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Lana! Get…. [DOOR CLOSES] Excuse me. What can l do for you? Who are you? Joel. Are you the kid l chased last night? ls there something l can help you with? You know. you shouldn’t drive like that. People get hurt all the time. It’s stupid. Are you a smart kid? Huh? l mean. …
(alarm buzzing) – [Voiceover] Your tank seems to be full. Make your way to the facilities before it’s too late. (suspenseful techno music) Take a right. – Hey did you see The Bachelorette last night? – [Voiceover] This is your co-worker Brent. You can either talk to him and piss yourself, or you can ignore …
Of pork bellies is going down, william. It’s christmastime. Everybody’s uptight. Could we please buy now, randolph? All right, if you want to lose money, go ahead. What are you trying to say, william? Okay. Pork belly prices have been dropping all morning. Which means everybody’s sitting in their office And they’re waiting for them …
WITH THE REST OF MY LIFE, I STILL THOUGHT IT WAS IMPORTANT THAT I GO TO COLLEGE THAT FALL. NO, I THOUGHT ABOUT IT. I REALLY THOUGHT LONG AND HARD ABOUT THIS, AND I THOUGHT, “IF I DON’T GO TO COLLEGE, I MIGHT GET YELLED AT.” [laughter] IS THERE ANYTHING WORSE ON EARTH THAN BEING …
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Dana is an old buddy of mine. As you know, we did old SNL, and we– at the same time; we overlapped a bit. I met you, I think, when you were 19. -No. -Or 20. -Oh, you met me? Yeah. -When you were 19 or 20, and you looked like a fetus with shoes. …
um Addie what are you doing I got a bad feeling about this uh Addie can I ask what’s going on with these two dummies that one’s mr. wonderful and that one shark Cuban what’s the point of all this we need to brainstorm alternate revenue sources for our business so naturally you put dummies …
WE MISSED YOU. WE REALLY DID. HEY, LISTEN, HEY, YOU GUYS, ARE YOU GUYS SICK OF TRUMP NEWS?>>YEAH!>>James: ME TOO. SO TONIGHT WE’RE GOING TO TALK ABOUT SOMEONE WAY SMARTER THAN DONALD TRUMP. (APPLAUSE) AND WHEN I SAY SOMEONE, I AM TALKING ABOUT A BEAR THAT PAINTS. NO, REALLY, SERIOUSLY, THIS IS A TRUE STORY. …
TOO LONG, YOU PASS THAT POINT OF NO RETURN WHERE YOU START TALKING TO CUSTOMERS LIKE THIS. “YES, SIR, I ALREADY TOLD YOU. IT’S IN AISLE THREE. I CAN’T PICK YOU UP AND CARRY YOU OVER THERE.” SO I’D PASSED THAT POINT A LONG TIME AGO. HAD A TASTE OF MY DREAM–GONE. I WAS MAD …