain is made of Swiss cheese. Is it too late? MATT: I’ll let you throw it on. TALIESIN: I’m going to add– on that last shot,
I’m going to add 5d6 worth of electricity damage. MATT: Go for it. TALIESIN: (counting) 16 points of lightning
damage. MATT: 16 points of lightning damage. TALIESIN: That’s five Cabal’s. (blast) Five
Cabal’s. MATT: All righty. That ends your turn, Percival? TALIESIN: Yeah. MATT: Scanlan, you’re up. SAM: I don’t have much. TALIESIN: Really? MARISHA: You’ve always ever said that. TALIESIN: You always say that. That doesn’t mean
anything. TRAVIS: The minotaur’s down, right? MATT: The minotaur fell, yeah. It was incinerated
by the Fire Storm. LAURA: It’s cultists and Delilah left? MATT: And some skeletons. TRAVIS: And a dark paladin’s still up there. MARISHA: The blackguard, yeah. JON: The one who’s got all that black. The really
powerful one. LAURA: Okay. TALIESIN: It’s possible we can run straight into
the ball. SAM: Who’s with me? Who’s near me? Nobody, right? MATT: Right now? Nobody is near you. Right, Pike
is right next to you. SAM: I can’t do anything to Pike or with Pike.
(fake sobs) All right. I’ll inspire myself. The saddest inspiration. (singing) It’s raining
gnomes. Hallelujah, it’s raining gnomes. Everywhere we go. Short, stout, tough, and mean.
The handsomest I’ve ever seen. MATT: What are you doing? SAM: I’m going to Dimension Door into the orb,
into the whatever this thing is. The prismatic ball. MATT: Okay. LAURA: If it’s doable to pass through a magic
barrier. TALIESIN: It might be concentration-based, and if
he can knock it out… ASHLEY: Clever gnome. LIAM: Come on, baby. MATT: I’m going to check one thing. This is
important, because this will make a big difference. LAURA: Is it an action to drop anti-gravity? SAM: I can do it at will. LAURA: They’ll all get bludgeoning damage from the
fall. SAM: So will you. LAURA: I’m not on the ceiling. MATT: All right. SAM: Not into the orb of death. MATT: But inside the sphere. I understand. I will
say, as is the nature of the spell versus a Dimension Door, I need you, as you begin to pass
through, your form folds through the magic, the very powerful magic and intent of this sphere. The
dome of red hits you immediately. I need you to make a dexterity saving throw, please. SAM: Two. MATT: Two. SAM: Oh, wait. Plus six. That’s eight. Plus, I’m
inspired. MATT: You can inspire and roll on top of that, if
you want. SAM: Ten. So 18. MATT: 18. Not enough. All right. TALIESIN: Oh god, there’s a lot of d6 I hear
rolling. MATT: You take 28 points of fire damage for the
red. As soon as you flash through, and there’s orange behind it. I need you to make another
dexterity saving throw. LAURA: Oh no, it’s a whole rainbow! JON: Rainbow, ending with indigo! SAM: 18. MATT: 18. TALIESIN: Oh no. LIAM: And if you make it in, you’re in a death
box. MATT: You take 34 points of force damage. Sorry,
lightning damage on this. Acid damage. I’m reading the wrong one. SAM: Acid, I get halved. MATT: All right, so you take 17 points of acid
damage. TALIESIN: Oh god. MATT: You pass through that into yellow. Make
another dexterity saving throw. SAM: I thought Dimension Door, I disappear to
another plane and reappear. MATT: The essence of this 9th-level spell is to
not let anything pass through it. SAM: All right. Keep it coming. MATT: Make a dexterity saving throw. SAM: 16. MATT: All right. TALIESIN: Can he bounce off at some point and stop
pulling through this fucking rainbow of death? MATT: This is the first time that I’ve used this,
so I’m making sure that I can… LIAM: Scanlan Shorthalt, killed by ROYGBIV. MARISHA: What fucking spell is this? MATT: You know what? SAM: No, keep it coming. I got this. MATT: No, based on how it’s written, it’s passing
through the sphere. SAM: What do you mean, passing through? MATT: Physically passing through the sphere, so I
will say, looking at the rules now and really thinking about how it’s worded. It doesn’t say
otherwise. I’ll say you can teleport into the sphere. LAURA: Oh my god. You’re going to another plane! TRAVIS: It’s not a gimme. MATT: I’m going to take that damage back. SAM: I can take it, Matt. Bring it! MATT: No. You’ve made a valid point, and the spell
does specify “pass through it.” You do not pass through it. You appear on the other side. So
what’s the range on that? SAM: 500 feet. MATT: You appear inside. You appear within, and
you’re now on the inside. You can see, the bright colors are there, blinding you from the interior.
Make a constitution saving throw. LIAM: Congratulations. You’re in a prison cell
with Charles Manson. SAM: 15. MATT: 15. SAM: I still have my inspiration. MATT: You do. SAM: 18. MATT: Okay. The good news is, you didn’t take any
of that damage as you bamf inside the sphere. Bad news is, you’re blinded for a minute. SAM: Great. MATT: The colors are so bright in there, your eyes
immediately go stark, flashing white. You cannot see anything in there. SAM: Great. LIAM: Hi, my name’s Jeffrey Dahmer. Welcome to my
Prismatic Sphere. TALIESIN: You know, I would watch Jeffrey Dahmer’s
Prismatic Sphere. MATT: Scanlan, that’s your action. SAM: And my bonus. MATT: Is that your turn? SAM: Yeah, that’s it. That’s all I’ve got. I can’t
see the danger I’m in. MATT: That’s true. However, you didn’t take any
damage, so you didn’t lose your concentration on the spell. You’re just blinded. All right, so now
those cultists have all been slain. I forgot to do the skeletons last time, so I’ll have them move
in. These two skeletons are going to rush in. This one’s going to go ahead and… 25. That’s four
skeletons on you, Keyleth. MARISHA: Four skeletons on me? MATT: Yeah. Eight misses you. 13 misses you, I’m
pretty sure. Eight again. MARISHA: Miss! MATT: And a 24. You take 11 points of slashing
damage. Three of them are swinging at you and you’re dodging out of the way, and then one of
them catches you across the shoulder and you’re like, (grunts). All right, that ends their go.
Grog. TRAVIS: I’m going to charge in towards the
pedestal. What’s the first thing that I reach? MATT: The first thing that you reach over here is
a skeleton. TRAVIS: Yeah. Reckless, great weapon master. MATT: Go for it. TRAVIS: 27? MATT: That hits. Minimum damage, you destroy it,
because of the great weapon master. You walk up, smash. There’s one also adjacent to you there. TRAVIS: Yep. Him, too. MATT: Go for it. TRAVIS: Reckless again. 20, even. MATT: 20 hits. Minimum damage shatters that
skeleton. You can move five feet in and get a third one, if you’d like. TRAVIS: Actually, I would like to smash the
Titanstone Knuckles together and cast Enlarge on myself. MATT: Okay. So instead, you go into full,
large-size Grog mode here. (impact sound) There you have it. TRAVIS: Fee fie foe, you’re fucked. MATT: That’s your turn, Grog? Lionel. JON: Okay. Who’s the closest to me? MATT: Closest to you are the skeletons here, or if
you wanted to rush around and get the guy with the big heavy armor. JON: That’s the old guy? MATT: There’s an old one with a staff, there’s a
black knight in all the armor with the halberd, or there’s some skeletons. JON: Can I make it over to the black knight? MATT: Yeah, you can make it over to him. JON: Yeah. MATT: You get up to him right there. JON: Is there any of my teammates? I want to give
bardic inspiration to someone. Are you close? You need it? I’m going to give you– MARISHA: We’re upside-down on the ceiling. JON: L-E-T-S-G-O. Let’s go, let’s go. (laughter) MARISHA: I’m like, you know how to spell, Lionel! JON: That’s the only thing I learned. MARISHA: I’m so impressed. JON: It’s the only song I know, but it works. MARISHA: How much do I get? MATT: You take a d8, I think? JON: 1d8 times three per short rest. MATT: Yeah, you can use it three times. You get a
d8 inspiration die, Keyleth. LIAM and MARISHA: Be aggressive. JON: I’m going to do a Hold Person. I want to hold
that guy. MATT: All right. He’s going to make a wisdom
saving throw. What’s your spell DC? JON: 16. MATT: 16. Natural 20. JON: So it doesn’t work. MATT: No. As you begin to cast the spell on him
and you reach out for his mind to clench it, he (chuckles) and readies his halberd. No effect. JON: Okay. Don’t I have another attack? Is raging
done with now? MATT: You’re still raging. You can maintain your
rage as long as you’re attacking things. You used your action to cast the spell instead of
attacking. JON: So my turn is done. MATT: That’s your turn, yeah. Unfortunately.
Sorry, man. All righty, Taryon. SAM: I don’t think I can get through that thing,
can I? I’ll fly up closer to the orb. TALIESIN: We still have two cultists full of
magic. SAM: Oh. Where are they? TALIESIN: They’re above you. SAM: They’re right above me? TALIESIN: On the roof. SAM: Oh. Well, then I’ll attack them, I guess. How
wide is my Prismatic Spray cone? MATT: How wide is your Prismatic Spray cone?
What’s the cone size on it that it says? SAM: It’s just the standard Prismatic Spray
spell. TALIESIN: It’s your everyday Prismatic Spray. It
sprays in a cone. It’s a sugar cone, not a waffle cone. MATT: Prismatic Spray I’m pretty sure is a 60-foot
cone. So it is this big old fun guy. What are you doing? SAM: Will it hit the protective thing, as well as
the people on the ceiling? MATT: You can try and spray them, as it is a cone.
You can aim it up probably to catch the edge of it. SAM: I’m mainly aiming at the two dudes above. MATT: All right, so you can hit those guys and the
blackguard, if you want to. All righty, so roll a d8. SAM: A d8? Just 1d8? MATT: For that guy there. SAM: Oh, that’s right, to pick the color. Four. MATT: All righty, that’s green, so poison for him.
For the sphere? SAM: Seven. MATT: Seven for the sphere. That is violet. No
effect. Okay, that guy there? SAM: Two. MATT: Two. Orange. Acid. And the guard. SAM: Five. MATT: Five. Cold. All right, so roll 10d6. Failure
for him. Failure for the blackguard, who rolled a four. All three of them fail. SAM: Okay. (counting) 39. MATT: 39. All righty… This war priest over here,
the one on the far end, as you strike. That was with the acid ray. The green ray strikes him and
he goes (death rattle) and slowly dissolves into a pile of purplish-red mush that begins to smear
across the roof. The other two are impacted by it, and they’re reeling from the pain. They’re
starting to show some real wear and tear now. That’s going to end yours? SAM: Yeah, pretty much. Oh, and I’ll fly closer to
the sphere. I said that already. MATT: Yeah. Vax. LIAM: Oh, I’m up? Lionel is right on that dark
paladin, right? MATT: That is correct. LIAM: All right. I would like to use my movement
to fly. It’s probably not all of it, but 120 feet to get to his backside and stab him in the back. MATT: You can get there. LIAM: We’ll start with that. MATT: You rush in. LIAM: That is a 19. MATT: 19 will hit, yes. LIAM: All right, so that is sneak attack damage.
He gets three plus eight is 11, plus… where the hell did my d8 go? Okay, 16 plus sneak attack
damage. (counting) 45. So that guy took 45 in the back. MATT: Yes, and as you rush down with the speed of
an elven bullet, you drive the blade right into the center of the armor plates, and you watch as
he’s chuckling with his glaive out, glaring at Lionel. (chuckles, death rattle, thud) And falls
dead to the ground. LIAM: Perfect. So that’s movement, action, and
what I have left is hasted action and bonus action, so I would like to use my bonus action to
zip over to Pike, 120 feet. MATT: As a dash. Okay. LIAM: Yeah, and use my hasted action to carry her
out of here, out where there’s nobody. Towards the end of your map. MATT: Okay, grabbing her, you can move at half
movement to try and pull her along. LIAM: That’s 60 feet. MATT: Correct. You get her about over here. LIAM: That’s great. MATT: That ends your turn. LIAM: I give her a bonus-bonus action to tousle
her hair. Next. MATT: Easy enough with the wind blowing around.
Vex. LAURA: Okay. I’m going to take aim at the other
cultist. I’m going to Hunter’s Mark them. That’s the old one with the staff? MATT: There are two of them that appear to be
staff wielders. The older one has been destroyed with acid. The other one you haven’t really gotten
close enough to see the face of. LAURA: But they’re holding a staff? MATT: Yeah. LAURA: I’m going to bramble shot that one. No.
Yeah, I’m going to bramble shot the one that I haven’t seen his face yet. MATT: Okay, so roll to attack. LAURA: That was a 33. MATT: Yeah, that will hit. Roll damage. LAURA: Okay. (counting) Nobody’s standing next to
him, right? MATT: Nope. LAURA: (counting) 27. So 27 damage, and then DC of
17. Strength DC of 17. LIAM: You’re a fucking beast. MATT: Does not succeed. He is restrained. (grunts)
As you slam with the arrow from the other side, (grunts) the vines curl up and wrap around,
constraining him. He’s still holding the staff through part of it, but he’s completely unable to
move and is restrained. LAURA: But he’s holding the staff, still? MATT: Yeah. LAURA: Okay, I’m going to hit him again. MATT: Go for it. TRAVIS and ASHLEY: Get him! LAURA: I can’t fucking add! 22? MATT: 22 does hit. Roll damage. LAURA: I know. MATT: 100th episode, guys. TRAVIS: It’s extravagant. SAM: We’re onto our bonus material. MATT: I know. I want to finish this to a narrative
beat. Sorry. Thanks for coming along, guys. LAURA: Do I get sneak attack because he’s
restrained? MATT: You do. LIAM: Advantage, yeah. Yeah, motherfucker. LAURA: That was the shittiest additional four. Oh
no. I don’t have any idea what I rolled before that. MATT: Then roll again. LAURA: Oh god. I’m so sorry! (counting) This is so
much better than the first roll. 23, and then. 33. MATT: 33. Got it. All right, so (arrow impact) the
other arrow hits. Blood pours out of the mouth as they’re being held there. They’re trying to break
away, but they’re not very strong. End of your turn? Trinket? LAURA: I’m going to get on my broom. MATT: Okay, you get on your broom. You going to
move anywhere? LAURA: No, but I’m going to be ready to. LIAM: (motorcycle revving) MATT: All righty, so the necromancer that you just
hit– LAURA: I Hunter’s Marked him, too, didn’t I? I
didn’t add my Hunter’s Mark on either of those attacks. An additional seven for Hunter’s Mark. MATT: Okay. All righty. He angrily, from beneath
the vines, gets his staff forward and begins chanting something under his breath. Rears back
and exhales, and you watch as a cloud of green, billowing, poisonous smoke spills out in this
area. That’s going to get all of you guys. I want Keyleth, Grog, Lionel, and Percy to all make a
constitution saving throw, please. TALIESIN: Is it magical? MATT: It is magical. It is a Cloudkill spell. TRAVIS: It’s not poison, though, right? MATT: It is poison. MARISHA: Don’t fuck me, Gil. Ooh, that’s not
great. I’m going to go ahead and roll my inspiration. That’s better. MATT: Okay, so you take– TRAVIS: I have resistance against poison because
of the Belt of Dwarvenkind. MATT: 15 points of poison damage, reduced to
seven. TRAVIS: Okay. MATT: All right. MARISHA: 12. MATT: 12. You suffer 30 points of poison damage. MARISHA: I’m okay. I’m all right. MATT: Lionel? MARISHA: How much? 31? MATT: 30 points of poison damage. JON: 18, but how does off a duck’s back work,
again? MATT: You use your reaction to reduce the damage
by half. JON: Do I have a reaction? Can I do that now? MATT: Yes, and you succeed on that, so you
actually reduce it to a quarter, so instead it is seven points of poison damage. Percival? TALIESIN: I rolled 27. MATT: 15 points of poison damage. SAM: Off a duck’s back? Oh mallard. MATT: The cloud remains in this area, so this
whole area is a billowing cloud of bad news. LAURA: I assume we didn’t hear that terrible pun
from inside the orb of death? JON: What was it? SAM: I said, oh mal-lard. Oh mallard. MATT: Yes, I understand it happens at the start of
their turn, but we’re trying to get through this quickly, guys. Don’t worry. Calming down the
internet. It’s fine. Yep. Two skeletons already went. That brings us to Pike. ASHLEY: Can I do anything? MATT: You can move and attack. No spells. LAURA: She can attack. Oh, she can’t attack. LIAM: But we’re way in the back. SAM: You can’t do anything? MATT: Not much you can do from this angle,
unfortunately. What do you want to do? ASHLEY: There’s no rolling against it or
anything? MATT: Nope. You get to roll against it in 30
days. ASHLEY: Oh, cool. I’ll be back in New York. TRAVIS: We’ll time-jump. MARISHA: I can fix it. Just give me a hot second. LAURA: What if you die? ASHLEY: Yeah, what if you die? LIAM: We’ll have several problems if Keyleth
dies. ASHLEY: Just wander off? I’ll start walking back
towards that way. MATT: This way? ASHLEY: Just start wandering. Yeah. MATT: You can dash again. ASHLEY: I don’t need to dash. MATT: Okay. You’ll stay back there? We’ll say you
get that far. That ends Pike’s turn. Keyleth, you’re up. MARISHA: Who’s left on the ceiling with me? MATT: It’s you and Grog and Lionel on the ceiling
with two skeletons. MARISHA: Two skeletons? That’s it? MATT: And one cultist. MARISHA: And one fucking cultist? JON: He’s been pretty hard to kill. TALIESIN: I can’t help. MARISHA: Oh my god. A lot of things have changed
in a hot second. Okay. What’s going on right now? TALIESIN: I can’t help. I’m not allowed to help. MARISHA: Where’s Delilah? LAURA: She’s hiding in the ball. We can’t get to
her. TRAVIS: Smoke everybody outside that bitch. MARISHA: I mean, why not? Go big or go home. I’m
going to burn my 9th-level Shapechange and go… I’m going to go red dragon? MATT: Okay. MARISHA: And that’s all I can do, right? MATT: Yep. That is your action. MARISHA: I’m a dragon on the ceiling. MATT: You can still move if you want to, but you
are a dragon on the ceiling. JON: Cool. LIAM: Do you have a giant crate of the things she
can turn into? MARISHA: He does. He had to pack a lot of stuff
because of me. I feel mildly guilty. MATT: That’s fine. What are you doing, Keyleth? MARISHA: Can I move, (impacts) giant dragon
walking on the ceiling, and then look down at Delilah backwards and upside down and say, hello! MATT: You get two attacks of opportunity from the
two skeletons as you step over. 18 and 21. MARISHA: No, yes. MATT: Take 11 points of slashing damage. Do you
have damage resistance in your dragon form? MARISHA: Yeah, I do. MATT: You move over and you look down. It’s an
orb, it’s not a cylinder, so you just see the giant red dome. You can’t see her because it’s a
dome. MARISHA: I can’t see her. MATT: Nope. So, you get up and you glance down.
For the purposes of this, you are currently right there and it’s just a big red dome. There, it’s
fine. Reverse Gravity makes this battlefield so easy to keep track of. LIAM: Sorry, Matt! MATT: It’s fine. All right, Keyleth, is that your
go? It was an action to cast it and your move. MARISHA: I have Frightful Presence for anyone who
might be terrified of me. That’s it. MATT: Nobody sees you right now through the
sphere. That ends your turn. All right. Delilah, within the sphere, the cultists next to her end up
throwing the last object up and they– well, no, sorry, they have not been throwing it in there
because when the sphere turned, they’d been holding in there waiting for a moment. Delilah
glances out and sees the dragon up there, she gets to make her save against your Frightful Presence.
That is a 21 wisdom. MARISHA: What’s that against? MATT: The DC of whatever your Frightful Presence
is. MARISHA: 19. Versus wisdom save. MATT: Wisdom saves, yeah, she makes it. She looks
out, seeing everyone falling apart out there, pulls back in, looks at Scanlan and goes, “There’s
more important things to do.” She grabs her amulet that she has around her neck and as she holds it
again, you watch as the white orb that was glowing turns to black once again. In that instant, Grog,
you revert back to your regular size, Keyleth, you return to your form, Percy, you fall off the side
of the wall and land on your feet barely. The skeletons just collapse into piles of bones. Tary,
you fall and land on the ground there. This Prismatic Wall vanishes. SAM: Does Feeblemind end? MATT: Feeblemind, currently, right now, is not
affecting you. Meaning, Feeblemind, whatever the spell is right now, doesn’t seem to be having an
effect. All of a sudden, your consciousness comes back to you. ASHLEY: Really?! MATT: Uh-huh. ASHLEY: Oh, fucking hell! MATT: She, clutching the amulet, gives a nod to
the two other cultists and all three of them step into the black orb. You watch as their forms
(whooshing noises) and vanish. TRAVIS: They disapparated. ASHLEY: They stepped into the circle? MATT: Yep! LAURA: The orb, they went into the orb! TRAVIS: They’re moving freely and it looked like
pretty familiarly– MATT: Through the sphere. MARISHA: They went into the thing! They’re gone
forever! TALIESIN: No! TRAVIS: And they’ve done it before. LAURA: That’s how they got over here! MATT: Scanlan, I want you to roll a perception
check. SAM: Not great. Five. MATT: Okay. Never mind. MARISHA: If she went in the tiny thing. MATT: Yep! MARISHA: I still have Shapechange for another
hour. SAM: No, it’s gone, you’re done. MARISHA: Wait, did she cancel my spell, or is it
just the orb that’s done? MATT: You sense the concentration is still there,
but the spell has no effect where you currently are. By the way, Lionel and Grog, you both
(falling sounds) slamming into the ground. TRAVIS: Dexterity? MATT: Nope! You guys suffer 15 points of
bludgeoning damage. So, reduced to half for both of you because you’re raging, so seven bludgeoning
damage each. LIAM: And are the wings schlorped back in? MATT: Yes. Your wings (retracting sound). JON: Mine says “while raging, resist bludgeoning
damage.” MATT: That’s what I’m saying, you’re taking half
damage from this. You take seven, as opposed to 15. SAM: Am I still there? MATT: You’re still there, right next to the orb. TALIESIN: I am going to unload a couple shots into
the orb and see what happens. MATT: Okay, go ahead and take a shot. TALIESIN: Animus freezes up, I throw it. Pull Bad
News. Bad News freezes up. I pull Retort. That hits. MATT: Technically, fire, discard, quick draw,
right? Quick draw means you can do it as a free action as a part of it? TALIESIN: Yeah, I’ll burn an action surge for
this. MATT: We’ll say because you only used your bonus
action to– oh, not to reload. As a quick draw, you can pull it as an attack, you’re fine. So, you
do three attacks, the third one fires. You fire (bullet) and it vanishes into the orb. TALIESIN: I’m going to sit and fix my guns. TRAVIS: Are there any enemies left on the map? MATT: Currently, there’s the one right there who’s
being held by the brambles. The brambles have vanished, and he’s currently still conscious, and
it’s not his turn yet. So, Percy took all the shots into the orb. It is now Scanlan’s turn. SAM: I will draw my blade and scream and hit that
thing with my sword. No, the guy! The guy, not the orb. MATT: You rush towards the guy as the brambles
wither away and fall to the ground. He turns around to rush towards the orb just as you rush
towards him. Your bardic battle cry just “Argh!” with Mythcarver. Go ahead and make your attack. SAM: Jon’s dice. 11 plus I think it’s ten.
Somewhere. MATT: That’ll hit. His armor class isn’t very
high; it’s just a mage armor of 15. LAURA: Yay! SAM: It’s just a sword; it’s not even magical now.
Shit, I can’t find anything, I think it’s 1d8 plus two. MATT: It’s 1d8 plus your strength. SAM: 1d8 plus three. Right? MATT: Well, it doesn’t have a magical bonus right
now. So just 1d8 plus your strength modifier. What’s your strength modifier? SAM: I can’t even find it. I think it’s one, but
this is an old sheet. MATT: So, 1d8 plus one, your strength hasn’t gone
up. SAM: Thank you. Seven. MATT: Seven damage. SAM: Plus one. So eight damage. MATT: Eight damage. How do you want to do this,
Scanlan? LAURA: The most lackluster how do you want to do
this! MATT: He had, like, three hit points left. How do
you want to do this? SAM: I’ll just stab him in his toes over and over
and I’ll say, this is what you get for separating me from my friends! Who I want to be around
forever because I love them! Is this what we’re supposed to do now, is this the thing? TRAVIS: Don’t question it. SAM: Okay. Yeah, my friends! MATT: As you repeatedly stab it in the feet, he’s
like, “Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!” and it’s like trying to pull away from you down the side of the pyramid
ziggurat. “What are you doing?!” as you keep stabbing it over and over again into the feet
until it falls unconscious. Bleeding out through his ankles. How very Scanlan. TRAVIS: Through his ankles. LAURA: (laughing) That is the stupidest death! TRAVIS: All right, we’re going in the little
sphere. Here we go. LAURA: No! MARISHA: So, what? What? TRAVIS: No, no, no. MARISHA: So it’s only a dark magical, anti-magical
field because shewantsit to be?! TRAVIS: She manipulated it. LAURA: She turned it into that. MARISHA: Which means– LAURA: She succeeded on the previous one. This a
pathway into some other world now. MARISHA: She can change it! JON: She did something. It was black before, then
she turned it white, and I don’t know if that allowed magic. But when she turned it black
again, all magic stops, so. TRAVIS: Which is like the one that we’ve been
around. LIAM: I mean, she knows what she’s doing. TRAVIS: Who has Speak with Dead? LAURA: We can’t do anything in here. TALIESIN: We’re going to drag this cadaver
outside. LAURA: Okay, let’s take the cadaver outside. MARISHA: So, it’s just very strong magic which
makes her change what it is? LIAM: She knows how it works. We don’t know why
she’s here, but she figured shit out the last time. LAURA: We fucking killed her. How did we kill her
before? How did she die? MATT: You killed her in the hallway as she was
trying to escape back to Castle Whitestone when you were fighting Orthax. LAURA: Like, she fully fucking died. MATT: You killed her and threw her body in the
acid pit. LAURA: Holy shit. TALIESIN: Yeah. TRAVIS: Not a lot of remains to be, you know. TALIESIN: Resurrected. MARISHA: All of their magic was necromantic. SAM: What if it’s just her soul or something? LAURA: What if it’s not really her? TRAVIS: Well, listen, we’re not going in the orb,
right? TALIESIN: No. TRAVIS: Yeah, so let’s drag one of these
smart-looking fucks outside and have Pike do Twenty Questions. SAM: I’m a little worried that once we walk
outside, Pike becomes dumb again. LAURA: Well, she can Greater Restoration her as
soon as we walk outside. MARISHA: I can. TALIESIN: Let’s take this outside. Just take it
outside. Nothing good happens here. MARISHA: Wait, before we go. Pike, does Sarenrae
know anything about this? Anything? ASHLEY: I can check. TRAVIS: Sam, I think you’re right. TALIESIN: You’re just going to waste your attempt
in here. JON: There might be some ducks. MATT: Are you going to try to have a brief
communion with Sarenrae in the temple? LAURA: I mean, you could try. LIAM: If you lose your brain, you can’t do it, so
why not? ASHLEY: I’ll try. MATT: You drop to your knees for a moment and
concentrate, hoping for her wisdom. Go ahead and make a general wisdom check. Roll a d20 and add
your wisdom modifier. Plus five. ASHLEY: Wisdom modifier? MATT: Yeah, I believe it’s plus five. ASHLEY: Okay. 22. MATT: 22. As you concentrate, you feel the warmth
of Sarenrae’s embrace descend from the darkness of the inside of your eyelids. You see the angelic
form of her flaming aura come down and her hands touch the sides of your cheek. She turns your head
around towards the orb. And, where previously you saw the little black dot, instead, you see a large
oval doorway. Around it, it is flickering madly like a hundred spinning razors around the edges,
but just beyond it you can see what appears to be a desolate, gray landscape, what looks to be a
scattering of city buildings across this broken, black shadowland, and in the center a singular
black obsidian tower that rises up to where you can’t quite see the top from your current angle.
And she gets down really close to the side of your ear. You feel the warmth of her divine breath
against your face. She says, “This is the destiny. “This needs to stop. Only terror will come through
this.” ASHLEY: We have to go there? MATT: “Whatever way you can. Our reach cannot go
beyond the Divine Gate.” ASHLEY: If I go there, will you not be able to go
with me? MATT: “I will be diminished, if at all able to.” ASHLEY: Okay. Thank you. MATT: And her finger touches your head and she
kisses the top of your forehead and you feel the warm presence again, and she withdraws. As she
withdraws, the cold is even harder with her absence because now the proximity of that shadow,
of this room, just this general sense of negative energy and death that emanates from this direction
behind you. As soon as you watch her light vanish and you open your eyes again, you’re chilled to
the bone. ASHLEY: Okay. Well, it’s a doorway, and we have to
go there. It’s the only way to stop this. LAURA: Stop what? ASHLEY: I don’t know. LAURA: Well, we can’t go through now. TALIESIN: Can’t we? MARISHA: Is it just like this now? Like the
ziggurat in Whitestone? TALIESIN: I don’t know. Can’t we? TRAVIS: Yeah, we can. LAURA: Oh, fuck. But, we’re not even healed. They
just went through. We’re going to go through and just die immediately. SAM: We have to go at least find out if the spells
are still affecting us. If we go through and Pike’s dumb– ASHLEY: Maybe we should back out. MARISHA: The last time I put my hand in the sphere
when it was black it nearly tore me apart. We could try again. LAURA: It was just a doorway? ASHLEY: It was a doorway, and it opened into a
city of sorts and in the middle was an obsidian tower. LAURA: That’s what I saw through the other one! ASHLEY: Okay. LIAM: Do I feel anything? Sense anything? MATT: In what way? LIAM: From my patron. MATT: Do you wish to try to concentrate there? LIAM: Yeah. MATT: Make a wisdom check. d20, add your wisdom
modifier. LIAM: Use my last Luck of the day. Same thing.
It’s shit. Seven. MATT: Seven? You concentrate and you get the sense
that the proximity of this orb and something about the nature of this whole occurrence is interfering
with your connection with your deity temporarily. You try and reach out to her, but nothing is
returning your call. TRAVIS: Yeah, let’s step out of the range, see
what happens. LAURA: Can we back out and see how far the range
goes? Is it the same distance as our ziggurat? MATT: So, you drag a body, you said? LAURA: Yeah, one of the bodies. TRAVIS: Which one, the dark paladin? LIAM: Yeah, that asshole. MATT: So, you take the black guard, drag it behind
you. The rest of you all continue down the pathway. You get to about where that
T-intersection was and Pike, your brain goes numb once more. ASHLEY: (laughing) No! MARISHA: Keyleth goes over to Pike and puts her
palm on her head and casts Greater Restoration. MATT: The spell immediately loses its hold and you
regain control of your facilities. ASHLEY: Disaster averted, Keyleth. I throw my arms
around her and I kiss her on the forehead, on the cheek. LAURA: Just full on her lips. ASHLEY: Sorry, I’m just so intense. MARISHA: The amount you’ve saved us. It’s nothing.
I’ve learned it from you. ASHLEY: Okay, do we need to talk to this dead
person? TRAVIS: Yeah. MARISHA: No. TRAVIS: What? We don’t need to talk to this dead
person? MARISHA: Sorry, I was answering a different
question. Continue. TRAVIS: Do it. ASHLEY: I’ll cast Speak with Dead. MATT: Speak with Dead. You watch the plate armor
rouse ever so slightly as the fresh corpse begins to clink and tense against the metal plates. You
hear the creaking sound of breath trying to escape from the reedy thin slit where, apparently, part
of the dagger blow that you had shoved in the back of its neck went through and cut part of the vocal
cards. LAURA: Eww! Fucking gross! MATT: You have its attention. ASHLEY: Is this one of the ones where his eye is
missing, is he one of those guys? MATT: As you glance closer to the black guard,
because the helmet’s still on, you’d have to pull the helmet off. ASHLEY: He’s the guy with the– yeah. Pull it off
for sure. MATT: Pull the helmet off– it’s missing its eye. SAM: By the way, while this is going on, I’m
dragging Doty out. MATT: Okay. (creaking) LAURA: I help. Trinket helps, too, because he’s
stronger. ASHLEY: Okay, what do we want to know? MATT: Five questions. ASHLEY: Why an eye is missing? TRAVIS: How they access the gate. TALIESIN: What is it? LIAM: You’ve got five? ASHLEY: Five. LIAM: Is the gate safe for us to travel? ASHLEY: Who do you work for? Okay. Is it safe for
any of us to get through the gate? MATT: You can see the lips are curled back against
the teeth and the skin is stretched tight against the skull. While once living, this had some sort
of necrotic twisting to its flesh, whether it be by proximity or practice. But the jaws open.
(gasping) Through the jaw doesn’t move, you hear the escaping thin air forming words that say, “You
need one of the crafted stones to pass unharmed.” LAURA: Or the blade, the sphere! MATT: (gasping) “Or be hearty enough to survive
its ravishing doorway.” ASHLEY: Who do you serve? MATT: “We are the Remnants. Small parts of the
whole, given purpose to come together and remake “the vessel of the Undying King.” ASHLEY: Why do you have one eye missing? MATT: “To bequeath ourselves of the highest
Remnant order to the Whispered One is to gift our “sight like he did. Be granted knowledge he
keeps.” LAURA: There’s only two more questions left. LIAM: Suggestion. How did Ripley return– LAURA: Not Ripley. Delilah. LIAM: That’s what I meant to say. Delilah. ASHLEY: Was that Delilah? LAURA and LIAM: Yeah. LIAM: How did Delilah return? ASHLEY: I have one job! LAURA: It’s stupid! ASHLEY: How did Delilah return? MATT: “I know not the means. But she is a powerful
necromancer, and with the right preparation, even “death can be averted.” ASHLEY: What did you say? LAURA: Or, do they have plans to attack through
the orbs? Or how many orbs are there on this plane? LIAM: He didn’t know the answer to the last one.
So he might not know the answer. LAURA: Yeah, are there plans to come through the
orbs? ASHLEY: Yeah, that’s a great one. LIAM: Is there anything that Delilah is afraid
of? LAURA: Nah, he wouldn’t know that. ASHLEY: What are your plans? What are The
Remnants’ plans? MATT: The whisper becomes a slight chuckle.
(chuckling) “His return is nigh. The Whispered One “will come. His acolytes will help him complete his
destiny through the Ritual of Seeding. From within “the gate he will rise, the solitary tyrant and
lord of Exandria. And with the sole crown of “creation guarded upon his head, we who were his
body will be rewarded with life eternal at his side.” (gasping) And the spell fades. TALIESIN: Did he not have one more? MATT: That was five questions. LAURA: Great. MATT: As you sit here in the cavern, contemplating
what these words mean, what the next step of your accelerated involvement in this plot, we’re going
to end tonight’s episode. Ran a little over, guys; hundredth episode, that’s a record. MARISHA: What time is it? 12:41! Oh my god! LIAM: 12:41?! LAURA: Is that the longest we’ve ever gone? MATT: Holy shit. For those who are still here,
hanging out, thank you for staying! For those who aren’t, enjoy your two-parter! MARISHA: A lot to unpack, there. TALIESIN: Tune in next week for a shopping
episode. LAURA: Yeah, for sure. TALIESIN: Critical Role goes to the beach. LIAM: Scanlan, Taryon. Wow. TALIESIN: Doty. MARISHA: The eight characters on this side of the
table. MATT: Yeah, seriously. Dude, thank you again, Jon,
for joining us! (cheering) MATT: Thank you guys so much for watching. Thank
you for being part of our hundredth episode. LAURA: Thank you, Marvel Puzzle Quest! MATT: Thank you, Marvel Puzzle Quest for being our
amazing sponsor. Thank you, Critters, for being amazing. I’m going to get my, like, four hours of
sleep before getting on a plane to a convention. So I’ll see you guys in Texas! LIAM: Real soon. MATT: Yep. Anyway, love you all. Have a wonderful
night, and is it Thursday yet? Good night! [music]


  1. M4rifleguy says:

    Liam "After seeing those faces I set my armor to necrotic damage " and since I didnt say it out loud and failed my saving throw that's what I want and I know Matt's going to let me. And maybe i'll use 4 or 5 lucks in this episode as well!!!!! Because I am LIAM.

    And how many times did Matt have to tell Marisha she lost her dragon form…. Jesus she is brain dead.

  2. Floyd Wurst says:

    5 plus 10 is 20 damage… that made my brain hurt.

  3. Boz says:

    I’m so glad they left G&S. This AV team should be beaten and run out of town.

  4. Jack Glynn says:

    I'm gonna be really sad once I finish the first campaign

  5. Splatninja says:

    Poor Grog.

  6. im gay says:

    Everyone at Marisha for the 50th time: no magic, you aren't a dragon, she ended your spell, you can't transform
    Marisha:…. I catch them with my wings

  7. yake222 says:

    this episode could be renamed "Oof."

  8. Jonah Collins says:

    "I'm a big guy, but you make me feel small" damn, Grog!!

  9. Mobiles&Things says:

    2:16:02 DANI!!! XD

  10. Mobiles&Things says:

    Scanlon's alias of Aes Adan threw me for the longest time because I thought it was spelt; Adon…

    Well done, good sir… XD

  11. Brynja says:

    The first time Scanlan sings, suddenly everything feels right in the world once more. I adore Tary, but damn, I’ve missed that gnome.

  12. Jin Wong says:

    I've missed scanlan singing

  13. Samantha Bean says:

    We started from the bottom (in 2019) and now we’re here (in 2019)! 😅

  14. TheGinnerMatty says:

    I love all characters and everyone but.. why didn’t Marisha turn into a Beholder and simply look at the orb to cancel it?

  15. ZathorsArmory says:

    3:33:01 Thud So good

  16. Austinator 13 says:

    I’m watching the 100th episode of Critical Role on New Year’s Day 2020

  17. Wiz Rad says:

    Half of those yoga poses probably are also obscure Marvel characters. Firefly and Wildman in particular.

  18. Rob Kinney says:

    I've not played 100 sessions total. 100 with the same group, in the same campaign, is an accomplishment in itself.

  19. TheStrangeAlchemist says:

    Is this the first on screen appearance of Dani?

  20. Veraxin says:

    Hey f*** you Delilah, what’s it like in Marquet? I’m a hundred feet away and tonight you look so sh**y yes you do. God I really hate you.

  21. Justin McCurdy says:

    To be fair to Taliesin, Firefly is a comic book character, just not from Marvel.

  22. Austinator 13 says:

    The fact that Laura thinks the MAIN ANTAGONIST THE WHISPERED ONE is Orcus right now is really annoying me because I remember from back in Whitestone forever ago Matt said it was Vecna, I’m positive it’s Vecna. Episode 114 is Vecna the Ascended

  23. Spncr313 says:

    Having seen the Darrington Brigade one shot first, all the duck references are so much better now lol

  24. Thomas Morgan says:

    So when Grog and Pike were fighting the skeletons and Lionel was showing Grog up and he did his last reckless great weapon master, did Travis forget he got advantage and didn’t have to keep the natural 1?

  25. LydiaTereK says:

    “100th episode, here we go!”

    – me, 13-1-2020

  26. shinrahunter says:

    Once again, Marisha gets more annoying as the episode goes on. They get told "all magic in the area is cancelled out, Keyleth reverts back to her normal form", they KNOW this because of the orb they have in Whitestone yet withing 2 mins Marisha says "I catch them with my wings"…..

    I swear she doesn't pay attention to anything. If I were in the game I would deliberately try to kill her character off.

  27. Kody Belliveau says:

    In Chod we trust!

  28. Cody Miller says:

    He fukin licked his hand and rubbed his face hahahahahaha

  29. Vann EckonicONE says:

    I don't know if anyone has said this out loud, but in that night's announcement when it came to Marvel Puzzle Quest, Tal was right. Wild Thing is both. She is in the same universe as May-Day Parker AKA Spider-Girl.

    Wild Thing is the daughter of Wolverine and Elektra. She inherited her father's famous healing factor and was trained by Psylocke to develop psi-claws that she uses in battle.

  30. Mitchell Trca says:

    Who else was screaming a little when Lionel cast a spell while raging? 😂 To be fair though new player and all that.

  31. Gunblademan117 says:

    How does Doty take necrotic damage? He is a construct.

  32. Austin Gutierrez says:

    Man, I feel like Scanlan should tell VM to shove off. They didn't care much for him before he left and now, they are just awful.

  33. GreyWolfGR says:

    i love how scanlan wanted to just take that 50d6 damage, possibly petrification and transportation to another plane of existence like "i can take it", sure you can, but you most likely cant XD

  34. xWinterWolfx7 says:

    And suddenly the orb flashes and magic is dispelled
    My mind: Going from dancing on the ceiling to dying on the floor rip

  35. Shornaal13 says:

    Why is Kaylee suddenly Scottish? Fairly certain she didn't use to be.

  36. Shornaal13 says:

    New set's cool. I hope they get normal mics, though.

  37. Shornaal13 says:

    Might be the first time I'm glad Vax decides to go and talk someone's ear off for an hour. 😮

  38. Shornaal13 says:

    No mention of the cheap vegan-bashing bit? Nope? Alright.

  39. DarthSinistris says:


  40. Shornaal13 says:

    BS on Scanlan taking all the rainbow shit through his dimension door. Matt's just frustrated Sam's got a clever work-around his death toy.

  41. David Birch says:

    He's called the meatman, and there's NO MEAT in his house.

  42. Friendly Redneck Neighbor says:

    You say the words “JoJo stand” you get a like, that is the law.

  43. Tristan Leder says:

    The freak out at 3:59:00 is absolute perfection, rivaled only by poor Jon’s smile of confusion…*who the F is that? Must be bad*

  44. Onin Sagun says:

    Golden. Never change, Critical Role.

  45. Itay Sror says:

    VM should open another restaurant in Marquet called Kebab's Ruin

  46. BrotharTheUnbreakable says:

    Pike: I'm not going with you!

    Goes with Scanlan anyway

    I guess it takes a year to turn someone into a tsundere…

  47. L0re Online says:

    Does 5th edition not have delayed actions? They allow you to permanently lower your place in the initiative order.

  48. L0re Online says:

    Remember back when Percy was a damage dealer? Now he sucks.

  49. Caleb Welch says:

    The day is January 31st 2020. And I have reached the 100th episode! Hell ya!

  50. Stephen Manak says:

    The best is traves rolling, and then saying he can live

  51. Chloe says:

    Thanks, Kyshakk.
    9:40 Commercial From the Slayer's Cake!
    15:58 Liam's Vestige!
    18:39 Welcome Back Everyone!
    26:58 Keyleth's Group Hug
    30:55 Scanlan's Headquarters
    35:50 The Meatman's Throne
    38:06 Kaylee Revealed!
    47:20 New Item!
    53:52 Messing With the New Guy
    57:38 I Can Be a Cloud?
    1:09:04 The Smoulder Crown Mountain
    1:20:51 Vex Searches for the Second Entrance
    1:22:12 Face of Annihilation
    1:47:42 If Matt Wants to Change the Rules…
    1:49:47 Two More Faces!
    1:52:12 Fake Out!
    1:54:29 Lionel Shouts
    1:56:34 Six Figures, Yo!
    1:57:33 Let Scanlan Open the Door!
    2:07:42 Dibs!
    2:08:40 Break Starts!
    2:31:39 Break Ends!
    2:32:28 Please let Matt's hair be the GIF of the Week!
    2:43:54 Vegan Dinner
    2:52:09 Pike Talks With Grog
    2:59:28 Pike and Grog Get Ready to Fight!
    3:05:41 Favored Enemy: Undead
    3:10:03 Lionel Impresses Grog (3:10:54 Best Rolls of the Night!)
    3:13:39 Reckless Great Weapon Master!
    3:16:23 Grog Gets Depressed
    3:17:05 Scanlan's Apology
    3:24:56 Travis Rolls For It!
    3:39:00 The Iron Bands of Bad Dick Jokes
    3:44:40 Circle of Death
    3:55:21 We Have Visitors!
    3:57:51 A Familiar Voice
    3:59:00 WHAT?!! DUN DUN DUN!
    4:05:38 Prismatic Wall is cast
    4:07:01 Scanlan Inspires Vex
    4:44:27 Not This Time, My Dear.
    4:50:32 The Saddest Inspiration
    4:51:01 Dimension Door Through All 7 Layers
    5:14:05 Shapechange
    5:16:18 There's More Important Things To Do
    5:21:36 The Most Lackluster HDYWTDT
    5:38:31 We'll Pick This Up Next Week!

  52. Dooley Versus says:

    Matt seemed oddly tense during this episode.

  53. Silver Kyrie says:

    Hearing "What if we save them forever?" about that cupcakes in the beginning is especially entertaining now after episode 93 of campaign 2

  54. Anna Josefin Palm says:

    Oh my gods, I had a mouthful of beer when Vex poked out the door. That was the worst, hahah

    Also I frickin' choked when Travis rolled two 1s in a row

  55. SirSamVimesSA says:

    Nothing gives me life more than Matt Mercer making duck sounds.

  56. Paige Craig says:

    I started on November 8th, 2019, it is 2/9/ 2020, almost on campaign two already

  57. Jamal Costley says:

    Never really been a D&D fan but you guys are making me want to play

  58. Simon Chavez says:

    3:08:40 Grog gets rekt by Lionel

  59. Alec Ward says:

    Ol' Taliesin "I'm-SO-proud-of-you" Jaffe was in full effect this episode.

  60. Jay Luc says:

    I wish for one day to get a one-shot with Gern AND Lionel AND Lyra in the same episode.

  61. NovaStalker says:

    The narrative of those double 20s and double 1s in a row is so perfect. I actually can't believe it.

  62. Jaelon Griffin says:

    This is Fjord before Fjord

  63. Jaelon Griffin says:

    Delilah had a phylactery hidden somewhere…

  64. Joshua Purinton says:

    Funny thing about the Marvel Puzzle Quest quiz, Firefly is the name of a DC character

  65. Immaa Bananaa says:

    It's like Marisha doesn't listen to half the things that are said…

  66. Night Elf says:

    awesome! the arrow shatters. no effect.

  67. WhiteIverson says:

    9:40 Commercial From the Slayer's Cake!
    15:58 Liam's Vestige!

    18:39 Welcome Back Everyone!

    26:58 Keyleth's Group Hug

    30:55 Scanlan's Headquarters

    35:50 The Meatman's Throne

    38:06 Kaylee Revealed!

    47:20 New Item!

    53:52 Messing With the New Guy

    57:38 I Can Be a Cloud?

    1:09:04 The Smoulder Crown Mountain

    1:20:51 Vex Searches for the Second Entrance

    1:22:12 Face of Annihilation

    1:47:42 If Matt Wants to Change the Rules…

    1:49:47 Two More Faces!

    1:52:12 Fake Out!

    1:54:29 Lionel Shouts

    1:56:34 Six Figures, Yo!

    1:57:33 Let Scanlan Open the Door!

    2:07:42 Dibs!

    2:08:40 Break Starts!

    2:31:39 Break Ends!

    2:32:28 Please let Matt's hair be the GIF of the Week!

    2:43:54 Vegan Dinner

    2:52:09 Pike Talks With Grog

    2:59:28 Pike and Grog Get Ready to Fight!

    3:05:41 Favored Enemy: Undead

    3:10:03 Lionel Impresses Grog (3:10:54 Best Rolls of the Night!)

    3:13:39 Reckless Great Weapon Master!

    3:16:23 Grog Gets Depressed

    3:17:05 Scanlan's Apology

    3:24:56 Travis Rolls For It!

    3:39:00 The Iron Bands of Bad Dick Jokes

    3:44:40 Circle of Death

    3:55:21 We Have Visitors!

    3:57:51 A Familiar Voice

    3:59:00 WHAT?!! DUN DUN DUN!

    4:05:38 Prismatic Wall is cast

    4:07:01 Scanlan Inspires Vex

    4:44:27 Not This Time, My Dear.

    4:50:32 The Saddest Inspiration

    4:51:01 Dimension Door Through All 7 Layers

    5:14:05 Shapechange

    5:16:18 There's More Important Things To Do

    5:21:36 The Most Lackluster HDYWTDT

    5:38:31 We'll Pick This Up Next Week!

  68. Alex B says:

    Ashley Johnson is stunning this episode.

  69. Robert Sander says:

    Oh come on, Prismatic Wall specifically says you can't teleport into it. It's a 9th level spell! How disappointing.

  70. Nationalist Joe says:

    I just realized Lionel is a response to Taryon.

    Vox Machina replaced Scanlan with Tary, so Scanlan replaced Grog with Lionel

  71. Nationalist Joe says:

    Lol vex keeps getting mad because trinket is obsolete compared to doty

  72. MommyOfZoeAndLiam says:

    I couldn't figure out why this Jon guy looked so familiar last episode and then when they said Jon Heder this episode I was like, why do I feel like I should know that name? Once it clicked I see it, but dang Napolean Dynamite looks super different without the blond curls!

  73. MommyOfZoeAndLiam says:

    Last episode when Scanlan said he would buy some ducks just to keep around for Lionel to talk to, was so sweet, and the fact that he brought it back up again showing his intent to follow through, well that made my heart happy. I like to think he saw a little bit of Grog in Lionel and couldn't stand to see him possibly taken advantage of and took him under his wing. And like he said he wasn't a replacement, more like a reminder.

    On another note, how long til someone remembers Scanlan has the transport stone?

  74. Meteorkeeper says:

    Man Kelith's I never listen when people talk sickness is in high gear this episode.

  75. AlGhoul says:

    Circle of Death should've affected his allies, too.

    Dimension Door does not pass through the wall; it teleports you to the other side. 5e doesn't say teleport spells use other dimensions for travel, but previous version say so. Since Dimension Door does not pass through the wall, but teleports on the other side. Nor should he have been blinded after teleporting.

  76. Homeless Pyro says:

    Anyone else Notice that when someone is trying to attack one of Matt's creatures and gets an outrageous number that he doesnt jokingly say it misses whereas Percy and Scanlan have? Idk how I've noticed it but obviously as a DM not everything is joking and such but that's something I've noticed. Anyone else?

  77. Draleks911 says:

    Thanks, Kyshakk.
    9:40 Commercial From the Slayer's Cake!
    15:58 Liam's Vestige!
    18:39 Welcome Back Everyone!
    26:58 Keyleth's Group Hug
    30:55 Scanlan's Headquarters
    35:50 The Meatman's Throne
    38:06 Kaylee Revealed!
    47:20 New Item!
    53:52 Messing With the New Guy
    57:38 I Can Be a Cloud?
    1:09:04 The Smoulder Crown Mountain
    1:20:51 Vex Searches for the Second Entrance
    1:22:12 Face of Annihilation
    1:47:42 If Matt Wants to Change the Rules…
    1:49:47 Two More Faces!
    1:52:12 Fake Out!
    1:54:29 Lionel Shouts
    1:56:34 Six Figures, Yo!
    1:57:33 Let Scanlan Open the Door!
    2:07:42 Dibs!
    2:08:40 Break Starts!
    2:31:39 Break Ends!
    2:32:28 Please let Matt's hair be the GIF of the Week!
    2:43:54 Vegan Dinner
    2:52:09 Pike Talks With Grog
    2:59:28 Pike and Grog Get Ready to Fight!
    3:05:41 Favored Enemy: Undead
    3:10:03 Lionel Impresses Grog (3:10:54 Best Rolls of the Night!)
    3:13:39 Reckless Great Weapon Master!
    3:16:23 Grog Gets Depressed
    3:17:05 Scanlan's Apology
    3:24:56 Travis Rolls For It!
    3:39:00 The Iron Bands of Bad Dick Jokes
    3:44:40 Circle of Death
    3:55:21 We Have Visitors!
    3:57:51 A Familiar Voice
    3:59:00 WHAT?!! DUN DUN DUN!
    4:05:38 Prismatic Wall is cast
    4:07:01 Scanlan Inspires Vex
    4:44:27 Not This Time, My Dear.
    4:50:32 The Saddest Inspiration
    4:51:01 Dimension Door Through All 7 Layers
    5:14:05 Shapechange
    5:16:18 There's More Important Things To Do
    5:21:36 The Most Lackluster HDYWTDT
    5:38:31 We'll Pick This Up Next Week!

  78. RedDawn430 says:

    Wait… Pike, Scanlan, Tarry, and Doty got a higher stealth score than Vex.

  79. Acute Castle says:

    I love how Jon always kept meta. "I do this as a cloud…" "You guys don't know, but that duck was pretty chill." "I punch her [Keyleth] in the face…"

  80. CERap22 says:


    Both twins get to assassinate 2 unsuspecting cultists.

    Percy: "It's gonna be a cadaver and a fern."💀🌿

  81. Acute Castle says:

    I forgot how much I missed Scanlan's singing! That first song to get the mansion broke me.

  82. CERap22 says:

    5:19:00 i wish i knew what Scanlan's perception check would have yielded had it been a success

  83. DulishusWaffle says:

    This fucking cave entrance turned them all stupid

  84. VonSnootingham says:

    11:23 Never accept a cupcake from Laura Bailey.

  85. The Nickel Archer says:

    timestamp 1:39:19

  86. The Legendary Legacy says:

    2 Nat 20’s
    2 Nat 1’s

    Perfectly balanced

  87. Miguel Prado says:

    spending like 2 hours in a 500 feet tunnel in the 100th episode, was horrendously irritating, but oh so in character.

  88. Brian Whitman says:

    J CJH

  89. Gangrel Aussie says:

    There's something slightly odd in the lighting or something. The video looks like it's somewhere between where it is in quality for Campaign 2 and where it's been at in Campaign 1.

  90. Gangrel Aussie says:

    The sphere of annihilation got robbed with 5e: it should be like a 6 foot radius, almost like staring down the throat of a Tarrasque.

  91. Gangrel Aussie says:

    To be fair, I don't think the party ever appreciated Scanlan enough. I'm talking 50% of all loot enough 😉

  92. Gangrel Aussie says:

    4:55:13 – Most recent Rulings on Dimension Door & Prismatic Sphere from Jeremy Crawford suggest that a spell with a target other than you would not allow passage, so the spell should have effectively fizzled (but D&D 5e is not very good at covering it's bases so it's a hard to read and interpret kinda thing). Either way, damn.

  93. Gangrel Aussie says:

    4:55:53 – "Congratulations, you're in a prison cell with Charles Manson" Honestly? That wouldn't be so bad. Charles Manson was more likely to steal your book or draw a dick on your head than to kill you. Edit: As suggested by Liam, Jeffrey Dahmer would be a bad cellmate, especially if he thought you were an attractive male that was smaller than him. And Scanlan is a gnome with a charisma of 22. Eep!

  94. Gangrel Aussie says:

    Honestly? I never liked Pike. Deal. Scanlan really does seem like the only smart person in the party.

  95. Gangrel Aussie says:

    Why is one eye missing? That's like asking why monks shaved their heads. Moronic question.

  96. Gangrel Aussie says:

    The audio is majorly scuffed near the end. 🙁

  97. Feder RPG says:

    2020 Crew bringing it up top again
    9:40 Commercial From the Slayer's Cake!

    15:58 Liam's Vestige!

    18:39 Welcome Back Everyone!

    26:58 Keyleth's Group Hug

    30:55 Scanlan's Headquarters

    35:50 The Meatman's Throne

    38:06 Kaylee Revealed!

    47:20 New Item!

    53:52 Messing With the New Guy

    57:38 I Can Be a Cloud?

    1:09:04 The Smoulder Crown Mountain

    1:20:51 Vex Searches for the Second Entrance

    1:22:12 Face of Annihilation

    1:47:42 If Matt Wants to Change the Rules…

    1:49:47 Two More Faces!

    1:52:12 Fake Out!

    1:54:29 Lionel Shouts

    1:56:34 Six Figures, Yo!

    1:57:33 Let Scanlan Open the Door!

    2:07:42 Dibs!

    2:08:40 Break Starts!

    2:31:39 Break Ends!

    2:32:28 Please let Matt's hair be the GIF of the Week!

    2:43:54 Vegan Dinner

    2:52:09 Pike Talks With Grog

    2:59:28 Pike and Grog Get Ready to Fight!

    3:05:41 Favored Enemy: Undead

    3:10:03 Lionel Impresses Grog (3:10:54 Best Rolls of the Night!)

    3:13:39 Reckless Great Weapon Master!

    3:16:23 Grog Gets Depressed

    3:17:05 Scanlan's Apology

    3:24:56 Travis Rolls For It!

    3:39:00 The Iron Bands of Bad Dick Jokes

    3:44:40 Circle of Death

    3:55:21 We Have Visitors!

    3:57:51 A Familiar Voice

    3:59:00 WHAT?!! DUN DUN DUN!

    4:05:38 Prismatic Wall is cast

    4:07:01 Scanlan Inspires Vex

    4:44:27 Not This Time, My Dear.

    4:50:32 The Saddest Inspiration

    4:51:01 Dimension Door Through All 7 Layers

    5:14:05 Shapechange

    5:16:18 There's More Important Things To Do

    5:21:36 The Most Lackluster HDYWTDT

    5:38:31 We'll Pick This Up Next Week!

  98. micha McV. says:

    i like the fachwerk-construkt but the wall sht have been thick as rhe wood locks so it would look even more authentic

  99. Erriku says:

    Firefly and Wild Thing are both Marvel characters.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *